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63 Comments on "Poll – How Many EMandLO Readers Are Cheaters?"


SS
5 years 2 months ago

@Johnny You seem like an enlightened guy, so I’ll remind you that if your body ever seems out of whack, nutrition should be the first thing you check. A lot of guys get adrenal fatigue (low adrenaline caused by stress, lack of sleep, too much caffeine), so make sure a naturopath or holistic nutritionist is on your health care list. Too much stress and caffeine could definitely lead to occasional bouts of Al Bundy syndrome!

Also, yeah, it might sound bad, but if your GF or BF changes drastically in appearance, it would be a turn-off for most people. They say men are the visual creatures and that women don’t care as much in that department….yeah, right, that’s why all the romance novels have Jon Lovitz on the cover… Personally, if my husband is in Al Bundy mode, it’s because he’s totally bothered/wrapped up with something at work, and thinking that I’m being “mean” to him (during these times, I don’t think that my behaviour changes, but that when he’s stressed he tends to feel everyone is ganging up on him). So, maybe the answer is more self-preservation/care: Don’t burn the candle at both ends (pedicures help too…maybe not so much for you, though… :) )

SS
5 years 2 months ago

@Madamoiselle L…..remember, most couples start off at 2-3 x a week, pre-kids, and drop off from there! I knew someone who, in all seriousness (and bitchiness) told her husband the rule was “no sex for 6 months after the baby,” and she went on to say that after that period they had sex “once a month whether he needed it or not, ha ha.” So you wonder why men get all freaked out about the post-baby sex drought…I think you guys only experienced a day or two without rain, so to speak!

val
5 years 2 months ago

it is important for married couples to be aware of thier sexual appetite towards each other. if the attraction and desire starts to deminish, be creative and innovative in ways of doing it. You might be surprised to find exciting moves that will excite your partner and yourself.

Madamoiselle L
5 years 2 months ago

I mean “initiate it” not “innate it”

Damn Spell Check.

Madamoiselle L
5 years 2 months ago

Johnny, I think it was a good thing you and this woman found out it wouldn’t work out before you got married. Again, the “Test Drive” thing comes into play.

Like SS said, yes, when you have small children, sex is not the first priority, at least for most mothers. But, the way My Man and I looked at it (after I explained it to him LOL!) was, “The babies NEED Mama, Mama only has so much energy. Papa may *want* Mama, too, but he’s an adult and can wait until Mama regains some of her autonomy and her energy. Baby, Mama and Papa will all be better off if we act like adults. (except Baby, who is not an adult, is all ID and only is able to act like a baby.)” OK. That worked for us. I’m not going to say My Man was thrilled at the time, when our sex life dropped off to 2 or 3 times a week when the kids were really small, but it got back on track when the kids got older…..then we had an other one…..then when she got older, it got better again.

I think he finally realized “The energy, power and dedication she is putting into these children will come back my way 10 fold when the kids are older. I know now she is capable of such deep dedication and hard work to an other person. And because I didn’t bitch and moan, (too much) and have learned to appreciate the work she did to make our children happy babies who then could grow into independent kids. The love and tenderness she gave to them is something I can see, and I know I get that same stuff, but only different and in a lot of ways, better.”

The way I see it, you can raise your kids when they are YOUNG, do it right, do it ONCE, and then they take over for themselves. OR one can be selfish and NOT raise the kids properly when they are young, let strangers do it, take short cuts, put yourself first etc and then one can spend the REST of one’s life taking care of adults who never learned to Trust, Love and Appreciate others. A mother can do the work when the kids are young (and Papa can help, and not moan about his lack of thrice daily sex) OR they can all pay for her lack of hard work for the rest of their lives, as her children will do as well. The sex will get better and more frequent, as long as the man understands WHY Baby needs her more at the time. (Of course, Mama needs to realize that she will need to step up to the place again in full form when the baby is a little older. There’s no resting on your laurels when you are a mother and wife. It’s hard work EVERY DAY.)

Our situation has little to do with luck. We worked REALLY HARD to keep this going. We know we love each other more than anything. We both take care of ourselves and each other. I go out of my way to try to still look good, he tries to take care of himself. It’s WORK, but not a chore. There’s a difference, WORK is something you don’t mind doing, because you know the outcome will be good. A chore are……obligation and eventually resentment. We try to keep “chores” out of the bedroom.

I don’t know how unique we are, but I know we WORK very hard to keep our relationship fresh and alive. I don’t nag, and I rarely say “no” to sex, and often innate it, and he remembers I need things like compliments and flowers and candy….and cuddling afterward.

Little things like this sound silly, but they show you are THINKING about the person you are living with, sleeping with, raising kids with, cleaning up with, grocery shopping with, fighting with, fucking, loving, screaming at, and working beside to make your lives not just livable, but enjoyable, sensual and as happy as is humanly possible as often as humanly possible.

That’s all I know about that.

:)