Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Do guys expect women to orgasm during intercourse? Do they feel like failures if it doesn’t happen during intercourse or if they get the orgasm by some other non-intercourse means? Or do they assume it’s the woman’s “problem”?“
Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): In my extremely limited experience with women and intercourse (yes, there was that one time), I certainly did not expect her to orgasm. That would have been like winning the lottery: amazing but unlikely. While I didn’t feel like a failure when she didn’t orgasm — I would probably start to feel bad if it turned into more of a regular thing. However, if she orgasms she orgasms, whatever the method — it wouldn’t have to be through intercourse. I wouldn’t assume it’s the woman’s problem, but I wouldn’t consider it entirely due to my lack of love-making skillz either. From what I hear, getting women to climax is way more complicated and intricate than it is for a man — another bonus to being gay! We’re easy!
Straight Single Guy (Chris): I don’t know a single guy that expects a woman to orgasm regularly during intercourse. I am certainly more than happy to try my best before, during, and after in order to cause one or several orgasms during the course of the night. I will admit that I have been with a small handful of girls (2) who have had extreme difficulties climaxing under any circumstances, and I find it very frustrating. Of course I try harder, and of course they feel worse, and of course it doesn’t fix anything. I don’t have a solution for that. Otherwise, relax and enjoy yourselves and something will happen.
Straight Married Guy (David): Expect it? We demand it! And if for some strange reason it doesn’t happen we’re devastated, and frequently fall into a deep depression — for at least three minutes, until we fall fast asleep. If however our wife/girlfriend/lover/secretary/boss/local barista finds a way to arrive by some other means — bless her resourcefulness! — we’ll sleep slightly sounder.
Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is David Jacobs, a NYC-based photographer; our Straight Single Guy is Chris DiClerico; and our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross of Boerum Hill Blog. To ask the guys your own question, click here.