Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Is the FFM threeway really the holy grail for straight guys? If so, why? And if it’s not, why do so many people assume it is?”
Gay Single Guy (Angelo Nikolopoulos): Here, the gay man’s experience proves to be particularly insightful. Left to our own devices, gay men will faithfully prove the old adage: more is merrier (albeit messier). Perhaps it’s our natural inclination toward group sports, our desire to test the boundaries of teamwork and nimbleness, becoming a three-pronged hub of collective effort and pleasure. Or maybe we’re just insatiable beasts. Either way, if straight men are anything like gay men, having sex with you and your yoga instructor, Amber, is not the holy grail for straight guys. Incorporating your entire women’s softball team into the bedroom, on the other hand, would be.
Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): I think it just ties a lot of stereotypical male fantasies together: voyeurism, variety, the possibly mistaken impression that women just automatically know better how to give each other orgasms (which guys generally really want but aren’t always sure how to give). There are also the fantasies of polygamy, of enabling promiscuity (a girlfriend might not mind you sleeping around if she’s right there with you doing it). And there’s also the not-quite-laughable fantasy that the average man can satisfy two (or more) women, at the same time, all by himself.
In my only real, all-the-way threeway I joined a woman I had a desperate crush on and together we gave her partner an extremely good time. But after that we fulfilled my favorite holy grail: one-on-one sex ’til dawn with an experienced, very enthusiastic partner that I really, really like. Based on that experience, I think threeways are perfectly lovely. But they’re more of an “everyone should visit Paris” sort of milestone than a holy grail. Put it this way: I don’t think as many people lose as much sleep wishing they could have a second threeway as they do wishing they could have their first.
Straight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): Omg yes! Kings and rockstars have been doing it since the beginning of time because it’s divine. It’s rare and it doubles your pleasure, but beyond that I’m not sure exactly why it’s so desirable. Maybe it fulfills some deep primal validation of being the leader of the pack — in primate societies, the chief ape acquires a harem by nature of his supremacy, so maybe we have a little of that. Most guys have tried for years to make it happen, but not everyone can. So if you ever do, you’ll get a lasting memory and exalted status among your (male) friends.