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Tell Us About Your Sex Life and Win a Free Kissa Toy!

Thu, Jul 8, 2010

Pop Culture

photo by love janine

Don’t think of it as bribery… think of it as a thank you gift for sharing. We’re working on an article for a mainstream (very respectable!) magazine about couples’ sex lives, and we want to talk to you. The idea of the piece is, most of us have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. We want to bust the myth that there is such a thing as an “average” or “normal” sex life — or an “average” or “normal” couple, for that matter. For example, do you look like a soccer mom but like to vacation at nudist resorts? Are you an upstanding member of your community who just happens to practice Tantric sex? Are you a buttoned-up office worker who likes to dress up for sex? Are you a mom (or dad) of three who still likes to make sex tapes?

This isn’t an article about sexual extremists — and we have no intention of painting you that way — but rather a way to celebrate couples who have avoided that dreaded sexual rut. Your stories will inspire all the couples out there who have succumbed to the rut.

We’re looking to interview couples from all over the country. And just by writing to introduce yourself to us, you’ll be entered into a contest to win one of 10 Kissas — a vibrating glass toy that’s non-porous, phthalate-free and hypoallergenic — from EdenFantasys.com! Send us an email at¬†emlo A T emandlo D O T com or contact us using this form.¬†We promise we will NOT release any of your information to anyone without discussing the piece with you further and getting your subsequent approval. Looking forward to hearing from you! And please, spread the word.


29 Responses to “Tell Us About Your Sex Life and Win a Free Kissa Toy!”

  1. S Says:

    Sadly, that would be the quickest free toy ever! Done.

  2. CI Says:

    Hi Em and Lo!

    Well I am a 25 year old woman who has been dating a 40 year old man for about 7 months. I have never dated anyone more than 5 years older than me, or have had a sexual experience with. The first time we had sex blew my mind! I had sensations I’ve never felt before, made noises I’ve never made before (LOL!) and actually orgasmed. What I like about my guy is that we are on the same level sexually. I didn’t know how it would be sexually with an older guy because I have a high libido. But he is my perfect match because he knows how to please me so that I am really satisfied. He has taught me things about my body as well as I’ve learned more of what he likes too. We go to sleep most nights with sex and start our days off with it too. Dating an older guy has been an interesting and freeing experience, and I look forward to more of it with him.

  3. Em & Lo Says:

    Hi CI! We’d love to talk to you more (and also to enter you into our toy contest!) but you left no contact info. Could you email us at emlo@emandlo.com so we can follow up? Mwah!

  4. LoAnn Says:

    I’m a 52 yr old woman married 5 yrs to a 54 yr old man. I’ve had a few relationships before my husband, but never felt I could be entirely myself and explore my desires. It’s different with my husband, who actually encourages me to “fly my freak flag”. I think the fact that my husband travels extensively and we’re apart several nights a month goes a long way to keeping our marriage and our sex life fresh and exciting. Now and then I join my husband on his travels and enjoy red hot hotel sex, which I have to tell ya, is even more uninhibited than our at-home sex.
    It’s like having a license to go wild!

    There’s something so wonderfully liberating about being in my 50′s, with no fears of unwanted pregnancy, secure in who I am, loved by and loving someone who actually encourages me to relax
    and enjoy lovemaking, including saying exactly what I want and need. Life and lovemaking are GOOD!

  5. E Says:

    This is so perfect for my wife and I. We are Midwesterners, married over 11 years, 3 kiddos. Great sex, if only once a week, sometimes twice. I own an marketing firm, she is a SAHM who works for me two days a week part time.

    As I type this, I am preparing to tell my staff to leave early for the weekend. At that point my wife will likely lock the main door to our building, come into my office and we will “role play the naughty secretary/boss scenario. At least this is what we planned on the car ride into the office this morning! ; )

  6. Leslie Says:

    I was in a repressed, almost sexless marriage for 23 years. I am now with a man who will talk with me about ANYTHING concerning sex and when we are not actually having the best sex I have ever had. Nothing is off limits as long as we are both up for it. I get as much sex as often as I want now. Best of all, I LOVE him.

  7. Roshani Says:

    Hi, I’m 19 I’ve just started my sex life with my fiance. He is my first and my only. I’ve had many realationships but I decided to lose my virginty to man that is worth while and make an impact in my life. I know alot off people have had horror stories about their first time but I had an amazing time. It took me awhile to adjust to haveing sex but we both learned what worked for my body and I thank him for being so patient and loveing. I think the reason why I did have an amazing time is because I have an amazing loving partner. The funny thing is the first time I ended up having sex was on my birthday and both orgasmed at the same time it something out of a movie. He did not pressure me at all. I came to him and decided to give up my virginity to him. We have amazing sex because we connect and have an open lines of communication. He lets me know what he likes and I let him know what I like. Alought sex can enjoyable it should not be taken lightly. I live on campus and I hear horror stories being safe is extremly important and more people should be educated. My fiancee and I are in a monogomus realtionship and trusting realtionship and it makes the sex more intamite. I jump on him anytime I can get. Its great were both open to trying out new things sometimes they don’s quite workout other time its amazing. I guess its joys of being young and in love.

  8. kara Says:

    I’m a 34-year old former-Single Mother By Choice, professional in a small county government-run mental health agency; my fianc√© is an IT specialist for a political research group. I elected to conceive at the age of 23, because I felt the swimming pool of eligible partners was a virtual bird bath. Five years after my son was born, a friend challenged me to sign up for a dating site. Cynically, with the intent to prove to my friend there was no one ‘out there’ for me,I was *completely* honest about myself (weight, bad habits, annoying personality issues, baggage…). After just 3 weeks on the site, I met my future husband. I live in California, he lives in Washington D.C. We’ve been in a relationship for 2 years, but only “together” for about a month. We talk every day via Skype and instant message. He loves my son as his own. We liken our non-traditional relationship to one of military couples.

    We had been corresponding for 3 months when he flew out to meet me, and the sex was incredible (of course, we’d both been celibate for the previous 5 years). I am a very open-minded woman with intense non-traditional interests; he’s open to new ideas, but nervous about some of the things I request, mostly related to BD/SM. Since most of our relationship happens online and by phone, we do a lot of dirty talk, exploratory fantasy and role play to stimulate each other. When we finally do get together after, the sex is amazing. The fantasies and the desire inspire sensual and passionate lovemaking on one hand, as well as frivolous, rough, nasty sex on the other.
    Our sex life is one of honest, open exploration because we took the time to get to know one another through intellectual and emotional intercourse before we even met, and take that exploration even further when we can’t meet.

  9. MissPtunia Says:

    Hi there. I am a 54 year old woman, sex toy reviewer and sex blogger (among the dozens of other hats I wear) and am very happily married to my 54 year old husband for almost 29 years now. Yep..29 years. Our sex life together? Incredible. It started out in our 20′s like many do…hot, fast and intense. The years rolled by, the kids came and went, and things simmered down some naturally. But that is not to say that things were not good because they still were and still are…just different now but also immensely better now. The sex is not quite as often now as when we were in our mid-twenties, but still several times a week at least. The sex is not as intense in it’s selfishness as is the case with many younger participants but is now a lot more about making sure the other gets what they need and want as well as getting what I also need and want. And that need is not just to reach orgasm. As we get older, we have both come to realize that there are MANY layers to sexual satisfaction, going WAY beyond and over orgasm alone. Sex for us is about communicating to each other in new ways, experimenting more, stretching our mutual boundaries and limitations, exploring our fantasies in ways we never could when we still had kids living at home. And as strange as it sounds, sex now, as opposed to when we first got started together 29 years ago, is on a new and exciting level, reaching beyond the mere physical and allowing us to connect to each other in a different way. Perhaps that is because we have been together for so long and can read each other almost instantly…or perhaps it is because we have practiced this over and over in an attempt to not become one of those couples who at a certain age realize they don’t have a sex life anymore…and worse, don’t care. With no kids at home, no worries about birth control and the beauty of reaching a certain age where you feel liberated and free to say what the heck you want, life in general, and sex specifically, has gotten better, for both of us. My husband and I are living proof, to our grown children, our friends and anyone else, that getting older CAN be a good and beautiful thing, that you CAN have an active and fulfilling sex life…like anything else, you just have to want it bad enough to work for and towards that goal. Thanks for letting me speak my mind since I do get a little “pissy” when people say getting older is bad, a death sentence or that it means the end of an active and happy sex life…’cause it doesn’t. Thanks again.

  10. Vanessa Says:

    Well, I am a mother of 3 small girls and I stay at home with them while my hubby works so that tells you how exhausted we both are at night. When we get the kids in bed that tiredness goes out the window, I buy lingerie from Fredericks and he never knows what to expect when he steps out of the shower. I like to spice things up and buy different massage oils and personal lubricants and he buys the toys. I am a very conservative, worry about what people think type of person and people always told me that once you got married that regular sex stopped but that is definitely not the case.

  11. Annette Says:

    My husband and I have just celebrated our 10 year anniversary.He is 36 and I am 43. We had fallen in to a pretty dull, sexless routine. After many heated discussions and talks of divorce we decided to make some changes and they have worked wonders! We are now the happiest we have ever been. We no longer argue and we have the best sex of our lives!
    Basically, when we are together, if one of us thinks about sex in any way, we have to have sex, no matter where we are. If we are at a restaurant having dinner and need to have a quickie in the restroom, then we do it. If we are at home having guests over and we need to discreetly go upstairs for a few minutes, we do it. You never know when you will be sent to “the penalty box” as my husband calls it. It is so exciting wondering when or where it’s going to happen next! It keeps us in an almost constant state of arousal, and it keeps us too busy, and too happy to argue. We have had numerous people comment that we act like totally different people now!

  12. PJ Says:

    WOW where to begin.. im a 37 year old divorcee rebounding from drama with my ex. during our relationship, he unfortunately engaged in violating every level of trust in our relationship and was so masterfully manipulative that he made me question my own sexuality and womanhood; prior to him i had a healthy view of myself and sexuality but I allowed him to destroy that to the point that i regretfully was not being fulfilled and never thought that sex would be exciting again. Since our divorce i have started seeing another man, and WOW what a different outlook on life! By far he has allowed me to regain my confidence and assertiveness sexually in that he has taught me how to get what i want sexually as well as satisfying his needs. Our connection is unlike anything else that I have ever expericed and have been taken to no levels of sexual gratification. we both get excited in talking about experiencing our fantasies and making each other satisfied. He is vested in fulfilling my needs in every way and loves to remind me that what we share is because of a connection on another level. My attitude and demeanor are different not just from being happy but the confidence and satisfaction that i now have opened up to me like this. I find myself open to so many things that i would have never thought of before..massage, music, incense, clothing, positions, toys… if I like it and Im curious.. I wanna try it!

  13. nikki Says:

    I am a 30 yr.female with a 8 month old baby and the babys farther left me soon after the baby was born so i need a sex life.

  14. Val Says:

    Hello, I am a 31 year mom of 3 in which my youngest will be one this August. As far a a sex life, I have a get it when you can because my husband and I have been through so much because our 11 month old had opeb heart surgery at three weeks old and after that its been just a quickie here and there because we are always on the go with our son who is 8 and our daughter who is 4, we are to tired to have pillow talk, foreplay, etc… We used to take long showers together and go right into our moment, but now its you go first and then I will take my shower next and off to bed we go. I really do not know what having an orgasm is like anymore from foreplay or just having to say we made love and enjoyed every minute of it. We are in so need of some tlc and sex, I am stressed I do not even feel sexy enough to want to have sex… Help

  15. liz Says:

    Married with 4 Children and 1 Grandchild. I am 49 Years old. Sex with my lover of 4 years has been the best ever. We Explore, we share, watch porn together, we pleasure each other!! The sky is the limit. Who says sex is for the young ones. We have had sex 5-7 times in one day. Every week. And never a dull moment. WOW, WOW WOW Don’t be afraid to explore. Ask and you will be surprised what answer you will get! HOT WOW

  16. Lee Says:

    Hi I’m married mom of 2 and have the most amazing sex life… I am 36 and have always had a high sex drive… I love sex all kinds… oral, anal, regular… I love to give my husband oral…I love it! It is such a turn on! We go to strip clubs, watch porn, and take pictures of ourselves. Anything to keep it exciting and fresh…. We explore every inch of ourselves… We even had a girlfriend join in once…and hopefully again!

  17. J Says:

    Hi! Married mom of 2. My husband (35) and I (43) are apart most of the time, but have an incredible sex life regardless. He writes me sexy letters, and we participate in phone sex and skype if tech issues allow. When we are together we enjoy the addition of toys. It took some time to get me to let go of the idea that “Good girls don’t do that”. But now it’s all on the play list!

  18. B. Thomas Says:

    I am a 50 year old female and have been with my current lover since last September. We have the most intensive sex that I’ve ever experienced. While I’m on top I can have up to 20 or more vaginal orgasms. I’ve also squirted a few times. These responses are all new to me, they have never occurred with any other lover. He can hold out for an incredible amount of time…up to 40 minutes. We have sex everyday, sometimes up to 8 times a day. I’ll be really sorry if this one (boyfriend) gets away.

  19. Rachell Says:

    I am 46 and my partner of 7 years is 45. We met at a time I was coming into my own sexually as a woman. He has always had an inquisitive nature sexually but never had a partner that felt the same. When our relationship began we talked openly and in detail about our past sexual experiences along with what intrigued us and how those experiences affected us both good and bad. For both of us nothing is really taboo. We explore situations, thoughts, toys, encounters and imagination in a way to bring new and exciting possibilities into our sex life. Sex is better now that it ever fathomed to be when we were younger. As you grow older you learn what pleasures you physically and what stimulates your mind, which we both find is our most vital sex organ.

    Our sex life has gone through several transitions over the years. For a long time we lived long distance, outside of the few times a year we could see each other, phone sex was our only way to share intimacy. We had to be creative to be fulling alone but together. Conversation, pornography, erotica, phone sex with others helped to be our toys for sexual play. Still today, we venture to those areas for new and exciting arousal. Endlessly we have taken our minds to situations/fetishes that enhance our libido. We both know and understand our limits, yet it’s pushing those limits that is one of our greatest turn ons.

    Definitely the sex we share is always hot and ever changing. We understand when there is a need for just pure hot raw sex, love making and when we need to “use” the other just to get off by being selfish and doing to the other what we need. Even during our intimacy, we go in and out of a variety of physical pleasures that come naturally.
    It’s about understanding who you are, what you need sexually for yourself, from your partner, and for your partner, then talking about those needs uninhibited. We both know sex can be gratifying from all angles and it doesn’t have to be shameful, exploitive or dangerous to be pleasurable.
    Our greatest regret sexually….that we didn’t have the opportunity to meet years ago in our 20s and go through the different seasons of our sexual needs for a lifetime together. We don’t regret that we were sexual with others previously because it has enhanced what we like and what we may not like about sex. There needs to be some type of attraction to your partner to have a connection, to be so intimate. Sex is not everything in our relationship, but it is a vibrant and important part of who we are as individuals and as a couple. It’s very important we nourish and work at keeping it exciting and pleasurable.

  20. Rachell Says:

    Also….the best sex we have…..is when we are in total lust for the other emotionally and physically because we like the person we see in front of us and we just need to be one with them. It’s open, honest and real.

  21. i. Says:

    My boyfriend and I just celebrated our one-year anniversary last week. :)
    Before him, I had only sexually been with one other man – who I am sad to say, was not very good in bed. When I say that he wasn’t good – I mean that in the beginning he had problems getting “it” up, and later when it worked, he was a selfish lover who was only concerned with his own finish. Needless to say, the only orgasm I ever experienced was with my rabbit ;)
    My boyfriend and I try to have sex at least once a day – sometimes more. And I almost always achieve an orgasm with him.
    He makes me feel so comfortable with my body – and though it is far from perfect, I always feel beautiful when I’m naked with him. He puts my sexual satisfaction before his own, and our mutual desire to satiate one another makes for amazing sex every single time.

  22. petunia Says:

    I am not sure if this is way too late but I am a teacher in my early thirties. I had dated I don’t know how many losers before meeting my current dream guy boyfriend on craigslist of all places. Neither one of us are your typical strange craigslisters so it is funny that I responded to his ad…something I had only done once before.

    Our challenge is that he works nights four nights a week and I am very much a days person. We have managed to explore different times of day to make things happen and keep the sparks sparking. We really love morning sex and turning in early on the weekends to ensure I am awake and ready when he is. This was discovered after figuring out that I start losing my energy after midnight…just when he is waking up. We have figured out that we both love make this time last for hours. We make sure that we make up for the week’s gap in together time by having a few more than just one roll in the hay. It is great to look forward to and try out new positions and things we have been thinking about throughout the week. It also builds anticipation.

  23. deandouglas Says:

    I have excellent sex with my husband hes always up for whatever I have in mind. In fact after being married before I am surprised we have sex at all after over twenty years of only being with each other. He knows that I have sex toys and even enjoys watching me use them and likes it when we use them together. He is always encourageing me to try new things even porn on the internet or anything else that makes me happy in bed. He relizes that if I am happy he will be happier too. Just the other night we had the most hottest fuck session imagineable. He got the toys and the oils,lotion and everything you could think of including candles out and surprised me with alittle sex in the most unbeliveable positions. He may be sixtyone years old but he fucks like he is sixteen still.

  24. mike Says:

    me and my gf are both 20 and we have been going out for 2 years. we live together in a flat a small town. my girlfriend and me have a very amazing sex life. we have sex most nights and we like to experiment alot. we like watching porn movies together and have sex in all kinds of places including the bath shower the sofa and the car and we even did a bid in a back of a cinema. we have a couple of toys and equipment we like using like sex harnesses and restraints. I also like watching my girlfriend play with her toys in front of me. at the moment we r going thou a karma sutra book a page every night so we get to try all kinds of sexy positions and when we finish that we will move on to something else exciting.x

  25. Brenda Says:

    Hi. I’m 23 and a mother to two beautiful children. I’ve been with my boyfriend for early 8 years now.. Sex life; where do we find the time. with two little ones and a full time job.. what i find it is always the same thing everytime. i enjoy trying something new where he does; i think some sex toys will help us.

  26. Savannah Bliss Says:

    Well I am a 25 year old woman who has been dating a 40 year old man for about 7 months. I have never dated anyone more than 5 years older than me, or have had a sexual experience with. The first time we had sex blew my mind! I had sensations I’ve never felt before, made noises I’ve never made before (LOL!) and actually orgasmed. What I like about my guy is that we are on the same level sexually. I didn’t know how it would be sexually with an older guy because I have a high libido. But he is my perfect match because he knows how to please me so that I am really satisfied. He has taught me things about my body as well as I’ve learned more of what he likes too. We go to sleep most nights with sex and start our days off with it too. Dating an older guy has been an interesting and freeing experience, and I look forward to more of it with him.

  27. sex Says:

    my sex life is boring thats why im looking for free sex toys no guy can make me cum like a sex toy sadly my man stoll mine and wont give it back

  28. Duane Richardson Says:

    This will be quite entertaining because I certainly enjoy bragging about it! I am 52 years of age and my dear partner Cyndi is 43 years of age, we met in 2001 at a party that my band had a gig for. At the time I was seriously looking to break up with my current lady friend who just happened to be Cyndi’s roommate! Well, after a few quick trysts in the back seat of her car, we decided to give a relationship a serious try and I spent many an extended weekend in her bed. We were an adventerous pair, always trying out new positions, new locations, costumes, toys and roleplay. Even at my age, I never need any type of outside help such as viagra, because our love, lust and passion is aphrodisiac enough. We have tried many exciting things and as long as my back holds out, we’ll try as many positions my joints can handle! How many positions are there in the Kama Sutra again?

  29. rebekah fortson Says:

    Im a single mom im 37 an i take care of my family an dont have much time to have a sex life the last time i had sex was 10¬Ĺ years ago .an i would love a sex toy to enjoy some pleasure

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