Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
My husband has been gone getting ready to deploy for Afghanistan and there have been some issues with us thinking about the other cheating. We both trust each other more than anything and know that neither one of us would do that, but the other night I was the one to have an intense dream about cheating:
I was at a hotel with my sister and she walked over to a group of good looking young people. While she was conversing, one of the young men came up and sat next to me and started talking like he knew me. The next thing I knew he was touching me and trying to kiss me. I never kissed him but his touch was very erotic to me, and it made me want to go all the way. He took off my clothes and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to or not. He was on top of me and I kept thinking about how my husband would feel and how I would feel if he was doing this. Before he went all the way I checked my phone and it wasn’t working. Then I woke up.
What could this mean because I really don’t think I would ever take a chance like that even if it came to me?
Lauri: First of all, please thank your husband for his service. He’s very brave and his efforts are very much appreciated! Second, don’t worry. Yes, cheating dreams – no matter who is the culprit in the dream – are always unnerving. But rest assured it rarely means an actual affair is going on OR that you are hankerin’ for a hunk of “strange,” as they say on Two and A Half Men! What it does mean is that a very common issue is causing a very common dream. One of the most common reasons we get a cheating dream is when there is a physical separation between the couple. When one of the spouses travels a lot, when you are in a long distance relationship, even when you sleep in separate bedrooms, the cheating dream will raise its ugly head. Why? Because of the separation, whether it’s distance or circumstances, the inner mind feels “cheated” out of its time with your mate.
Yes, that underlying worry that one of you may get lonesome enough to cheat certainly does play into the dream, but there is always more to a dream than what it seems so let’s look at some of the specifics of yours. The hotel is a temporary place of residence so that means, deep down, you know your separation from hubby is a temporary place to be in life. The man in your dream is talking to you like he knows you because you two are indeed familiar with each other. He is a part of you! He’s your inner male, the part of you that can man up when you need to, be assertive, independent, etc. You must have had to put your male energy to use some time before in life, and now it seems you are going to need to utilize it again so that old familiar male part of you is back and ready to get busy with you! With hubby away, you’ll be taking on more so-called male roles. If you have kids, you’ll have to play Mom and Dad for a while. When something in the house breaks, you’ll have to fix it. You’ll have to manage the bills and squash the spiders and so on. Your dream is telling you it’s time to unite those old familiar male qualities into your life now, just as you would accept a man into your body.
What is also interesting is where the dream ends… the phone not working. That’s a good indication that there is a lack of communication somewhere. Have you not communicated all your thoughts and concerns to your husband? Or do you feel there are certain things he may not be communicating to you? Be sure to get it all out and on the table before he leaves so that nothing is left hanging and you two can have peace of mind… or at least as much as you can have in this crazy world right now.