Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks,”What do guys think of the ‘women come first’ expectation in bed? Embrace it? Hate it? And why?“
Gay Single Guy (Jay Dyckman): We think itâ€™s great â€“ especially when there are no women in bed! Kidding aside, does every woman have that expectation?Â I doubt it.Â I would think the expectation would be more like â€śThis is not a one-way street and I expect to have a good time too.â€ťÂ Come first, second, hell even third, it doesnâ€™t matter so long as sex is still a fun and enjoyable experience.Â Anyone who comes and goes can just keep going. Right out the door. And hopefully off a cliff.
Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): I propose a new standard of expectation where not only does the woman come first, but comes second and third and fourth… A guy should be prioritizedÂ in bed too, but often times if he comes first then the girl most likely doesn’t come back! Coming together for the greater good is, of course, ideal, but that’s only achieved by the rare few with impeccable timing.
Straight Married Guy (David Felsen): When I was in college, a woman hurled abuse at me when I held a door open for her. She told me I was repressing her. Did I mention she went to Bryn Mawr? Is it fair to say then that letting a woman go or come first in bed is sexist? Of course not, I was just looking for an excuse to tell that Bryn Mawr story. I do think it is only proper for a man to let the lady go first if she so desires, however keep in mind that the moment things get started most men turn into reptiles and all bets are off.
Honorary Wise Guys (Em & Lo): Um, we just had to butt in when none of our above esteemed Wise Guys mentioned the following: Women can stay aroused for a while after an orgasm (unlike most men), which is what allows some of them to have multiple orgasms. Also, the engorgement of the entire clitoris (which extends throughout the genital region, including around the vaginal opening) that results from orgasm can often make intercourse more pleasurable for her. So for these reasons, we think “Women come first” is a good policy to embrace, at least more often than not.
Our â€świse guysâ€ť are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is NY writer-comedian David Felsen; our Gay Guy is Jay Dyckman, an LA copywriter; and our Single Straight Guy is Tyler Barnett of Tyler Barnett PR in LA. To ask the guys your own question, click here. To ask the guys your own question, click here.