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Confession: I’m a Female Ejaculator

Thu, Sep 30, 2010

Confessions, Personal Post

photo of Old Faithful by Chuck Martin

A college-student contributor friend of ours, who wishes to remain anonymous, has a confession to make:

I was sixteen when I first started masturbating. I may have been something of a latecomer to the game, but what I lacked in experience I soon made up in frequent practice. This. Was. Awesome. For about three weeks, I took advantage of any free moments and stole away for some vigorous and exploratory self-loving. I was a quick learner and all was going well — really, really well — until one afternoon, after a mind-bogglingly powerful orgasm, when I quickly realized I was lying in some very wet sheets. Not the kind of sweat-damp sheets you get after a particularly fervent session, but sheets soaked to the mattress in a foot-wide splotch radiating directly from between my legs.

I had peed. I was sure of it. I had masturbated until I had broken my lady-bits and was suffering from sort of sex-crazed incontinence. I immediately solemnly swore to steer clear of my new favorite activity for all eternity.

A few months later, I was watching a late-night rerun of “Talk Sex with Sue,” and my favorite grandmotherly sex-advice-spouting firecracker took a question from a woman in my very situation. “That’s me!” I thought. Another sex-crazed incontinent! Immediately, Sue assuaged this woman’s (and my own) panic, explaining the phenomenon of female ejaculation. I mentally reviewed my rather wet episode: It did not look like pee. It did not smell like pee. Had I ejaculated?

So commenced round two of frequent masturbatory exploration, this time in the bathtub on Sue’s advice. I discovered that, to my delight, I had not somehow rewired my urinary response. No! When stimulated in just the right way, in just the right spot, I was a squirter, that mythic being of over-the-top porn and bad erotica.

I was, initially, torn. I was beyond relieved that I was not a masturbatorily damaged freak, and a little amused by the fact that I could impersonate a geyser, not to mention thrilled that it felt so damn good. But at the same time, I felt fairly certain this meant I would never be able to have partnered sex, that any future partner would be repulsed by my anomalous anatomy.

In the years since, I’ve reached a level of comfort and pride with regards to my ejaculatory abilities for a number of reasons. First, the accompanying sensation of release is wonderful. Also, in a world where facials are par for the course and come-shots punctuate every porno, it feels really hot to be able to upset gender roles and come all over my partner. The added lubrication’s not so bad either. Thankfully, none of my sexual partners have been grossed out like I was worried they’d be (and if they had been, I wouldn’t have wanted to bed them anyway). Across the board their reaction has been amusement and arousal and interest. Still, I have a lot of anxiety around communicating this particular skill set to new partners.

There are a number of reasons I feel compelled to clam up about my, well, spitting clam. First off, I’m always a little confused by the timing of the conversation. If I wait to mention that I ejaculate until after it happens, there is a high likelihood he’ll think I peed on him, an assumption I’d really love to avoid. If I say it too early and it doesn’t happen, which it often doesn’t, I’m worried he’ll be disappointed or feel like a sexual failure, which is simply not the case. My biggest problem, though, is that I LOATHE the term “squirting,” which kind of leaves me at a loss for what to say when I do feel comfortable bringing it up. Squirt, squirter, squirting. There is nothing sexy about the way those roll (or trip) off the tongue. “I’m gonna squirt!” sounds more like a warning of an impending water-gun attack than a sexy mid-romp exclamation. I have similar issues with the other offered alternatives. “Gushing” conjures an image of those waxy, fluid-filled lunchbox snacks so popular among ’90s elementary schoolers. “Baby, sometimes I ejaculate” can have the same inherent sex appeal as “Oh, yeah, insert your erect penis into my vaginal canal.” I call for a new term. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

For now, I settle for an early “Baby, sometimes I ejaculate” whispered in the most seductive tone I can muster — to mitigate the clinical blow of the word, push through the anxiety, and let myself go with the flow. Quite literally.

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12 Responses to “Confession: I’m a Female Ejaculator”

  1. Mr. L Says:

    Well I have heard it called femjack before if that helps any ? The same thread I learned this on, boggled my mind. You see I actually have had the pleasure of having a lover that jacks! This person told me that once she learned how to do it she couldn’t orgasm without it. Fast forward to years later when reading above mentioned thread. One person noted that she doesn’t always orgasm, sometimes just wets… can’t think of what to use besides squirts. This really baffled me. I knew the “spots” you stimulate were different and the technique was different, but I was flabberghasted. Then one girl chimes in and says.. yes that happens to me too and … AND… sometimes it gets annoying because she wants to climax and she can’t, cause she just jacks! Can anyone add to this ? Like I have been there AND I know how to get on past it, or any other variation on the theme, including comments from our mentors on how the two are related or not related ?

    PS Its a gift Girl! no matter what you call it. I would say in the same breathless tone to your lover “I have something special for you” “it doesn’t always happen, but sometimes I …. “

  2. Dave W Says:

    From the thesaurus: spritz, spurt?

  3. nick Says:

    during early foreplay “just so you know, i tend to get wetter than normal when i’m really enjoying myself.”

  4. greg Says:

    How about “It’s not a squirt gun in my pussy,I am happy to see you” Consider yourself very fortunate, it may not seem so now, but as you get older and are with more mature lovers it will be appreciated for what it is, a wonderful benefit. I would have loved to be with a lady who did this, I have never been so fortunate, enjoy it.

  5. k10 Says:

    We use “spewie” as non-gendered term for “come” mine or his! I’ve never had an issue with it.

  6. Cassidy Says:

    I have to say, I like the term squirt. There is a moaning way I say it that my husband goes crazy for. I am kind of proud that I can do it. Never embarrassed because I look at it as a natural thing, like a gift and some of the women we have been with love it too and want to learn how. I am young, but married and I didn’t know I could squirt until my husband taught me. I am a very sexual person and am interested in new things. I have always had an urge where I was afraid I was going to pee, after some research, relaxation and a waterproof mattress cover, I can and do saturate everything. Now I am to the point where at times I don’t even have to be touched and I’ll squirt. On more than one occasion I have come in my panties when I am really aroused and being teased. Anyone else? One thing I have been trying to understand is why sometimes do I gush and other times ejaculate in a three foot stream? Sometimes I can control it with my muscles, but many times I can’t. Anyone have any thoughts? How common is female ejaculation and why don’t people talk more about it? I really love that I can do this, but I just want to learn about others experiences and I can’t find much out there.

  7. joewad Says:

    Consider yourself blessed as I know I am. My lover of several years now ejaculates. She told me it first started after the birth of her son. She to, was quite uneasy, when we first started our relationship. But we tallked about it first, before she ejactulated with me. Talking about it forst was quite a turn on for me. I’ll bet your partner(s) will find it the same. If not, maybe they should not be considered worthy of your beautiful gift to them. Me and my love call it “milking”, feel free to use it yourself. We started slowly at first but now make it part of all our love making. Sometimes I milk her slowly and gently while she is laying on her back with that come here motion with 2 fingers inserted and sometimes I milk her quite vigourously after pleanty of slow play. When vigorous I find it helpful to press down gently with my other hand around her pubic bone. I might add, during vigourous stimulation she often moans/screams with delight and ususally ejaculates the most. But always work her up to it slowly at first. Sometimes I sit in front of her while she leans against something which is also quite hot to milk her gift out and feel it drain down my arm. Another personal favorite of mine is 69′ing with her and milking her with my 2 fingers while I go down on her. There have been a few times when I had trouble breathing but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Yet another is while I lay on my back, she straddle my chest and then feel her flow on me. And yes, the feelings are unbelievable while making lovHer love dripping of my genitals and down my legs when making love to her say on a table. Again, feel yourself to be blessed and should your partner as well.

  8. Helixbill Says:

    It is really a shame that we don’t know any more about sexual anatomy than we do.

    The fluid comes from the skenes gland and is tasteless, odorless, and fat free! It also helps with lubrication.

    BTW, the clear fluid that men emit before ejaculating comes from the cowpers gland and it is also tasteless, odorless, and fat free.

    It is a turn on to me as a man if a woman can ejaculate. Simple solution to any mess is to fold a towel in half and lay on that.

    Or even better, sit on his face and let him enjoy it!

  9. brad Says:

    To the letter writer, do not be self conscious about this at all! The thought of a woman being able to spray my face when sucking on her lady bits gets me extremely turned on. I pray to god that I meet a woman that can do this some day.

  10. Birmingham Belly Dance Says:

    Ha ha – gotta love ‘“It’s not a squirt gun in my pussy,I am happy to see you”

  11. Cherry Says:

    Hello I would like to talk to some folk who have commented here on this subject., as at aged attractive 57 I am experiencing this phenonemon whereas only previously when I masturbate (clinical word)! Hello and Cheers.

  12. FlirtyForties Says:

    Well, its great to hear this dirty little secret being talked about so openly. As a woman in my forties, who has been cumming since I was 14, but only discovered the “skoosh” last year, thanks to my very able and enthusiastic husbands fingering foreplay, I am delighted to have enabled my full sexual fulfilment to come (pun intended) to the fore! A lot of the time,actually mostly, I skoosh when my husband does a two fingered corkscrew motion in me from behind, and its a different kind of orgasm to a clitoral or penetrative one, but very enjoyable, a real knee trembler! There are plenty of instructive videos on the net, but I suspect that most of the squirting in porn films is just very full bladders for show, the skene gland cant hold a litre of fluid at a time, my amounts vary from a couple of table spoons to about half a tea cup, but that goes a long way, and I can keep cumming for a couple of minutes without stopping, which can be tiring but very enjoyable. We realised immediately what was happening the first time, as we both knew it wasn’t pee, and I was cumming when it happened, 2 plus 2 = a big 4!My husband absolutely loves to make me come, and can achieve a skoosh in well under a minute if im relaxed and standing or lying down, but standing is better. So, good luck to all skooshers, and I wish all women and men could experience this, its sooo sexy!


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