Confession: I'm a Female Ejaculator

photo of Old Faithful by Chuck Martin

A college-student contributor friend of ours, who wishes to remain anonymous, has a confession to make:

I was sixteen when I first started masturbating. I may have been something of a latecomer to the game, but what I lacked in experience I soon made up in frequent practice. This. Was. Awesome. For about three weeks, I took advantage of any free moments and stole away for some vigorous and exploratory self-loving. I was a quick learner and all was going well — really, really well — until one afternoon, after a mind-bogglingly powerful orgasm, when I quickly realized I was lying in some very wet sheets. Not the kind of sweat-damp sheets you get after a particularly fervent session, but sheets soaked to the mattress in a foot-wide splotch radiating directly from between my legs.

I had peed. I was sure of it. I had masturbated until I had broken my lady-bits and was suffering from sort of sex-crazed incontinence. I immediately solemnly swore to steer clear of my new favorite activity for all eternity.

A few months later, I was watching a late-night rerun of “Talk Sex with Sue,” and my favorite grandmotherly sex-advice-spouting firecracker took a question from a woman in my very situation. “That’s me!” I thought. Another sex-crazed incontinent! Immediately, Sue assuaged this woman’s (and my own) panic, explaining the phenomenon of female ejaculation. I mentally reviewed my rather wet episode: It did not look like pee. It did not smell like pee. Had I ejaculated?

So commenced round two of frequent masturbatory exploration, this time in the bathtub on Sue’s advice. I discovered that, to my delight, I had not somehow rewired my urinary response. No! When stimulated in just the right way, in just the right spot, I was a squirter, that mythic being of over-the-top porn and bad erotica.

I was, initially, torn. I was beyond relieved that I was not a masturbatorily damaged freak, and a little amused by the fact that I could impersonate a geyser, not to mention thrilled that it felt so damn good. But at the same time, I felt fairly certain this meant I would never be able to have partnered sex, that any future partner would be repulsed by my anomalous anatomy.

In the years since, I’ve reached a level of comfort and pride with regards to my ejaculatory abilities for a number of reasons. First, the accompanying sensation of release is wonderful. Also, in a world where facials are par for the course and come-shots punctuate every porno, it feels really hot to be able to upset gender roles and come all over my partner. The added lubrication’s not so bad either. Thankfully, none of my sexual partners have been grossed out like I was worried they’d be (and if they had been, I wouldn’t have wanted to bed them anyway). Across the board their reaction has been amusement and arousal and interest. Still, I have a lot of anxiety around communicating this particular skill set to new partners.

There are a number of reasons I feel compelled to clam up about my, well, spitting clam. First off, I’m always a little confused by the timing of the conversation. If I wait to mention that I ejaculate until after it happens, there is a high likelihood he’ll think I peed on him, an assumption I’d really love to avoid. If I say it too early and it doesn’t happen, which it often doesn’t, I’m worried he’ll be disappointed or feel like a sexual failure, which is simply not the case. My biggest problem, though, is that I LOATHE the term “squirting,” which kind of leaves me at a loss for what to say when I do feel comfortable bringing it up. Squirt, squirter, squirting. There is nothing sexy about the way those roll (or trip) off the tongue. “I’m gonna squirt!” sounds more like a warning of an impending water-gun attack than a sexy mid-romp exclamation. I have similar issues with the other offered alternatives. “Gushing” conjures an image of those waxy, fluid-filled lunchbox snacks so popular among ’90s elementary schoolers. “Baby, sometimes I ejaculate” can have the same inherent sex appeal as “Oh, yeah, insert your erect penis into my vaginal canal.” I call for a new term. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

For now, I settle for an early “Baby, sometimes I ejaculate” whispered in the most seductive tone I can muster — to mitigate the clinical blow of the word, push through the anxiety, and let myself go with the flow. Quite literally.


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12 Comments on "Confession: I'm a Female Ejaculator"


FlirtyForties
2 years 1 month ago

Well, its great to hear this dirty little secret being talked about so openly. As a woman in my forties, who has been cumming since I was 14, but only discovered the “skoosh” last year, thanks to my very able and enthusiastic husbands fingering foreplay, I am delighted to have enabled my full sexual fulfilment to come (pun intended) to the fore! A lot of the time,actually mostly, I skoosh when my husband does a two fingered corkscrew motion in me from behind, and its a different kind of orgasm to a clitoral or penetrative one, but very enjoyable, a real knee trembler! There are plenty of instructive videos on the net, but I suspect that most of the squirting in porn films is just very full bladders for show, the skene gland cant hold a litre of fluid at a time, my amounts vary from a couple of table spoons to about half a tea cup, but that goes a long way, and I can keep cumming for a couple of minutes without stopping, which can be tiring but very enjoyable. We realised immediately what was happening the first time, as we both knew it wasn’t pee, and I was cumming when it happened, 2 plus 2 = a big 4!My husband absolutely loves to make me come, and can achieve a skoosh in well under a minute if im relaxed and standing or lying down, but standing is better. So, good luck to all skooshers, and I wish all women and men could experience this, its sooo sexy!

Cherry
2 years 5 months ago

Hello I would like to talk to some folk who have commented here on this subject., as at aged attractive 57 I am experiencing this phenonemon whereas only previously when I masturbate (clinical word)! Hello and Cheers.

4 years 6 months ago

Ha ha – gotta love ‘“It’s not a squirt gun in my pussy,I am happy to see you”

brad
4 years 6 months ago

To the letter writer, do not be self conscious about this at all! The thought of a woman being able to spray my face when sucking on her lady bits gets me extremely turned on. I pray to god that I meet a woman that can do this some day.

Helixbill
4 years 9 months ago

It is really a shame that we don’t know any more about sexual anatomy than we do.

The fluid comes from the skenes gland and is tasteless, odorless, and fat free! It also helps with lubrication.

BTW, the clear fluid that men emit before ejaculating comes from the cowpers gland and it is also tasteless, odorless, and fat free.

It is a turn on to me as a man if a woman can ejaculate. Simple solution to any mess is to fold a towel in half and lay on that.

Or even better, sit on his face and let him enjoy it!