Your Call: How Can I Enjoy Receiving Oral More?

photo by Bogdan Suditu

Dear Em & Lo.

I’m a 48-year-old female and I can’t seem to achieve an orgasm during oral sex. It all seems too intense. However, I don’t have any problems when masturbating. I feel it is like… someone else scratching your feet… it tickles. If I do it myself, it doesn’t tickle. Is there anything I can do so that my man can achieve this wonderful thing for me?

— Don’t Tickle Me Elmo

What should D.T.M.E. do? Share your advice and experience below…


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10 Comments on "Your Call: How Can I Enjoy Receiving Oral More?"


clara box
4 years 9 months ago

iam 65 still enjoy sex but ihas astoke five year ago i have trouble coming .can you give some ansner

Aztrish
4 years 10 months ago

Its simple, guy or girl if you don’t like oral, someone is not doing something right. No really,many many misguided souls are out there thinking they dont like it and its just never been done right.
From not spending any time talking about it, to doing that all to familiar guy thing of going right for your clit like a pitbull, determined to make you cum.lol

Find what you think is missing. Are you a talker? You’re here so I vote yes, lol Try having a conversation about it, looking at each other when you do it, or like even lights out, head on his chest.. and just talk. Also for a woman you feel very very vulnerable when receiveing. Idk what it is, I think its that need to be the one “taking care of things” lol Like you have to accept this gift from him and you have to feel secure enough in the fact that he wants to do it.
Guys, you know what I mean yes? You’ve all had that woman that gives you a couple licks then pops right back up.lol
My guy said to me years ago he didn’t understand why it felt like it did just simply running my hand over his body. Know why? Cuz Im not TOUCHING HIM, IM FEEEELING HIM. I’m doing that for me! I want to do it. When I put my lips around his cock its because I love the way the smooth soft skin feels against my lips and tongue and because Im in awe of being able to feel the cycle of him getting hard.. building and releasing… all with my mouth. haha
Same the other way, The man I love loves to eat my pussy! lol no other way to say it, and I know that he is going to do it, until he wants to stop, maybe when I cum, maybe before, and I am just happy for it.. lol and I cum. Often multiple times and he loves that. lol You have to like doing it, to do it well.
So um what.. oh if there’s no security you will have a hard time letting go. and you want to!trust me! Cumming by your own hand is easy, you’re not scared of your reaction, you are not afraid that you are making you do something you are not fond of.lol Talk to your man, ask him his thoughts on oral sex. If he’s all about it, then honey let the man give you a gift. Its a gift, when I cum with my own hand its much more controlled. When he’s going down on me he’s in control and I just hang on and go for the ride. Its a body shaking, sheet soaking thing, lol I can’t do that to me.lol You sound like you want it, so work on it, its worth it. xox

Dashygurl
4 years 10 months ago

While like one of the responders mentioned it just be oral from the jump, unless you are already feeling it and somewhat moist… Anyway hold his head to let him know where to go, and he can’t just lick around the area, all the places the penis go is where the tongue have to go… Once you get it you will know why its the best thing since sliced bread.
enjoy

4 years 10 months ago

For what it’s worth I’ve had the same problem with enjoying fellatio. It’s supposed to be this holy grail of gratification… and for some people it obviously is… but for others it just isn’t the right sensations in the right places.

That doesn’t mean it’ll never happen — it eventually did for me — but it does mean it’s not the shoe-in it’s made out to be.

One bit of advice for receiving that I think might be cross-purpose is to ask for pace and pressure that’s similar to what works for you when you touch yourself. Which may not be at all what seems obvious to your partner when he’s going down on you. For instance it’s awfully easy to slip one’s tongue under the clitoral hood and just go to town… but that’s not where a lot of women touch themselves and the rough texture of a tongue can be too intense. (I’m not saying that’s what’s happening for you, just giving an example of the difference between what you might do for yourself and what a partner might be doing instead.)

But really, while it’s fine to keep trying it it’s just as fine to decide it’s just not for you and suggest your partner work on ways that do get you off.

Tip: Shewolf68’s suggestion of getting warmed up first with something that reliably works for you (either by you or your partner) before moving to oral is a good one. For anything new, not just receiving cunnilingus or fellatio.

Good luck!

figleaf

Aurra
4 years 11 months ago

Try it with a girl. They’re usually better at it.
Or tell your partner to just stick out their tongue and hold still and then pretty much hump it while you lie on your back. It will take a while though.