for...
Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City and she answers your medical questions here once a week. To ask her your own question, click here.
Dear Dr. Kate,
During intercourse with my partner he stated I need to strengthen my muscles. I guess my grip was weak. I’ve had 3 c- sections in the past; the last was on 10/10/2002. I’ve never had anyone say this to me before. I’ve always had partners who complained about my vaginal walls being tight. Just a little confused.
– Tense
Dear T,
I don’t like that your partners are complaining about ANYTHING about your vagina. “Too weak”? “Too tight”? Imagine how they would react if you gave your assessment of their penis—too skinny, too small, too limp—during sex!
But whether you’ve had children (via vaginal delivery or c-section) or not had children, the elasticity of the pelvic floor muscles which surround the vagina can lessen over time — it’s a natural part of the aging process. The good news is that, like any muscle, they can be strengthened and toned with exercise at any age. The exercises specific to the pelvic floor muscles are called Kegel exercises, and there’s great step-by-step instructions here. There are also safe toys you can use to help you with these exercises, like Smartballs and the Kegelcisor.
Kegels will not only improve your pelvic tone—leading to less pee leakage as you age—but can make sex feel better for you as well. But like any work-out, it takes dedication and discipline, over time, to see results. So only do it if YOU want to.
– Dr. Kate
Gynotalk
Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. She also lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. Check out more of her advice and ask her a question at Gynotalk.com.
October 28th, 2010 at 11:29 pm
hey guys, the link to the mayo clinic isn’t working, so i’ll link to another useful site about the same topic here: http://www.sensual-health.com/PELVIC-FLOOR-EXERCISE-HOW-TO
I completely agree with Dr. Kate regarding a partner complaining about the issue of a slack/’not tight’ vagina; if it even is a problem, i wouldn’t even know how to address it in the first place. perhaps that’s a topic for another post on this site.
it needs to also be mentioned that the onus for keeping these important muscles healthy is not just on women; men can also keep their pelvic muscles toned and tightened. without exercise tools and toys, the method is the exact same.
October 30th, 2010 at 8:21 am
This is a very important issue for a lot of people and bears discussion.
Perhaps people should take a totally pragmatic approach to the lack of tone in the vagina issue. I’d like a man to speak up if there is an issue. This would allow us to solve the problem together. Similarly, a lady may also experience less than satisfying sex and benefit from feeling free to request the sort of sex that works well for her.
With open communication the problem can be solved, but without talking about it men have and will walk away from a possibly wonderful relationship.
As I understand it, the causes can include stretching/lack of tone in muscles and even insufficient arousal. Some of these can be fixed, but I suspect in some cases, a snug fit may not be possible with certain common ways of having sex. Dr Kate – please comment here as I would dearly like to know.
Given that exercises may not be the whole answer in either the short or long term, I’d like to hear comment on the effect of different positions, use of butt plugs and even alternative ways of having sex, e.g. anal sex, fisting etc. Thanks!