Other peopleâ€™s dreams are never interestingâ€¦except when theyâ€™re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
I’m a young woman in a very happy committed relationship. In the last few weeks, I’ve had multiple dreams about pregnancy and babies that are so realistic I have trouble coming out of the dream and back to reality. The first dream was my boyfriend and I getting ready to go out to dinner. I was observing us put on our coats… then Dream Me turned around and was HUGELY pregnant, maybe 8 months. My boyfriend and I smooch, then leave. That was it.
Next, I dreamed (in black and white) that I was holding our baby daughter — a newborn, less than a month old — and rocking her close to me. I remember how she looked up at me with so much astonishment, how much she weighed, how she fit in my arms… I woke up feeling lonely and so empty but at the same time, I felt overjoyed and fulfilled.
I can’t shake these dreams — they are so real; I remember exactly what it felt like to have my belly stretched to the limit and to have the most precious thing in the world in my arms…
I’m not sure if this is some subconscious desire of mine to be a mommy or if I feel like I need to care for someone or that I’m missing something? But my relationship with my boyfriend is fantastic — I can’t imagine that I’m lacking anything…?Â I know this isn’t exactly a sex-based dream query, but I know where babies come from, so maybe you could consider this a sexual by-product dream interpretation?
Lauri: We donâ€™t just take sex dreams, weâ€™re happy to take relationship dreams, too, so your dream fits right in! Now, at the end of your dream report you say that you canâ€™t imagine that anything is lacking in your life. Youâ€™re probably right and in fact, this dream reflects just that. The pregnancy and the baby actually show us that something new has entered into your life, something very precious that you want to hold onto and keep close to you just as you were holding the baby close to yourself in the dream.
My bet is that the idea of your boyfriend being â€śthe oneâ€ť is what has been growing inside of you, like a pregnancy, and that you are now ready to take it to the next level. Or perhaps, since you did have the baby in your dream, your relationship has already reached that new level. I do wonder though, if there is something you feel that the two of you are not opening up to each other about, because putting on your coats is about something in waking life you are keeping â€śunder wraps.â€ť Could it be the M word?
The emotions you feel when you wake up from a dream are very important because they are connected to how you feel about something in real life. Letâ€™s look at your relationship again. Would you say it is very fulfilling? And would you also say that you are beginning to feel you want even more (the M word), hence the simultaneous emptiness? This relationship is your baby and you are soooo ready to nurture it and help it grow and develop into its full potential.
Dreamer’s response: I was very relieved when I read your interpretation of fulfillment. Even though I have every confidence in my relationship, it is always nice to be affirmed. It’s funny that you should mention putting on our coats being a metaphor for maybe covering up the marriage issue. I say that because the last dream (of holding my daughter) prompted me to finally bring up the subject of marriage and led to a lovely, heartfelt conversation that put us back on the same page. I learned that we both want marriage — soon — but we aren’t financially prepared right now, but will be in the next few years. And although patience isn’t a virtue I normally possess, I know that it will be worth it to wait for a time when we are ready in as many ways as possible.
In response to your questions, yes, I find my relationship very fulfilling. I want for nothing other than a slightly cleaner house, at this point. He is caring and considerate, open with his thoughts and feelings, and tries to always put our relationship first. Yes, I definitely want more — I have never been able to have enough when it comes to him, heh heh. But, I also know that I don’t want to rush a wedding — after all, I only plan on doing it once. I want to do it right!
It is so affirming to hear you say that I’m coming across as ready for the next step — even in a dream.