Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What is the general consensus on women with big labia, or longer inner labia, or dark labia? Does it really matter? With the rise in labiaplasty surgery and all the adult men’s mags only showing only “neat and tidy” vulvas, it’s hard to figure out if this is just some manufactured porn ideal or a vast preference among men…?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Gay Single Guy (Daniel): If this is anything like the reference for cut versus uncut men (which would be the only way I could relate to this question, frankly), I’d have to say it’s probably just personal preference and if most of the men’s porn rags have neat and tidy, then that might just be the preference of the magazine editors. Big, dark, longer inner, whatever, it’s probably safe to say that a general consensus among men is CLEAN labia. After that, I’m sure it’s not a deal breaker.
Straight Single Guy (Mark Luczak): Cosmetically, a woman should feel completely comfortable with herself — confidence in oneself and one’s appearance is key. While I’ll certainly allow for any number of healthy avenues (diet, working out) toward as much visual improvement as one desires, being compelled explicitly by the “ideals” portayed in media and advertising and yes, porn, to go so far as to surgically alter oneself just to achieve this “perfection” seems a little overboard (and labiaplasty itself seems even an especially drastic thing to do).
As far as the male consensus, let me just say that if everything looked exactly the same, think how boring that would be. Those adult magazines simply don’t do justice to the great “variety” that is out there! Anyway, everyone being different in their own way is what makes us all special (not to go all Mr. Rogers). But seriously, if a guy is with someone he wants to be with for who she is as a complete person, how her labia look doesn’t really matter — he’s just thrilled to get to be intimate with her, and all her parts.
Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): I’m not a fan of plastic surgery, but I concede that not everyone is blessed with the same perfect proportions as me — that is, a big enough head to comfortably support some seriously outsized features.
So I understand why someone would get his or her nose done. After all, it’s out there for all to see, at all times. As for people whose face is the secret to their success, the pressure to have photogenic features has meant that movie stars stretching back to Marilyn Monroe have been getting their faces “fixed.”
The same is true for porn stars and their most valuable assets, their professional pussies. Either the big, long and dark labia are all being nipped and tucked, or they aren’t making it off the casting couch. But whether they’re being physically cut, or simply being cut in the editing suite, “imperfect” labia aren’t finding their way into pornography.
While this may be creating some impossible standards among men (and women) who can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality, for the rest of us it should be liberating. If your genitals aren’t frequently exposed to countless viewers, as long as they work, it doesn’t much matter what they look like. If you trust someone enough to let them down there, you should trust them not to put some alien porn ideal before your feelings or, more importantly, their chances of getting laid.
Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook of Most Likely To; our Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; and our Straight Single Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
May 25th, 2012 at 11:16 am
I love large lips. They really can’t be too big. My wife has very large outer labia and was a little shy about it when we got married. To me I love to feel the drag of the lips on my dick as I pull out. I also like some dark color. Anything different is sexy.
July 6th, 2012 at 7:08 pm
Ok, I guess I should voice my opinion on this matter. As a boy I thought all labia were supposed to be small, pink, and hardly visible (thanks to playboy). As I became sexually active, I never paid em any attention. I finally was asked by one girl if I’d go down on her. I decide to try it, but she kinda smelled bad, so I didn’t do it. She had small, pink lips. It took years before I even thought to try that again! Then I met a gorgeous little Asian gal that loved oral above all else. She asked me to go down on her, which I decided to do, and I was completely freaked out by what I saw! She had these big, dark dangly things that looked like a roast beef sandwich! I couldn’t bring myself to kiss em, let alone lick em! I flat out told her they looked disgusting! She was pretty upset. She cried and told me she was very embarrassed about her pussy because it did look abnormal and freakish. I actually felt kinda bad! I decided I’d be “nice” and just try it to please her. I have to say it was the best damn roast beef sandwich I’ve ever eaten in my life! They felt so good between my lips and on my tongue! They were so stretchy and fun to play with! Before I knew it, she was cumming and I was hard as a rock! I kept going, and before I knew it I gave her 3 orgasms! After that she started sucking on me, but I just wanted to feel those meaty lips on wrapped around my penis. When she climbed on my lap and I slid inside her, I felt like I was getting laid and getting head at the same time! It was AMAZING! I’ve never found a more beautiful set of lips on a real woman, and I’ll never forget how awesome that experience was! My wife now has a nice thick, dark set, but they’re not nearly as large as I’d like em to be. I’ve almost thought about asking her if she would mind stretching them for me, but I’m not sure how she’d take that. LOL. Anyways, the short of it is: large, thick, dark = beautiful, tasty, amazing! Meat’s meat, and a man’s gotta eat! Be proud of your labia, ladies!
July 8th, 2012 at 1:16 pm
I have large labia and while it can be uncomfortable when I wear tight pants, I have to say its very pleasurable when I’m having sex. The nerve endings are very sensitive and I wouldn’t dream of snipping the soft petals off my ladyflower. What really.pisses me off is society’s concept of what women are supposed to look like and be. So our pleasure and well-being are secondary to what men want us to be?! Fuck that…also…@Ferg, I commend you for being honest and owning up to your past experience, your wife’s a lucky woman:) the world needs more open minded men And women.
July 15th, 2012 at 2:51 am
My inner labia are small and pink, so much so that my pussy can “close” with nothing hanging out of it. I may be partial but these are the vaginas I find to be the prettiest, small and pink and dainty with a little clitoris. I am very proud of my pussy,and I love to take care of it and show it off. Men love to look at it and eat it; you don’t have to have big old tentacles hanging out of your labia majora to enjoy oral pleasure, that’s for damn sure! I wouldn’t dream on ever changing my pussy for anyone.
August 28th, 2012 at 12:27 am
A pink paper cut slit is boring. Bring on the “tentacles”. The thicker, darker, meatier the better. Black, Asian and brunette women have the prettiest pussies on Earth.
September 2nd, 2012 at 1:14 pm
I used to be ashamed of my lips but my husband ‘who loves giving oral’ says I have the best he’s ever had. He also says my pussy hugs his cock like no other. Oh yea and fuck u Dallas…I bet you’re pussy has miles on it for days! Bahahaha usually us ‘tentacle’ women are so insecure we stay virgins into adulthood like myself which means more qaulity pussy =o
September 5th, 2012 at 7:49 am
I am still a little embarrassed with my large labia but I’m starting to embrace it. Everyone looks different down there, and I agree that I find oral sex to be much mkmore pleasurable and their tongue can sliding inbetween my large inner labia feels soo amazing. I can have multiple orgasms and guyz say it feels better during sex as it wrapps around their cock.
Don’t hate on Dallas guys,
She’s just happier being simple!
……
she’s just
September 14th, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Y’all haters crack me up. Envy is not attractive, but it sure is hilarious. To each their own, and I love my own.
October 7th, 2012 at 9:50 pm
Wow, Ferg’s response made me feel so much more confident. I’m Asian and have been pretty insecure about my labia since I’ve noticed from porn and media that pink labias were ideal, not the darker brown ones. I’ve never had a man go down on me before or seen me there even during sex, and I didn’t think they’d want to considering how ugly it looks. :/
October 22nd, 2012 at 10:58 am
I’m really ashamed of mine and everytime my guy asks I just can’t bring myself to let him because it’s all dark and………. Well you can picture that.
Im mixed with southern Asian and white, but I kinda got my mom’s tan complexion. I’m really really scared he might be grossed out
November 9th, 2012 at 8:56 pm
My inner lips drag and one is longer than the other one. Its uncimfortable wearing tight pants for me too. My bf and I have been together over five years, he loves eating me out but I still feel insecure about them. Im hispanic and im light skin hispanic idk why my butterfly is so dark. But reading these comments make me feel better. I feel unique now. Mu bf tells me he loves to play with my lips, but i just always think he says tha to make me feel better. But maybe its true, i have only let him eat me out. Being 26 I need to start loving my butterfly.
November 12th, 2012 at 8:04 pm
@Dallas…
I agree that everyone should try to embrace themselves and love what they have. You are very lucky to have been born with what you consider “ideal”. But you can’t call someone out on being a hater when it was YOU who first made a negative statement about those women who’s pussy image doesn’t live up to what you consider attractive. Can we say hipocrite?
No one is going to respect your opinion if you can’t respect other’s opinions as well… And my pussy lips have no bearing on this response. I am as happy with my awesome snatch as you are of yours
November 20th, 2012 at 7:32 pm
I used to find my labia embarrassing as I grew up. They were quite long from an early age so were a bit uncomfortable in tight jeans. Quite a few years on, older and wiser, I usually wear jeans without panties, place my labia either side of the main seam, zip up snug and feel turned on and stimulated at the same time as doing every-day things….. enjoy your long labia. I know my man does.
December 12th, 2012 at 1:11 am
My outter lips are very long. I’ve always thought my Flower was disgusting and I’m so afraid to let people see it. My ex boyfriend said he love my vagina and it was perfect!
December 12th, 2012 at 12:43 pm
My lips were torn about halfway down on one side when I had my second child. I never really thought about their appearance or being self conscious of them until my husband made a comment the other day, that none of the other girls look right because they aren’t split like mine. Guess people come in all shapes & sizes. (Pun intended)
December 23rd, 2012 at 10:56 pm
Wow…This is kinda strange. I am in my early twenties and was never exposed to crazy amounts of porn (occastional Hustler) so it never really struck me that all vaginas in porn look the same. I’ve recently heard about women getting labiaplasty and my thought is why would you mutilate your vagina? I have a large labia and have been with a decent amount of people (men and women) and have never had a complaint or had anyone decide not to have sex with me because my labia is “different”. I think people are mostly just happy to be getting some!
January 3rd, 2013 at 2:56 am
Recently I noticed my abnormal labia and freaked out! I was searching all over the net for Labiaplasty surgeons and everything. The comments here make me feel a lot better, it’s just that one side is like a little thin labia, and the other is all long and dark. It bothers me, but I suppose I’ll learn to live with it, cause these Labiaplasty surgeons do NOT seem very reliable!
January 14th, 2013 at 12:54 am
Honestly speaking, I prefer “small” (aka, “neat”, “tidy”, etc.) labia. Aesthetically, it is just more appealing to me. I don’t think porn is responsible for my pussy preference as much as one may think though – if so, why do I prefer natural women (an unshaved women down there drives me wild and breast implants turn me off completely), plus I know plenty of other guys out there who *prefer* meaty lips… just like our bodies are different, so are our preferences.
The other reason besides looking prettier, is functionality. Yes, of course you can fuck a large-labiaed pussy with great enjoyment (as I have) , but you can’t ‘slip it in’ as easily when those big curtains get in the way (unless she’s *really* wet or lubed up). Having sex with a woman who has large labia requires diligently spreading her open with both hands as you insert your member (and watch out if a tentacle gets sucked in!) whereas sexing a woman with tidy little labia you can slip in sans manual assistance, which is much sexier IMHO…
That all being said, my partner (of 5+ years!) has rather large labia (the biggest I have ever experienced; compared to about 25-30 other data points over my 33 years) so it obviously isn’t a deal breaker if you love the person.
January 14th, 2013 at 1:39 am
Ok, so I’ve had my larger labia for as long as I can remember . The ex I had sex w for the first time said he cnt wait till I let him eat my fat pussy . For the longest time i was very uncomfortable w my lips but I’ve grown to be quite proud of them
February 16th, 2013 at 5:55 am
Lady parts are to be enjoyed by their owners and the men (or women) who are lucky enough to get intimate with them. I disagree that Playboy has led us all to believe labia minora should be small enough to stay hidden. Labia are visually appealing. Leave the light on. Get down there and get started.
March 25th, 2013 at 8:19 am
@Dallas, I like your last sentence, but you shouldn’t be hating on others who don’t have the same labia as you. You’re kinda a hypocrite.
March 28th, 2013 at 3:35 pm
Wow. Reading all of these has made me feel so much better. My boyfriend and I are eachother’s first relationship and I’ve gone down on him. He always tells me that he wants to do it to me but I am so embarrassed by mine. But this has really made me think that it won’t matter. My boyfriend is the sweetest and always tells me I’m beautiful no matter what. I think it’s time I let him.
April 10th, 2013 at 9:57 am
I hate my large labia lips , I’m 19 and a virgin I’m just scared that when a guy see them his going to get turned off , my worst fear
May 8th, 2013 at 5:07 pm
What people need to understand about labiaplasty is that, it is not just about aesthetics. Long labia cause pain and irritation and compromise genital hygiene.
And like all cosmetic surgeries it helps with people’s insecurities. Women carry this insecurity around their whole life and labiaplasty helps. I have had one myself and honestly I haven’t seen much porn or playboy. It isn’t about that. It isn’t about wanting a perfect vagina, it is about wanting to feel okay about it.
It is a very simple procedure, almost risk-free and sometimes even insurance companies agree to pay. So don’t be so judgemental.