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Wise Guys: Do Men Care What Labia Look Like?

Wed, Oct 13, 2010

Advice, Wise Guys


photo by robbie_jim

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What is the general consensus on women with big labia, or longer inner labia, or dark labia? Does it really matter? With the rise in labiaplasty surgery and all the adult men’s mags only showing only “neat and tidy” vulvas, it’s hard to figure out if this is just some manufactured porn ideal or a vast preference among men…?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

daniel_100Gay Single Guy (Daniel): If this is anything like the reference for cut versus uncut men (which would be the only way I could relate to this question, frankly), I’d have to say it’s probably just personal preference and if most of the men’s porn rags have neat and tidy, then that might just be the preference of the magazine editors. Big, dark, longer inner, whatever, it’s probably safe to say that a general consensus among men is CLEAN labia. After that, I’m sure it’s not a deal breaker.

mark_luczak_100Straight Single Guy (Mark Luczak): Cosmetically, a woman should feel completely comfortable with herself — confidence in oneself and one’s appearance is key. While I’ll certainly allow for any number of healthy avenues (diet, working out) toward as much visual improvement as one desires, being compelled explicitly by the “ideals” portayed in media and advertising and yes, porn, to go so far as to surgically alter oneself just to achieve this “perfection” seems a little overboard (and labiaplasty itself seems even an especially drastic thing to do).

As far as the male consensus, let me just say that if everything looked exactly the same, think how boring that would be. Those adult magazines simply don’t do justice to the great “variety” that is out there! Anyway, everyone being different in their own way is what makes us all special (not to go all Mr. Rogers). But seriously, if a guy is with someone he wants to be with for who she is as a complete person, how her labia look doesn’t really matter — he’s just thrilled to get to be intimate with her, and all her parts.

james_glazebrook_100Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): I’m not a fan of plastic surgery, but I concede that not everyone is blessed with the same perfect proportions as me — that is, a big enough head to comfortably support some seriously outsized features.

So I understand why someone would get his or her nose done. After all, it’s out there for all to see, at all times. As for people whose face is the secret to their success, the pressure to have photogenic features has meant that movie stars stretching back to Marilyn Monroe have been getting their faces “fixed.”

The same is true for porn stars and their most valuable assets, their professional pussies. Either the big, long and dark labia are all being nipped and tucked, or they aren’t making it off the casting couch. But whether they’re being physically cut, or simply being cut in the editing suite, “imperfect” labia aren’t finding their way into pornography.

While this may be creating some impossible standards among men (and women) who can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality, for the rest of us it should be liberating. If your genitals aren’t frequently exposed to countless viewers, as long as they work, it doesn’t much matter what they look like. If you trust someone enough to let them down there, you should trust them not to put some alien porn ideal before your feelings or, more importantly, their chances of getting laid.

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook of Most Likely To; our Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; and our Straight Single Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

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100 Responses to “Wise Guys: Do Men Care What Labia Look Like?”

  1. Matt Says:

    I love large lips. They really can’t be too big. My wife has very large outer labia and was a little shy about it when we got married. To me I love to feel the drag of the lips on my dick as I pull out. I also like some dark color. Anything different is sexy.

  2. Ferg Says:

    Ok, I guess I should voice my opinion on this matter. As a boy I thought all labia were supposed to be small, pink, and hardly visible (thanks to playboy). As I became sexually active, I never paid em any attention. I finally was asked by one girl if I’d go down on her. I decide to try it, but she kinda smelled bad, so I didn’t do it. She had small, pink lips. It took years before I even thought to try that again! Then I met a gorgeous little Asian gal that loved oral above all else. She asked me to go down on her, which I decided to do, and I was completely freaked out by what I saw! She had these big, dark dangly things that looked like a roast beef sandwich! I couldn’t bring myself to kiss em, let alone lick em! I flat out told her they looked disgusting! She was pretty upset. She cried and told me she was very embarrassed about her pussy because it did look abnormal and freakish. I actually felt kinda bad! I decided I’d be “nice” and just try it to please her. I have to say it was the best damn roast beef sandwich I’ve ever eaten in my life! They felt so good between my lips and on my tongue! They were so stretchy and fun to play with! Before I knew it, she was cumming and I was hard as a rock! I kept going, and before I knew it I gave her 3 orgasms! After that she started sucking on me, but I just wanted to feel those meaty lips on wrapped around my penis. When she climbed on my lap and I slid inside her, I felt like I was getting laid and getting head at the same time! It was AMAZING! I’ve never found a more beautiful set of lips on a real woman, and I’ll never forget how awesome that experience was! My wife now has a nice thick, dark set, but they’re not nearly as large as I’d like em to be. I’ve almost thought about asking her if she would mind stretching them for me, but I’m not sure how she’d take that. LOL. Anyways, the short of it is: large, thick, dark = beautiful, tasty, amazing! Meat’s meat, and a man’s gotta eat! Be proud of your labia, ladies!

  3. sirenita Says:

    I have large labia and while it can be uncomfortable when I wear tight pants, I have to say its very pleasurable when I’m having sex. The nerve endings are very sensitive and I wouldn’t dream of snipping the soft petals off my ladyflower. What really.pisses me off is society’s concept of what women are supposed to look like and be. So our pleasure and well-being are secondary to what men want us to be?! Fuck that…also…@Ferg, I commend you for being honest and owning up to your past experience, your wife’s a lucky woman:) the world needs more open minded men And women.

  4. dallas Says:

    My inner labia are small and pink, so much so that my pussy can “close” with nothing hanging out of it. I may be partial but these are the vaginas I find to be the prettiest, small and pink and dainty with a little clitoris. I am very proud of my pussy,and I love to take care of it and show it off. Men love to look at it and eat it; you don’t have to have big old tentacles hanging out of your labia majora to enjoy oral pleasure, that’s for damn sure! I wouldn’t dream on ever changing my pussy for anyone.

  5. Ihatedallas Says:

    A pink paper cut slit is boring. Bring on the “tentacles”. The thicker, darker, meatier the better. Black, Asian and brunette women have the prettiest pussies on Earth.

  6. brunette Says:

    I used to be ashamed of my lips but my husband ‘who loves giving oral’ says I have the best he’s ever had. He also says my pussy hugs his cock like no other. Oh yea and fuck u Dallas…I bet you’re pussy has miles on it for days! Bahahaha usually us ‘tentacle’ women are so insecure we stay virgins into adulthood like myself which means more qaulity pussy =o

  7. Butterflylips Says:

    I am still a little embarrassed with my large labia but I’m starting to embrace it. Everyone looks different down there, and I agree that I find oral sex to be much mkmore pleasurable and their tongue can sliding inbetween my large inner labia feels soo amazing. I can have multiple orgasms and guyz say it feels better during sex as it wrapps around their cock. ;) Don’t hate on Dallas guys,
    She’s just happier being simple!
    ……
    she’s just

  8. dallas Says:

    Y’all haters crack me up. Envy is not attractive, but it sure is hilarious. To each their own, and I love my own.

  9. Linn Says:

    Wow, Ferg’s response made me feel so much more confident. I’m Asian and have been pretty insecure about my labia since I’ve noticed from porn and media that pink labias were ideal, not the darker brown ones. I’ve never had a man go down on me before or seen me there even during sex, and I didn’t think they’d want to considering how ugly it looks. :/

  10. Rosepetals Says:

    I’m really ashamed of mine and everytime my guy asks I just can’t bring myself to let him because it’s all dark and………. Well you can picture that.
    Im mixed with southern Asian and white, but I kinda got my mom’s tan complexion. I’m really really scared he might be grossed out :(

  11. Lina Says:

    My inner lips drag and one is longer than the other one. Its uncimfortable wearing tight pants for me too. My bf and I have been together over five years, he loves eating me out but I still feel insecure about them. Im hispanic and im light skin hispanic idk why my butterfly is so dark. But reading these comments make me feel better. I feel unique now. Mu bf tells me he loves to play with my lips, but i just always think he says tha to make me feel better. But maybe its true, i have only let him eat me out. Being 26 I need to start loving my butterfly.

  12. Evangeline Says:

    @Dallas…
    I agree that everyone should try to embrace themselves and love what they have. You are very lucky to have been born with what you consider “ideal”. But you can’t call someone out on being a hater when it was YOU who first made a negative statement about those women who’s pussy image doesn’t live up to what you consider attractive. Can we say hipocrite?

    No one is going to respect your opinion if you can’t respect other’s opinions as well… And my pussy lips have no bearing on this response. I am as happy with my awesome snatch as you are of yours :)

  13. Meg Says:

    I used to find my labia embarrassing as I grew up. They were quite long from an early age so were a bit uncomfortable in tight jeans. Quite a few years on, older and wiser, I usually wear jeans without panties, place my labia either side of the main seam, zip up snug and feel turned on and stimulated at the same time as doing every-day things….. enjoy your long labia. I know my man does.

  14. LeaBia Says:

    My outter lips are very long. I’ve always thought my Flower was disgusting and I’m so afraid to let people see it. My ex boyfriend said he love my vagina and it was perfect!

  15. JENNY TUTONE Says:

    My lips were torn about halfway down on one side when I had my second child. I never really thought about their appearance or being self conscious of them until my husband made a comment the other day, that none of the other girls look right because they aren’t split like mine. Guess people come in all shapes & sizes. (Pun intended)

  16. SarahCarolina Says:

    Wow…This is kinda strange. I am in my early twenties and was never exposed to crazy amounts of porn (occastional Hustler) so it never really struck me that all vaginas in porn look the same. I’ve recently heard about women getting labiaplasty and my thought is why would you mutilate your vagina? I have a large labia and have been with a decent amount of people (men and women) and have never had a complaint or had anyone decide not to have sex with me because my labia is “different”. I think people are mostly just happy to be getting some!

  17. Erin Says:

    Recently I noticed my abnormal labia and freaked out! I was searching all over the net for Labiaplasty surgeons and everything. The comments here make me feel a lot better, it’s just that one side is like a little thin labia, and the other is all long and dark. It bothers me, but I suppose I’ll learn to live with it, cause these Labiaplasty surgeons do NOT seem very reliable!

  18. Mr.Big Says:

    Honestly speaking, I prefer “small” (aka, “neat”, “tidy”, etc.) labia. Aesthetically, it is just more appealing to me. I don’t think porn is responsible for my pussy preference as much as one may think though – if so, why do I prefer natural women (an unshaved women down there drives me wild and breast implants turn me off completely), plus I know plenty of other guys out there who *prefer* meaty lips… just like our bodies are different, so are our preferences.

    The other reason besides looking prettier, is functionality. Yes, of course you can fuck a large-labiaed pussy with great enjoyment (as I have) , but you can’t ‘slip it in’ as easily when those big curtains get in the way (unless she’s *really* wet or lubed up). Having sex with a woman who has large labia requires diligently spreading her open with both hands as you insert your member (and watch out if a tentacle gets sucked in!) whereas sexing a woman with tidy little labia you can slip in sans manual assistance, which is much sexier IMHO…

    That all being said, my partner (of 5+ years!) has rather large labia (the biggest I have ever experienced; compared to about 25-30 other data points over my 33 years) so it obviously isn’t a deal breaker if you love the person.

  19. Geethaang Says:

    Ok, so I’ve had my larger labia for as long as I can remember . The ex I had sex w for the first time said he cnt wait till I let him eat my fat pussy . For the longest time i was very uncomfortable w my lips but I’ve grown to be quite proud of them
    :)

  20. Lovelabia Says:

    Lady parts are to be enjoyed by their owners and the men (or women) who are lucky enough to get intimate with them. I disagree that Playboy has led us all to believe labia minora should be small enough to stay hidden. Labia are visually appealing. Leave the light on. Get down there and get started.

  21. Hannah Says:

    @Dallas, I like your last sentence, but you shouldn’t be hating on others who don’t have the same labia as you. You’re kinda a hypocrite.

  22. Amy Says:

    Wow. Reading all of these has made me feel so much better. My boyfriend and I are eachother’s first relationship and I’ve gone down on him. He always tells me that he wants to do it to me but I am so embarrassed by mine. But this has really made me think that it won’t matter. My boyfriend is the sweetest and always tells me I’m beautiful no matter what. I think it’s time I let him.

  23. Amy Says:

    I hate my large labia lips , I’m 19 and a virgin I’m just scared that when a guy see them his going to get turned off , my worst fear

  24. jane Says:

    What people need to understand about labiaplasty is that, it is not just about aesthetics. Long labia cause pain and irritation and compromise genital hygiene.
    And like all cosmetic surgeries it helps with people’s insecurities. Women carry this insecurity around their whole life and labiaplasty helps. I have had one myself and honestly I haven’t seen much porn or playboy. It isn’t about that. It isn’t about wanting a perfect vagina, it is about wanting to feel okay about it.
    It is a very simple procedure, almost risk-free and sometimes even insurance companies agree to pay. So don’t be so judgemental.

  25. denise Says:

    ok .. so my boyfriend of three years just informed me that my lips looked like they had been used frequently. I am not quite sure how to take this. I have been with my fair share of people in my life, but I am almost 40. And exposed to more than my fair share of abuse.I knew they were darker and longer than some photos I have seen. He did precede the statement by saying he loved my body and he didn’t want me to take it wrong but honestly I am not sure how to take it. We live a fair distance apart because of work and children but have known each other for more than 20 years so we do send a lot of photos and videos. We see each other on weekends but I now am more self conscious and don’t know what my options are. This makes me sad and fear that he doesn’t feel the same about me.

  26. f Says:

    Denise, tell him his not to take it badly, but that his cock looks like it’s been overused.
    Gosh, would you believe for a second that genitals can look overused? Unless you have bruises and have just given birth, I don’t see how. And in that case, bruises or baby, he should be supporting you, not making you feel insecure about how you look. The only reason he can say that is because he KNOWS you, so he knows how many people you’ve been with, and he can’t deal with that.
    I strongly suggest you back off, and find someone who actually loves you and isn’t going to invent twisted ways to insult you rather than talk to you when he’s feeling insecure. Perhaps you can remain friends with that douche, but I’d suggest to stay away from him.
    (A good counter-example to the crap he told you is this : consider female pornstars. How can they remain popular after banging so many people if their vaginas “started looking used up”, since you mainly get close-ups of their crotchs in their films?)

  27. lover Says:

    I’a a girl, and an international model, I cut my lips to feel more confortable while changing my clothes around other models. I have to say even when my lips were big every guy I had ate me out like a pig. As a girl who loves pussy just like guys, I love eating pussy as long it’s clean, I get horny just thinking of it no matter how it looks. I had a long relation ship with a girl she was so damn hot that anything on her was sexy even her huge lips! I still remember her as the most delicious thing I’ve tried. I would say girls don’t cut your labias it’s way to painful, and for pussy lovers it really doesn’t matter!!

  28. Insecure :( Says:

    I have quite large and dark inner labia. I’m so self conscious about it… On the outside I am confident about my looks, to be honest the guys at school all think I’m pretty hot hahahahah!! The only thing that’s kind of on the outside is my small-ish boobs, because I know once everyone else is fully developed mine won’t look as “normal”. I’ve kind of come to like them though. ANYWAY, people at school sometimes talk about girls getting “fingered” and obviously there is talk about sex and whatnot. Sometimes stuff happens at parties and I’m really worried that a guy might try to finger me or something at some stage and see my labia and get completely turned off. Some of the guys seem so judgemental when they talk about some girls and I don’t want that to happen to me!! Also, if they go around telling people that I had a weird vagina then everyone will know and aaaahhhh!!!! I’ve tried accepting them and I admit, some of the comments on here ar quite reassuring, but I don’t know if teenage boys would think the same thing. At this stage they are nowhere near as mature as grown men and haven’t seen many different types of vaginas… IM SO FREAKED OUT!!

  29. lover Says:

    OHHHH nooo don’t freak out!!! I bet u are so hot that anything will look sexy on you, and guys should be thankful to get in your pants!!! When I was a teenager I felt just like u and I did the surgery. I don’t recommend unless it hurts in ur jeans. And why u wanna mess with teenage guys? older men are way better (I always had older guys)
    xoxo

  30. Rachel Says:

    I was a stripper for 20 years & saw all different labia. Men dont care, they love them all & they love women who are comfortable with their bodies. I personally have very long and dark labia, they look totally hot from behind & I made a small fortune from them.No one has ever said anything derogatory about them & I would not tolerate it if they did. We are all perfect as nature made us.

  31. Peter Stone Says:

    My current partner was also my teenage lover, but we lost touch with each other for over forty years. She has a lovely ‘neat’ pussy, but I’ve been with a number of others who have larger and darker and even lopsided labia. They are all lovely, too.

    It is a bit like penis size. It is not the size, it is what you do with it. I’ve given cunninglingus to all types. They have all been great fun and I love variety.

    Angela Goodnight’s books deal with our experiences.

  32. Labia Lover Says:

    Ladies with long, lovely labia. Please embrace what you have and don’t worry about societal stigmas or movies that cast a certain type. There are plenty of us men who love sucking, licking and feeling your long beautiful labia in our mouths, around our tongues and over our lips. Personally the longer the labia the more aroused I am and the better sex we have. So as many have said, everyone has their preference and many of us prefer larger labia.

  33. Tyla Says:

    Okay so me and this guy have liked eachother for a while now and he says that he wants to eat me out and stuff but my labia is dark and it hangs. My clitoris is big too. Im so embarassed about the way it looks but i dont want to have surgery on it.
    Does it really matter what it looks like to a guy? I mean theyre gonna have sex so does it really matter as long as its clean?

  34. insecure girl Says:

    i have large labia that hangs out of the outer lips and its a little brownish at the ends because i am half asian. i have been fingered once and i was wondering if guys can tell if you have large labia just by fingering you? because the guy never said anything after, but i havent done it since because i am afraid someone will notice im not normal. i want to get surgery because of the way it looks but also because of the pain i get when i wear jeans sometimes. should i do it? also i feel like im never going to loose my virginity because i am so self concious about them. i just want them to be hidden behind my outer lips. i also feel uncomfortable in a swimsuit because im afraid people can kind of tell through the swimsuit. i am considered i guess “hot” that is not cocky in any way i swear but will guys just be completely turned off if they see that i have bigger labia?

  35. Lucy Young Says:

    Dallas people are “hating” on you as you have been narrow minded and rude! Referencing to labia as testicles you have been rude and nasty against women you don’t know for no reason! You’re lucky enough to have a pornstar vagina? Good for you darling, some of us are not as lucky and you have no idea how much strain it can put on someone and their relationships. Its comments like yours which are why women are going to the lengths of surgery! I also think you may need to go back to school and learn about the body, labia and testicles are completely different they don’t look similar in the slightest, maybe you also need to go back to school to learn some manners. I feel sorry for any one that chooses to jump into bed with you when your such a judgemental, small minded person. GROW UP!

    Fergs comment has also made me feel a lot more comfortable thank you! I’ve been in this situation myself where men have told me they like the look of the neat ones but ones like mine feel so much better, I never thought it would have made such a difference but apparently it can! I also find men like to go down on me, when I let them :s.

    Confidence is key, if you bring something to someone’s attention they will notice it, most of the time when men have the horn on they are only thinking about sex, I love oral sex if kick came to shove and I had to choose oral sex or sex for the rest of my life, oral would win. However, even though I try to be confident and I try to pretend I don’t think anything is wrong down there, I always cringe at the thought of what they are thinking about it and can’t relax. I have met someone who I have been with 8 months now. First time we were in bed together we didn’t want to sleep together but he touched me down there and I freaked out, thinking I really like this guy and I’m now never going to hear from him again. Before Steve the first time I would sleep with someone, I would make sure I pleased him, go down on him, and then climb on top so he wouldn’t have to touch me at all. This is really uncomfortable btw! When a woman cums your wet and your pussy opens up more…you’re ready for sex. I never was and spit just isn’t the same, I never really enjoyed sex, just enjoyed being with a man. Anyway back to Steve, so I did hear from him again, but when we did have sex he kept losing his hard on. in my head this was because of how I looked down there. Afterwards he was obviously feeling conscious to, but told me it was because I intimidated him. I found this hard to believe as before I came alone and we got serious he would sleep with a different woman every night of the week! I am also aware he watches porn every day, and even has a book called beautiful pussy, so sees “pretty” ones every day, this also plays on my mind.

    I couldn’t cum with Steve for months until I felt comfortable, then sex became incredible as I became more care free with someone I fell in love with, he would always goes down on me and would tell me he loved it. I’d always cum before sex, sometimes wouldn’t be able to walk because my legs were so shaky. Once it came into conversation that I felt conscious about my appearance down there, and he just said it doesn’t matter. So if this is the case why do pornos only show women with no inner labia at all really?

    About 2 months ago, in my new comfortable “I’ll walk around naked with the lights on in front of my boyfriend” state, Steve was laying down and as I walked near him he pulled at my lips, I said don’t so that and he just giggled. This then happened again while I had just got out the shower. I quickly put my knickers on and he could tell he had upset me, we got into a discussion about it, lots and lots of tears from me and he stormed off in a mood with me over it!! I felt so sick that someone I had opened up to, I had let touch me, thought loved me, picked at one of my faults and for a second time made me feel upset about it.

    After he came back and had calmed down he said he didn’t think his actions were a big deal and I was overreacting. I went and did loads of research on it, was unable to concentrate at work constantly thinking about the operation. I found a chart which showed 87.7% of women have 0-3.4 inch, and only 5% have one inch like myself, I could have felt like more of a disgusting, abnormal freak, especially in such a private area. I decided to go to the gynecologist, I told Steve I was going and once again felt hurt after he said “going to get your beef flaps cut off are you”. Once he said it I could tell he knew it was the wrong thing to say but said he was trying to make light of an awkward situation, but it my eyes he just made matters worse and was very insensitive. I find it hard to believe he loves me now after knocking my confidence so much with something I’ve told him I get very upset about. I’ve tried to act normal with him in the bedroom because I don’t want to make things more awkward by talking about it all the time, but I haven’t been able to cum since.

    Saw the gynaecologist and she was cold and just said everyone is different, your normal, everything is in working order, we only deal with serious cases on the NHS. This op would cost about 3 grand. I don’t have that kind of money and honestly do I want it…god no!! I couldn’t imagine anything worse. I am so anti cosmetic surgery, so I don’t know what to do . My gynaecologist told me to find someone more mature, when I told Steve he said well I don’t have the problem with it you do.

    what to do? 

  36. dallas Says:

    I called them “tentacles,” honey not “testicles,” maybe its you who should go back to school and learn how to read.

    Your insecurity with your own body existed long before you read what I wrote, and will probably exist long after. Again, not my problem. Work on that.

  37. Lucy Y Says:

    Dallas

    Touché, blind as a bat and didn’t read that properly. Tentacles testicles both nasty things to say. I don’t know why you would be nasty about others appearances and have no remorse for how your making someone feel.

    I didn’t say it was you who bought on these insecurities I said its people “like” you who cause them. Just think it is a very touchy subject with women who are unfortunate enough not to have a “perfect neat one”, put yourself in her shoes, how would you like to hear those thins said about your body.

  38. Buffy Says:

    All the support for this is good to see! I wish we as a society could be more supportive of the fact that penises come in all shapes and sizes too. It seems like people will support women and tell them they’re wonderful no matter what but both men and women will make fun of penis size without a second thought. :/ Hypocrisy.

  39. Gisselle Says:

    The problem with these threads is that people who defend one type tend to insult the other. In other words, many people who respond on here are too immature to function.

    Most people on here have insulted women with smaller labia and I feel that women like Dallas felt the need to defend their anatomy. We, the women with smaller labia, are not underdeveloped prepubescent children. We (for the most part) are not lacking in sex drive and sensation. We are women just like everyone else.

    For the women with larger labia, you are not over-developed, you are not used up ol’ whores, and you are not deformed. You don’t need “corrective” surgery and porn pussy shouldn’t make you feel bad.

    Please, refrain from making fun of anyone on here. If you prefer them bigger, tell us so but don’t make assumptions about smaller ones. “Small labia are useless and oral with them isn’t fun!” Fuck you. “Large labia are ugly and look like used-up burgers.” Fuck you.

    Grow up, people! We’re supposed to be different. Same old is boring which is why variety from small to large is spicing things up.

  40. Istilhatemine_wishididnt:( Says:

    I’m so glad there are so many open/honest answers here. I’m 25 and I’ve hated my labia since as far back as I can remember. I had to experience the horror of starting menses at 9, but a year before I developed pubic hair, breasts, and labia minors almost EXACTLY as they look today! I’m a petite girl too so it stands out (pun intended!) even more than normal. So by age 9 I already learned to hate what I looked like “down there.” My sister, 3 years older than me, was convinced I was having sex when I was a teenager and when I said I wasn’t she would say “well ten what’s wrong with your JUNK??” So I agree, a lot of us longer ladies wait a while and are very particular with whom we show our “bits” because we are embarrassed! Labia has nothing to do with sexual partners, and especially with how tight out vaginas are! Haha. That’s a hallmark of a sexually-inexperienced person, if they think that’s what causes it. I know some people don’t like longer labia, but I wish it wasn’t because of the “gross” factor society has put on it :/

    I still don’t like mine because I get tiny tears because of pulling during sex… Ugh. But my husband, who was my first (awww) has never had a problem with them even after 8 years of some pretty sweet bangin’ lol

  41. Kel Says:

    I happened upon this thread pretty much as a reassurance regarding my labia also. However, my labia are small and tucked away ( I guess the “porn star” look everyone is referring to ). I have actually had labia envy also, but sometimes wishing mine were a little larger rather than very small! Most threads I have read lately have said that most men prefer larger labia because they look more feminine. Also, that women with small ones are not as “developed” and look prepubescent or whatever. That to me is just as unsettling as women worrying about their big ones! And for the girl Dallas who posted, I have this to say : you are very rude and immature! To say things like ” tentacles” and whatever to other women who come here and share their stories is just rude and disrespectful! Guess what, I have a “pornstar vag” just like you, so don’t even try to say I am jealous of you just because I also called you out on your rudeness! Women should empower each other and try to be supportive when others open up and talk about things that are hurtful to them. You seem to think take pleasure in making people feel like crap! I sure hope others on here are more mature and compassionate than you are! With that said, is there any way to make labia a little bigger ? I mean enough that they really hug a guys penis ? This is what men say feels so good about larger labia, and I want mine bigger!!

  42. Alexandra Says:

    Yo, I guarantee it this Dallas gal has loads of insecurities. That is why she is so nasty and judgmental towards long-labia posters.

    It’s probably because of the fact that she validates herself by her appearance, and when she sees a post rooting for the other team, it’s a major blow to her ego. Oh god, there are men out there that AREN’T attracted to your vagina? What ever will you do?

    Guess you’ll have to develop some sort of personality instead of this biting jealous bitchy rotten attitude to compensate. :)

  43. Amy Says:

    I’m very small in the labia minora department but unlike many of the people here I’m not going to slam women who are bigger than me just to boost my own confidence. Look at all of the women and especially men who are saying that people like me are boring and basically have nothing to offer or if it’s not that, we are underdeveloped prepubescent girls with no sex drive that only attract pedophiles. Yes, that’s what we have to put up with and what makes things worse is the women with large labia thanking these fools who say these comments because it made them feel better about themselves! Are you kidding me?! You don’t like to be treated that way but kudos to those who do that to people who look different from you? See the problem there?

    @Gisselle You made so many great points but sadly they will go unnoticed because it would require people to use their brains which from what I’ve seen here, many are incapable of doing. Some people truly want all of this crap to end but most just want things to be about them and to hell with everyone else which is why people will choose to ignore your comment.

    I guess I should be thankful that I’m very much into spirituality so I can devote all of my energy to that and not relationships. I’d love to share my life with someone but the last thing I need is to end up with an asshole like some of the guys here who only see me as a body part and if I don’t look the way that he likes then I’ll be tossed aside like a piece of garbage. NO ONE deserves to be treated like that.

    Oh and @Gisselle, you might want to add “chicks with small lips can’t feel sex unlike the big ones” to the list. The stupidity that the human mind is capable of will never cease to amaze me.

  44. Nancy Says:

    It’s too bad that Dallas had to come on here and voice her opinion in the way she did. Its perfectly fine to tell your opinion, but you don’t need to use nick-names like “big old tentacles” just to make yours sound better-the post would have been fine without that. And the other posts that put down smaller labias, there was no need. You can voice your opinion without having to put anyone down. Obviously many people (including myself) came on here because they insecure about their labia and want to see what others preferences are, not to hear put-downs and nicknames.

    But besides all that, this thread really did made me feel better about myself. Until I read this, I didn’t realize that guys could actually like longer labia. My outer labia are just mid size I guess (not huge, but not teeny tiny) but my inner labia stick out. Sometimes it does get uncomfortable when I’m wearing jeans or they lay weird in my underwear but I just got used to it. I honestly don’t really remember when they grew like this, its like they just appeared lol. I just really hate the way they look and feel, they just really bother me. I just wish my inner labia weren’t so long, like if they didn’t hang out of my outer labia then I wouldn’t mind but I can’t do anything about it. I have never seen other girls labias in person, just pics online and there are so many different types. I’m 19 and no one has gone down on me yet (because I’m so insecure about this, I try to avoid that and just skip to the main event)but I have been fingered and I always wonder if they can feel them when they finger me, or when they first get down there. I feel like my inner labia do get in the way and I have had to spread them apart myself/move them. But I have recently noticed the more wet you get down there the easier they spread apart. If he can bring a good foreplay and get me wet, there’s no need for either of us to have to move them :)

  45. Angela Goodnight Says:

    My partner and I fell in love long before he saw my labia or I saw his penis. I guess that when we did get our eyefuls we were both happy. Now, whether that means he likes my mid-sized labia as a genre and I like 6.5 inch uncut penises, who knows. I did have an affair with a man who was cut and it didn’t really affect me, but he seemed to miss out on some sensations.

    Blissfully happy with what I have and what my partner has and what we like about each other. Google my blog.

    Nothing else matters!

  46. Miss Tiff Says:

    I am 21 years old and had been with the same guy since I was 14. He never complained about my labia and always told me I was perfect. I still find myself insecure about them though. They stick out about an inch from my majora when I’m standing. They’re pink which I’m happy about and when I open them they kinda make the shape of a heart. I recently left him and have been talking to a guy who told me he loves giving oral. I never let my ex do that much because of how insecure I am. I am really hoping this guy loves them and will be happy no matter what. Mine used to get uncomfortable until I learned to tuck them into my outer lips so they didn’t hang. Now I can wear any underwear.

  47. Thee Says:

    I think the Dallas girl screwed up and cries inside at her other insecurities. Clearly she feels the need to let us and all the other people she shows it off too, know how cute her vagina is. I actually feel really bad for her. She told is that she loves to show it off herself… So, she must REALLY not like herself. The only thing she doesnt hate about herself is her vagina so she’s probably sleeping WITH quite the number of men because that’s all she thinks she has to offer. @dallas , I forgive you. For real.

    S0! Straight up, I really am not fond of my labia. At all. Like someone else had said, I don’t remember them growing I just known that at some point I realized they were large. I was just looking at them on day thinking all kinds of things. “Why are they stretchy looking? Why are they brown? Why aren’t they like tucked in? What the hell is a vagina typically supposed to look like anyway? Is this right? I wonder how many other girls look like this? Did I go years unconsciously pulling at myself or something? They hang. Why? I… Dont like this. Great small boobs and an awkward looking vagina.” These things still go through my head when I’m changing in a mirror.
    I go back and forth between not caring and thinking to myself things like, “it’s not a big deal. The guys you’ve been with have NOT EVER complain. You’re ex bf said he liked them
    a lot, you’re fine. Shut up”, to “Ew. Why do I have to have these things hanging from me. I already have to deal with my boobs. They’re going to be bummed when the see my boobs(although I like my shape) and have to adjust their eyes when they see my (Dane cook large labia reference here)high school play curtains.
    They’re so ugly. And wrinkly. I just need them cropped. I hate looking in the mirror”.

    I go back and forth on how to feel about them. I hear so many negative jokes about them. The other day my guy friends were talking about whether they prefer shaven or bald (I hate the word pussy).. Pussies. CLEAN, and GROOMED was unanimous. The they started on lip size. I just ha ha’d and stayed balls deep into my phone like I didn’t care about the subject, but I was listening quite intently. They never really quite said that they prefer the… Ill just say porn vagina because I honestly don’t really know what adjectives to use when talking about one that isn’t like mine. I can only think of the words “pretty in pink/ tucked away or plain” and those aside from “pretty” sound negative. ( I’m sorry I can be discursive.)
    So the guys never came right out and said they prefer porn- like pussies or described why they would or do. They just made jokes about ones with larger labiaed(word?) ones. The play curtain joke came up as well as the beef curtain joke. At one point I was actually laughing, but I was hoping they wouldn’t ask me which set I was working with myself. Thankfully the didnt. But I felt so abnormal and insecure about myself. Like “damn. I really have a problem, but if either of them got with me I doubt they’d zip back up and leave. Not that that’s how I do things. Lol.

    I know Ive rambled, but I’d rather be more specific and open vs keep things short for the sake of space and time.

    The above comments made me feel SO much better. They truly did. And I honestly dont think ill stress too much worrying about whether a guy is going to go to go down on me, pop up then be like “NOPE! I forgot I have a dentist appointment” anymore.

    However, unfortunately. I still don’t think they’re at all attractive. Hanging there, brown and “used” looking.

    Like if I were a guy or lesbian and about to go down on a girl with labia as full as mine for the first time, I wouldn’t react like wtf, I’d be like “hmm. There’s just more to eat and taste…” ( And I HAVE been told I taste like candy lol. Ex bf coming up with awkward/funny things he’d imagine my gyno saying to me. )

    I think I started off with an intended point but I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts and perspective on my own pussy. My Pussy Perspectives. (Ugh that word. Right up there with moist. You see what I did there?)

    - have any of you heard of the Thought Catalogue #thoughcatalogue ? I want to write for them.

    K, I’m done. Sorry. Bye.
    (Didnt rescan for typos. Not tonight. Good luck)

  48. Thee Says:

    I should have scanned for typos. Please, comment back despite my grammar and literacy or lack thereof.

  49. Tony Says:

    As a man, I’m overwhelmingly more concerned with what kind of partner I’m with (personality, degree and quality of friendship, mutual degree of attraction and desire) than what kind of labia she has, how large her breasts are, or various other body parts that people seem to focus on. Her labia could be nonexistent, unusually large, or anywhere in between. While it is enjoyable to fantasize about different types of labia (and I do fantasize about different types), and I would be curious as to what giving oral to someone with longer labia would be like, it really doesn’t matter. Seriously.

    I’ve never seen labia that I didn’t like. A lot.

    I’m deeply saddened to read that anyone feels like their labia, or anything about them, isn’t “desirable”. Real men, in my humble opinion, care about what’s important. We may have preferences just like women (hair color, accent, clothing style, . . . the list goes on and on), but what really counts has nothing to do with the size of your labia. It has EVERYTHING to do with how much you enjoy your labia with your partner.

    This debate reminds me so much of the “penis size” debate. The people who have the strongest dislikes or say the meanest things are generally the people I wouldn’t want to be with anyway.

  50. Elizabeth Says:

    I also have a rather large and “roast beef” looking labia. I’m 23 and pretty and would have no problem getting a guy if it weren’t for my insecurities. I break off every relationship I’ve ever had by the time I’ve told them no, they can’t go down on me for so long before it turns into a big deal. They must notice, but I’m so ashamed I can even say how I feel. I feel like it’s ruining my chance for happiness. A little dramatic, I know, but that’s how much it affects my confidence. I want to find someone that doesn’t care, but in my generation that doesn’t seem possible. I’ve been researching labiaplasty, but there’s no way I could afford it anytime soon. What am I supposed to do? For my sanity I feel like something must be done.


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