Other peopleâ€™s dreams are never interestingâ€¦except when theyâ€™re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
I’m in a long term relationship and I’m very happy. I’ve had other relationships, but this is the first one that seems to click. The only problem is, I’m Jewish and he is the first man I’ve ever dated who is not the same religion. I keep having the same dream where I’m in my relationship, happy like I am now, but then meet a random stranger who has many of the qualities I look for in a man, but who also happens to be Jewish too. After meeting him, I leave my boyfriend and end up with the new guy. I don’t even feel guilty about it in the dream (though I feel very upset about it when I wake up). Does this mean I’ll leave him if I meet a Jewish guy?
Lauri: The dreams are not necessarily showing you the future, but are showing you an issue you need to deal with. They keep happening because you havenâ€™t yet reached a point in your heart and in your mind where religion doesnâ€™t matter to you. Trust me when I tell you, these dreams will keep nagging you until you reach a place of certainty. What this means is that it is time to do some very serious introspection. How important is religion to you, on a scale of 1 to 10? Will you feel comfortable going to Seders, Shul, etc. with him on your arm? Do you need him to convert before you would be completely comfortable? How much of a Jewish life do you live and plan on living? You mentioned your relationship is long-term, so his â€śgoynessâ€ť doesnâ€™t seem to be a deal breaker at this point.
Take it from a goyeh who married a wonderful Jewish man, from an Orthodox familyâ€¦ it can work! Weâ€™ve been very happily married for fifteen years with nary a problem. Sure, there was a bit of contention in our respective families in the beginning, but theyâ€™ve come around. That being said, the best way to make a recurring dream stop is to remove the issue that causes itâ€¦ your uncertainty. Like I mentioned before, itâ€™s time to do some very serious introspection so you can figure out if the religious difference is a deal breaker. And the best way to find out how you truly, deeply and honestly feel is to, once again, dream on it.
Your dreaming mind has shown you that this is indeed an issue for you at the moment. Now you need to ask your dreaming mind how much of an issue it is and is it something you can or are willing to overcome. Tonight at bedtime, write down your concerns and then write out a question you would like to ask your dreaming mind, as if it was your very own personal guru (which it is!). Then turn out your light, and as you drift off to sleep, think about it. This will ensure that your dreaming mind will work on this problem for you and give you some more directionâ€¦ if not an answer! Then let us know how it goes! Oh, and I do believe Em and Lo once posted a compatibility quiz. Why not take that as well as a first step.
Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And donâ€™t forget: you can get access to Lauriâ€™s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site.