The Virgin Diaries: The Top 10 Pros of Virginity

Our contributor Katherine Chen, once an English major at Princeton University (check out her personal site here), penned a series of confessions for EMandLO.com collectively called “The Virgin Diaries.” Here’s her eighth installment. Her ninth is Top 10 Cons of Virginity:

  1. If my period skips a month, it’s a cause for celebration, not despair. Living without the fear of becoming pregnant from my choices is extremely liberating.
  2. I don’t shoot up and I’m not worried about blood transfusions, so gonorrhea, chlamydia, HPV, AIDS, etc, have nothing over me.
  3. I can still imagine my first time being a mind-blowing sexual encounter (replete with orgasms and possibly even female ejaculation) rather than knowing it was a disappointment (like many of my non-virgin friends).
  4. From what I’ve gathered, college sex is not the most satisfying — with women’s orgasms and even pleasure not high on the list of many a male co-ed.
  5. By this point, I’m pretty much immune to any potential sexual peer pressure, and won’t easily give into doing anything I’m uncomfortable with.
  6. It makes my mom happy and helps keep the peace between us. She enjoys having bragging rights about her “virginal daughter,” and never fails to bring it up with family and friends.
  7. My heart is break-proof right now. I haven’t placed myself in a position of emotional risk by having sex with a man I might not realize doesn’t actually care for me.
  8. Being a virgin gives me the objective, outsider perspective on sex and relationships, which is invaluable when it comes to helping friends sort out their personal issues.
  9. You can be sexual without having partner sex (and suffering all its inherent risks). Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I blush at the thought of sex or wear white on a daily basis. Believe it or not, I enjoy masturbation, porn, and the occasional dirty joke.
  10. I get to write The Virgin Diaries!

Need convincing to CASH-IN your V-Card?
“Top 10 Cons of Being a Virgin” 


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41 Comments on "The Virgin Diaries: The Top 10 Pros of Virginity"


Me
22 days 1 hour ago

Being a virgin guy makes me feel like a demi-god. I feel like i’m unstoppable cos i’ve passed life’s most hardest self-discipline test.

Sangeeta
1 year 11 months ago

^^ Thank you Lily. Thank God someone replied to the virgin-shamers above. I like how slut-shaming is a bad thing in our society, but virgin-shaming is totally appropriate!

I’m a 24-year old virgin, waiting till marriage, and yes I am proud about it. I also think I’m a better feminist than the self-proclaimed “feminists” who believe there is only one way for a woman to be empowered.

And I haven’t had my heart broken despite being fond of guys I’ve dated – know why? Because giving them my body and giving them my heart are two linked actions. Yes, it really is that easy to guard your heart. We don’t reach adulthood with our virginity intact because we lack self-control! The best thing this particular life experience has given me is that I truly am immune to peer pressure – like Katherine – and I absolutely cannot be manipulated.

I am not going to fall head over heels in love because I know what real love is – it is something that builds slowly, after trust and friendship. Men have tried to sweep me off my feet before and failed at it. When love is there, marriage will come, and then my best friend and I will consummate our love together.

It just shows how ignorant, callous and limited you are if you don’t understand how intricately physical intimacy is linked to love and emotion for people like us. It’s disgraceful, misogynistic (yes, misogynistic) and completely ignorant.

Lily
4 years 6 months ago

I completely agree with Katherine, and her pros are also most of mine.
The people talking about heartbreak being removed from physical intimacy don’t seem to realise that – for some of us at least – sex is an expression of a deeper emotional intimacy, and your first time is something precious that deserves an equally deserving recipient. Heartbreak, especially if that person isn’t who they appear to be, is a huge factor of sex, and a reason many people choose to stay virgins for longer than average. Wise move.

Slartibartfast
4 years 7 months ago

This particular thread puts me in mind of Voltaire’s pronouncements, “It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue” and “God created sex. Priests created marriage.” To be sure, I’ve got my own issues and can hardly be considered a libertine but I think Monsieur Arouet had some good points.

Betty boo
4 years 7 months ago

@me.. do you actually like sex? Do you look at your husband with lust every day? do you dream about him? fantasise about him and leap on him just because the urge takes you? the reason I ask is all the talk about a man being ‘allowed’ sex, like it’s a treat doled out for good behaviour rather than something you do for you because you want him deeply both emotionally and physically.. because, believe me, when you meet that guy (and I really hope your husband is that guy for you) trust me, your previous lovers are not taunting (tainting?) your relationship. I can honestly say that when I’m with my boyfriend (who I live with, and plan on growing old with and raising children with) the guy I actually lost my virginity to (who I was at one time engaged to) could not be further from my mind.. If anything memories of former lovers just confirm how lucky I am now that I didn’t stick with my first :0)