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Archive | 2011

Blog Snog: Famous Kisses Throughout History

December 30, 2011

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Historic Naval homecoming kiss



“Bounce That Dick,” Feminist or Not?

December 30, 2011

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When we were sent a link to the new YouTube video “Bounce That Dick” on the Jenna Marbles channel, we didn’t know what to expect: some kind of safe-for-work sexual technique advice video by a porn star turned educator? Then, during the first 30 seconds, our hopes were raised, as the young “blogger and entertainer” began a rap parody, stating with much braggadocio, “I’ve been told since the day I started growing pubes to shake my ass. Well, guess what, my ass is fucking tired as shit. This time it’s your turn to wiggle your man junk for me. I wanna see you shake your muthafuckin penis, bitch.” Ever since we read Gloria Steinem’s essay “What If Freud Were Phyllis?” years ago, we’ve enjoyed the use of role reversals to expose sexism, racism, etc. But by the end of the vid, we were left a little cold…

Read the rest on SUNfiltered



Winners of a Great Rewrite-the-Ending Contest

December 29, 2011

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Through our friend, Lynn Harris, writer, co-creator of Breakup Girl, and now communications strategist for something called Breakthrough, we heard about a “Rewrite the Ending” contest (which ended last month):

Show of hands- How many of you wish that:

- Andy (Pretty in Pink) had ended up with Ducky?
- After Willy dies (Death of a Salesman), his wife gets a great sales job without having to play the “poor widow” card?
- When Simran’s father finally releases her hand (Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge), she runs for the train to Goa and finds happiness on her own?
- Ariel (Little Mermaid) had kept her voice and won American Idol.

In other words: How often have you been enjoying a book, movie, play, or TV episode…when all of a sudden things take a turn for the sexist, misogynist, needlessly violent, or worse? Have you ever wished you could jump into a story, shout at the characters, grab the pen (or keyboard) of the writer, and make it turn out the way you think it should?

Of course we have! So I (Lo) entered the contest (you could do it via Twitter, Facebook or email, from 140 characters up to a couple hundred words). Here was my entry:

In “The Taming of the Shrew,” as Petruchio uses reverse psychology to try to “tame” Katherina, his kindness and gentleness actually starts to rub off on him and he begins to really appreciate Katherina’s independence, fiery spirit and strong point of view, until he accidentally yet genuinely falls in love with her, so that it is HE who ultimately becomes the agreeable spouse. At the end, when the three sets of newlyweds are attending Baptista’s banquet, it is the three wives who propose a wager between them to see whose husband is the most egalitarian: Petruchio is the only one who engages with his wife as an equal, getting into a heated political debate with her in which they ultimately, amicably agree to disagree, and then he has no problem holding her satchel while she goes to the bathroom. Needless to say, Katherina wins the bet hands down.

Turns out, I won the Facebook category, woohoo! Here’s the winning Twitter entry by Tim_Flatman:

@Bell_Bajao Sleeping Beauty wakes up early, breaks 4th wall & critiques a narrative where it’s good to be kissed without consent #rewrite

You can read the long-form winner here — a reimagining of the ending to “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai” called “For The Love of Anjali” by Purva Dandona — along with two other great honorable mentions.

Honestly, I didn’t know anything about the sponsors of the contest — Breakthrough and Bell Bajou — I just loved the idea behind the contest. After I won, I asked Lynn what these organizations were all about and the relationship between the two of them. Turns out, they’re just as interesting as the contest itself:

Breakthrough (breakthrough.tv) is a global human rights organization that uses the power of pop culture, multimedia, and community leadership training to inspire people to take action for social change. We work out of centers in India and the U.S. on issues including domestic violence, immigration (see ICEDgame.com) and racial justice (see restorefairness.org). It all began with this awesome music video about a woman escaping domestic violence, the first to bring that issue into mainstream/pop culture in India.

Bell Bajao (“Ring the bell”) launched in India in 2008, calls upon men and young men to take a stand against domestic violence. It’s become our flagship campaign, combining award-winning — and culture-changing — TV ads with long-term training of Breakthrough “rights advocates” who work to challenge norms and challenge stereotypes in their own communities. This video describes the Bell Bajao campaign.

The goal is to bring human rights and human rights values — dignity, equality, justice — into mainstream culture and real lives. The key idea is that human rights start in small places — our homes, our relationships, our neighborhoods — and require not just laws, but people, to uphold them. By creating top-down, mass-media and on-the-ground, bottom-up change, we work to build a culture of human rights.

Oh, and if you love Alias/24/LOST/Rent/Margaret Cho, you might like our Facebook game, America 2049!

Good stuff.

• This post is a part of Sundance Channel’s SUNfiltered Blog
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A Refresher Course for Your New Year’s Kiss

December 29, 2011

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champagne_toast_glassesphoto by nimAdestiny

The midnight New Year’s kiss is the stuff that Hollywood movie climaxes are made of. Help yours live up to the hype by following these 15 rules:

  1. Even though it IS New Year’s, don’t expect a midnight kiss from your date. Remember, kissing is so intimate an act that not even Julia Robert’s hooker character in Pretty Woman would allow her johns to osculate her.
  2. That said, there’s nothing wrong with being prepared. Right before you leave the house, brush your tongue as well as your teeth and put a tin of mints in your pocket for a post-drinking pre-midnight touch up (gum is tacky). Because bad breath makes every other tip on this list moot.
  3. Oh, and moisturize – chapped lips are a bummer.
  4. But go easy on the glam gloss. We know it’s a festive New Year’s party, but three coats of red lipstick or thick sticky goo make you about as kissable as a bulldog with gum disease.
  5. Try to pick up on any signs that your date may not be into a midnight kiss (e.g. at 11:59pm they either excuse themselves to the bathroom, they are in the middle of an in-depth debate on Middle East politics with a group of nerds, or they make a plate with a big pile of spinach garlic dip). You can still try, just move slowly and give them a chance to turn you down. No swift “sucker punches.”
  6. Don’t lick your lips when going in for the kiss, lest you look like the Big Bad Wolf sizing up his next meal.
  7. Do not open your mouth so much wider than your partner’s that it appears as if you are trying to eat their head. Kissing is not a Mick Jagger impersonation contest, no matter what Maroon 5 says.
  8. Use restraint when it comes to tongue (i.e. don’t think of this as “tonsil hockey”). Keep it romantic at midnight and save the passion for 2am.
  9. No matter how much tongue you decide to use, keep it soft and flat, not pointy like an eel.
  10. Keep your salivation in check – sloppiness does not equate passion.
  11. Assuming you’re in the middle of a party, don’t let this become an extended public make-out session. If anyone yells “Get a room,” you’ve held the lip lock too long.
  12. It’s an over-the-top holiday so an over-the-top move like a dip is acceptable (again, so long as it’s clear your date is into the kiss in the first place).
  13. Grabbing someone’s face is romantic so long as you are not holding their head to keep them from pulling away.  Putting someone in a headlock so they cannot escape your kisser is not only rude, it is criminal.
  14. Savor the smooching and save the boob groping and crotch grabbing for a little later.
  15. If your kissee turns you down or pulls away quickly after just a peck, resist getting mad or pouty. Even if you are dying of humiliation or crying on the inside, maintain a cool and calm exterior. You can kill yourself later.

Happy New Year!



Comment of the Week: Worst. Presents. Ever.

December 28, 2011

1 Comment

Earlier this week, we asked you, “What’s the worst present you ever received from a romantic partner?” Here are some of our favorite responses from you. Merry fucking Christmas!

MarcieT Says:
December 22nd, 2011 at 9:17 am e
Not me, but my mother: Dad bought her a ShopVac for Christmas after 20+ years of marriage. Major fail. He no longer buys gifts without input from his 3 daughters.

Tealess Says:
December 22nd, 2011 at 9:39 am e
Not a holiday present but rather our first anniversary present. I was hoping for flowers, and maybe some lingerie, or jewelry – something romantic at least. Instead, I got a hat, and a pregnancy workout video.
We’re still married 20 years later, but it’s one of the few things he’s never been forgiven for.

Wendy Says:
December 22nd, 2011 at 2:49 pm e
My husband has never been entirely spot on or creative when it comes to gift giving in our 18 years of marriage. I have learned to expect anything other than what I would actually want when I open a present from him. This became pretty clear early on on our union. I can’t remember if it was our second or third Christmas together but it was early enough in our relationship that my expectations were still pretty hopeful and high. There were only two gifts for me under the tree when I woke up so I figured they must be pretty special and probably expensive. Talk about disappointment when I opened them and discovered a six pack of blank VHS tapes and a thermal travel mug from the Texaco station…both clearly purchased that morning. Over the years no gifts have been as bad (or worse) than those, but I can’t say they have greatly improved. Needless to say, I shop for myself now ;o)

H Says:
December 22nd, 2011 at 5:08 pm e
Autographed picture of Garth Brooks. (I am not a fan, it wasn’t cheap and we really could have used that $$ for living expenses at the time!)

RM Says:
December 22nd, 2011 at 10:08 pm e
Last year my stocking contained two items: a single egg-shaped candle and a can of sardines. I don’t even like sardines – I have never purchased them or even eaten them in front of my partner. I just have no idea.



20 Naughty New Year’s Resolutions

December 28, 2011

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photo by Derek Purdy

Here are twenty totally do-able New Year’s resolutions to improve your love life in 2011. Learn them, live them, love them!

  1. Ask for what you want.
  2. Keep learning new things.
  3. Let go of shame.
  4. Be a stickler about safer sex.
  5. Go for quality rather than quantity.
  6. Don’t hold grudges in your relationship.
  7. Believe in love (and lust) at first sight.
  8. Think outside the box.
  9. Consider the possibilities of household items (neckties, spatulas, etc).
  10. Drop the routine.
  11. Complain less.
  12. Compliment more.
  13. Do your Kegels (men too!).
  14. Send (more) love texts.
  15. Send (more) dirty texts (but no images!).
  16. Invest in at least one high quality sex toy.
  17. Reciprocate.
  18. Make out like you did in high school.
  19. Vow never to use Facebook, Twitter or texting as a means for breaking up.
  20. Watch less TV.

This column also appeared in print in Metro



The (Bisexual) Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

December 27, 2011

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In a review of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo  (the new U.S. version starring Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara), the US Weekly critic Mara Reinstein writes of Lisbeth Salander, “The brazenly bisexual, leather-clad, withdrawn title heroine…” Wait — brazenly what? What does it even mean to be brazenly bisexual? The phrase suggests that being bisexual is a sort of kink, something akin to playing with whips and chains or having sex in an adult diaper. A lifestyle choice, if you will. Or, perhaps…

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered



Wise Guys: What’s a Man’s Ideal New Year’s Eve?

December 27, 2011

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Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What’s your ideal New Year’s Eve?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Married Straight Guy (Ben D.): For a married guy, the kids are away at the grandparents’, and we’re either at a bar or big private party with a lot of our friends and plenty of booze.  Afterwards we all head to the hotel, which conveniently has a 24-hour pool and hot tub.  Then back up to the room to properly ring in the new year with the missus.  Essentially, getting a chance to party and be wild again, like you’re 25 with no responsibilities.  Best part about hooking up with your wife is no worries on STDs, pregnancy, or awkward moments in the morning.

Single Straight Guy (Scott Phrenetik): A good house party is really where it’s at for New Year’s Eve. There’s no need to go out somewhere super crowded and over-priced to ring in the new year. Additionally, the opportunity to meet new people is much greater in that kind of atmosphere and will better lend itself to finding someone to share a kiss with when the clock strikes midnight.

Single Gay Guy (Abraham Zeus Zapata): Reminiscing with family and friends early in the evening, heading home early to avoid drunk drivers, then having incredible sex while the big ball drips, I mean, drops.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Single Gay Guy is Abraham Zeus Zapata, an actor, writer and artist living in the Houston area; our Single Straight Guy is Scott Phrenetik, who moonlights as a DJ in Dallas; and our Married Straight Guy is Ben D., a former professional fighter who would now much rather spend time with his wife and baby son than get punched in the face by a sweaty man. To ask the guys your own question, click here.



Toward a 2012 Treaty in the Battle of the Sexes

December 26, 2011

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As you may have noticed (we’re not exactly subtle on this point), we don’t buy the idea that men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and shuttles between the two are infrequent at best. We tend to think that women and men are a lot more alike than rumor (or headline) has it — especially when it comes to sex and love. But this is not to say that men and women are alike in all matters of love and lust. We’ll even go so far as to admit that some of the cliches about the gulf between men and women turn out to be true.

For example, we have long preached that women need to be incredibly blunt when it comes to asking men for what they want — or telling them what they don’t want. When rebuffing a guy’s advances, a vague and round-about rejection might seem kind, but ultimate it probably just ends up giving him hope. In our opinion, dudes are just programmed to find the tiniest bit of hope in anything a woman says or does.

And now here’s a survey to prove our long-time, amateur-psych theory: Psychologists at the University of Texas and Williams College recently studied undergrad speed-daters and discovered a number of interesting things:

  • Men who considered themselves attractive overestimated a woman’s desire for them.
  • The more attracted the man was to the woman, the more likely he was to overestimate her interest in him.
  • Women consistently underestimated men’s sexual interest in them.

Looking for a new year’s resolution? Here are four, inspired by this study:

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered



Astrological New Year’s Resolutions: 12-26-11

December 26, 2011

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grandcentral_ceiling_421photo by Simply Schmoopie

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
The stars say that you’ll find your groove this week. Your New Year’s resolution: Make sure you’ve got a fabulous party to attend and aren’t wasting all that grooviness on dancing with yourself. Oh, oh, oh, oh, dancing with yourself.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
The stars can be so high and mighty — but that’s because they’re so far away. They see the big picture, they see what’s important. Unlike you, who can only see the total hottie in front of (or sitting on) your face. But be warned, falling for someone just for their looks will only end up biting you in the butt (regardless of whether your hottie is into heiney hickeys). Your New Year’s resolution: Be deeper than a kiddie pool.

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
Oh, this really cracks us up. The stars have a teeny-tiny recommendation for you this week: “Look for that person who will challenge your thoughts, change your world and blow your mind.” Yeah, like it’s really that easy. No big deal, right? Geez, and all this time we’ve been chasing dullards with no sex appeal. How come no one told us we should chase the catch of the day? Well, Gem, before you get all cocky like us, stop and think for a second: When was the last time you really went after someone you wanted bad, someone you thought you couldn’t get? Are you settling to avoid rejection? Do we sound like your shrink yet? Have you called your mother lately? Your New Year’s resolution: Shoot for the moon and maybe you’ll end up shagging a little star. And call your mother.

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
To paraphrase a line from one of Lo’s favorite movies, The Four Seasons: “Your thoughts are like gumballs that just drop down from your brain onto your tongue.” To put it less delicately, you’ve got diarrhea of the mouth when it comes your romantic emotions. Your New Year’s resolution: Remove feet from your diet completely. However, you can put a sock in it. Socks are okay.

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
When we look at your week, Leo, one phrase comes to mind: “Charming the pants off.” ‘Tis the season for you to be getting boo-tay! And it’s not just ’cause everyone’s too drunk to care who they get lucky with, we swear. You’re sparkling like your jacket is lined with Christmas lights, and everyone’s going to be lining up to sit on your knee and whisper what they really want for the holidays in your ear. Turns out Santa didn’t put out this year — but on New Year’s Eve, you can make up for that. Your New Year’s resolution: Let it all flow — the booze, the compliments, the sweet talking. Just let it flow. And carry condoms everywhere.

virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
You’ll be very popular this week — we’re talking Justin Bieber popular, the new iPhone popular, even Zhu Zhu Pet popular. You just have to get out and mingle. That means going to every New Year’s party you were invited to, as well as the one you wish you were invited to. Your New Year’s resolution: Party like it’s 1999!

libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
When someone asks you “Are you single?” don’t say “Yes, I’m alone.” That’s having a bad attitude. Listening to the song “One Is the Loneliest Number” on repeat when you don’t have a date for New Year’s Eve isn’t helping either. You’re not alone, you’re number one! Your New Year’s resolution: When you meet a hottie, focus on flirting, not gut-spilling. Save the woe-is-me for the second date.

scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
Your daisy-petal-picking technique for making important romantic decisions is getting old fast. Your wishy-washy behavior will turn the person you’ve been hanging out with running in the other direction. Your New Year’s resolution: Grow a spine.

sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)
This week, you’ll have more energy than a brand new puppy waiting for his walk. And you know how some people are dog people and others would rather piss on a fire hydrant in public than show a canine a little love? Well, the same goes for you: Your crotch-sniffing, drippy tongue act will be a little much for all the wrong people. But there’s one special person out there who’s going to just love it, and it’s gonna be just like that spaghetti scene in The Lady and the Tramp. Ain’t puppy love grand? Your New Year’s resolution: If you sense a kindred spirit in the room, go straight for the crotch. And stay off the furniture.

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
Remember that old Bryan Adams video? (No, not Ryan Adams, Bryan with “B” — yes, we’re that old.) Anyway, we’re talking about the video with the hottest pock-face in music standing at the bottom of an indoor pool, sans water. “Cut’s Like a Knife,” that’s it. The video had this woman change into her bathing suit, climb the ladder to the diving board, and then jump off into the concrete pool. Next we see her climb out of the pool, miraculously unscathed and soaking wet. Like magic. Still with us? Okay, you are the chick in the video. But you don’t have magical powers. So the next time you jump head first into the pool of love before checking whether or not there’s any water in it, you might end up seriously hurt. Your New Year’s resolution: Wait at least fifteen minutes after eating before you go swimming.

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
Don’t be so argumentative all the time. It’s the holidays — everyone’s too stuffed with tofurkey and Silk eggnog to give a shit about your debate-of-the-week right now. Can’t you just drop all the “issues” for a few days and think about getting laid like the rest of us? Your resolution for the week: Have another glass of wine and stay a while. Have you ever danced on a bar-top? Now is as good a time as any.

pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
You are wise to question your motives this week when it comes to love. Self-deception is likely. Whoever you are interested in will probably give you a false impression. Love triangles may cause problemos. Your New Year’s resolution: Give up geometry. You were never good at math.