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Comment of the Week: Sexuality Does Not Determine Integrity

Wed, Jan 19, 2011

Comment of the Week, Confessions

SEXUALITY DOES NOT DETERMINE INTEGRITY. PERIOD. And since faithfulness has it roots in integrity, sexuality doesn’t determine it any more than race, hair color, height, gender, etc. Each individual makes a CONSCIOUS decision as to whether or not they are going to be faithful.

I’m straight and married to a bi-sexual, and I “hang” just fine. Also if a person has no interest in being faithful, then whatever the sexuality of their partner is, it’s not going to have any bearing on whether or not they (the bi-sexual) is going to be faithful. Straights cheat on straights, gays on gays, bi’s on bi’s, straights on bi’s, bi’s on straights, gays on bi’s, etc. However, there are also faithful straights, gays, and bi’s, and they don’t all have partners of the same orientation.

Being faithful is right along the same lines as being honest, and I’d hate to think anyone believes all bi’s are liars, or all gays or liars, or all straights are liars. We’re all adults here, shouldn’t we be past the whole stereotyping bs by now? Haven’t we learned better?

Spes, responding to the post “Your Call: I Can’t Handle My Boyfriend’s Bisexuality”

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One Response to “Comment of the Week: Sexuality Does Not Determine Integrity”

  1. Dave W Says:

    I didn’t weigh in on this topic initially ‘cuz it’s a hot potato, but I guess I will now. I agree with Spes that sexuality does not determine integrity. I also envision some future survey being released that shows statistically significant differences in the rates of cheating amongst straights, gays and bis, with accompanying outrage. The explanation, I believe, is that there are various factors involved before cheating happens. I think that the different communities in question have roughly equal levels of integrity, but even that can be called into question because not just sexuality, but also culture influences integrity.

    But more so than that, for someone departing from integrity and considering cheating, it’s the follow-through that counts. In my opinion, major factors like opportunity and libido, etc. could account for differences in follow-through and therefore rates of cheating.

    However, all that stuff isn’t what matters most to me. We’re talking about people who lack integrity, and I really don’t care to defend them, or to allow them to stain the reputation of the rest of their community. There have been plenty of studies that show community X exhibits more of negative behavior A, and I don’t want that to affect how I approach a member of that community or what I think of them as a whole. ‘Nuff said.


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