Given how much it takes out of a person simply to approach a stranger at a bar, let alone get their number or ask them out, it seems unfair that youâ€™ve then got to plan the perfect date, too. Unfortunately going to Disneyland isnâ€™t usually a viable option — and neitherâ€™s Dollywood, which is too bad, because we think that would make an awesome first date.
- The most important rule of first dates is to keep it simple. A date that is too long or too complicated or overly planned is likely to put off your companion for any number of reasons –youâ€™ll seem desperate or pushy or controlling or just plain weird. Plus, youâ€™ve got to save something for later.
- Second, itâ€™s mean and underhanded to to make the first date some kind of â€śchallengeâ€ť in order to figure out how daring your date is or how hot they look in a bathing suit or how intelligently they can comment on abstract art — save that for the third or fourth date. However, itâ€™s perfectly acceptable to choose a first date that highlights one of your own skills — on the pool table, in a museum, navigating a certain neighborhood (e.g. dim sum in Chinatown followed by bubble tea at a little tea shop around the corner).
- Third, the date should not involve some activity that precludes conversation (for example, the opera, the library, a deafening rock concert, or an obnoxiously loud bar). But nobody wants to spend an entire evening in an empty room with nothing but conversation to fill the space, either — thatâ€™s not a date, thatâ€™s a police interrogation! Instead, find activities that offer a mild distraction and some potential to spark conversation. For example, a mosh pit hardly screams “romance,” but a low-key concert in a small local bar is ideal. (Just avoid folk music — thatâ€™d kill even John Mayer’s sex drive.)
- On a final note, when making plans together, donâ€™t be bossy about your suggestions, but donâ€™t be wishy-washy either: “I don’t care, whatever you want” is never a good answer to any question.