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Archive | February, 2011

Dream Interpretation: He Tells Me He Loves Me

February 28, 2011


photo by holisticmonkey

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I’m currently seeing a guy, X, for the past month and a half and things have been amazing! Chemistry is great, sex is phenomenal; basically I’m on cloud number 9. But because of a previous abusive relationship I was in, I sometimes feel very insecure and my imagination gets the worst of me when, for example, he doesn’t reply to my messages right away. I’ve been losing a lot of sleep because of the stress but two nights ago I had a really nice dream. X and I were sitting in the back seat of a cab and he whispers that he loves me. I open his palm and with a red marker I write “I <3 U T” which I’m figuring means I love you too. We then just look at each other and smile. We haven’t said the I love yous yet and another point which may or may not be relevant is that I usually dream in black and white. Occasionally I get one color in, like the red in this dream. What does it mean? Thanks! –PL

Lauri: Far too often, people that have been abused or betrayed in past relationships bring the pain with them into current and future relationships, which is unfair. Why punish a current relationship for the sins of a former relationship? Your inner mind knows better than this and is therefore trying to help you through this dream.

In your dream you are sitting in the back of a cab together. That is a good sign that you two are equal in this relationship since neither one of you is behind the wheel. He whispers “I love you” because you know, deep down, he does even though he hasn’t “voiced” it in real life. It is a whisper of knowledge within you.

You then open his hand. This could represent the fact that you want him to “open up” to you and actually say it, as that may offer you more security in the relationship. None the less, your dream is reassuring you that this is likely to happen because you write that you love him too on his palm and the palm represents the future, hence palm readings. Also, it may suggest that he’s got you in the palm of his hand… you totally dig him, don’t you? But this does make me wonder if the past, abusive relationship was physically abusive, in which case his hand could represent what you fear but that you are now beginning to trust.

Whatever the case, the loving smile at the end of the dream is the most important element as that is the reassurance your inner self is giving you that this relationship is good and there is no need for stress and worry… so relax my dear.

Oh! One last thing, you mention that most of your dreams are in black and white. The truth is that we dream in color. If you see in color your dreams will be in color too. However, muted colors or grey-toned dreams are a sign of depression. If this is the case with you, you may want to talk to your doctor about that. Life can be wonderful, no need to go through it in a cloud of grey.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site.

Design Your Own Sex Toy, Win Fame and Cash!

February 28, 2011


Remember when we told you guys about a new sex toy called the Sqweel? It’s an oral sex simulator that was launched back in 2009 with all the pomp and hype of a new Apple product — we were sent a free sample in advance only once we were sworn to secrecy, which made us feel kind of like the James Bonds of the sex toy world (but with a better gadget!). And we have to say, despite having a name that sounds like a ride at your local county fair, the toy totally delivered. Well, the Sqweel was the winner of LoveHoney.co.uk’s Design a Sex Toy competition that year. And their 2011 competition is now accepting entries! Closing date is June 30, 2011.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Blog Snog: A Movie Review of “Orgasm Inc.”

February 25, 2011


Sexy Period Underwear, For Reals

February 25, 2011


Here’s the story of the birth of a business: Two women at Brown University take a class on entrepreneurship, join forces for a class project on writing a business proposal, try to think of a real problem that needs a solution, and come up with panty-accidents during menstruation. They post surveys in the women’s restrooms on campus, find that this is an issue for 60% of the female population, and get back a lot of positive feedback on the possibility of an underpant made specifically as a tampon/pad backup for that time of the month (e.g. “Holy shit. Please make these!”). So after graduation in 2009, they do, sending out over 200 prototype pairs to volunteer testers over the past few years in order to create the right fabric (consisting of 2 absorbent layers closest to the body which capture and wick liquid and 1 leak resistant layer furthest from your body that traps spills and prevents leaks — black, of course, so there’s no need to worry about stains). Now SexyPeriod.com has recently launched and is selling three designs (patent-pending) in three different shapes each (these aren’t your rainy day granny panties), all in the $30 to $40-something range.

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Your Call: How to Make Role-Playing Less Renn Fair?

February 25, 2011


photo by h.koppdelaney

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below:

Dear Em & Lo,

My partner really wants to try role-playing, but that’s so not me. I’ve never acted, I hate public speaking, and forget about karaoke! I’d like to try new things and I want to make fulfill my partner’s fantasies, but god, acting in bed? It makes me blush and cringe just thinking about it. I know I’ll freeze up, or worse, start cracking up. Is there anything I can do to make it less painful for me?

- Stage Fright

What should SF do?

Repro Rights Rally in NYC Saturday

February 24, 2011


On February 18, 2011, the U.S. House of Representatives voted to bar Planned Parenthood health centers from all federal funding for birth control, cancer screenings, HIV testing, and other lifesaving care! Just check out this funny but horrifying Daily Show summary. Here’s what you can do about it. First, you can sign PP’s open letter to every single representative in the House who voted for this crazy law, and to every senator who still has a chance to stop it. Next, check your local chapter to see what local events they might have planned soon to send a much needed message to DC. If you’re in NY, you can go to the Rally for Women’s Health in Foley Square in NYC (several chapters throughout the state are sponsoring buses down to the event). Here are the details:

Time: 1:00 PM – 3:00 PM
Address: Foley Square, Across from the Court House in Lower Manhattan between Lafayette St. & Centre St.

Read the full post on SUNfiltered

How to Survive a Blind Date in 6 Easy Steps

February 24, 2011


photo by paris_corrupted

The blind date is alive and well, thanks to online dating and well-intentioned grandmothers. But what if your blind date turns out to be a loud talker with halitosis and a goiter? Given the odds, it’s amazing that otherwise intelligent beings ever agree to a blind date. Call it hope triumphing over experience. Or maybe you’ve just got a soft spot for your grandmother. Whatever got you there, remember that by agreeing to the date, you’re bound by a social contract to act nicely, regardless of the growth the size of a football protruding from your date’s neck.

  1. There are several ways to ease the inevitable pain of the blind date. First, plan it with care. No dinner (too long), no movies (too anti-social), no weekend getaways to Niagara Falls (too freaking weird). Just one coffee, one drink, or one quick bite on your lunch break — the operative word here being ONE. It’s way easier to extend a date on the fly than it is to cut one short. If either of you is a fan of pool or darts, then you’re in luck: Both activities allow for conversation while providing a mild distraction if that conversation should prove to be less than scintillating.
  2. Set up your escape route beforehand: Have somewhere to be later. It makes a bad date more bearable if you have something pleasant to look forward to. And let your date know up-front that you’ll eventually have to dash, so they don’t take it personally when you do. If things are going really well, why not be old-fashioned and save something for the second date — delayed gratification always makes things hotter.
  3. Once the blind date has begun, you have to let it play out. We think 45 minutes minimum is a nice gesture. Think of it as a deal with Cupid: You give up 45 minutes for the chance to meet the love of your life (or at least get the best sex of your life). If this doesn’t happen, well, sucks to be you. But you’ve still got to make good on your end of the deal. Call it karma. And no, staying until you finish your drink is not leading someone on, it’s simply the nice thing to do.
  4. As is being attentive for that 45 minutes. We don’t care if you realize within the first 30 seconds you have no desire to know or do this person. Rudeness is not the right way to let them know you’re not interested. At the very least, turn the encounter into a learning experience — they must know something you don’t (capital cities in the southern hemisphere, perhaps?). Just because a human interaction is an isolated occurrence, doesn’t make it meaningless or worthless.
  5. Which means, yes, you can’t excuse yourself to the bathroom and never come back. You can’t fake anything: a cramp, a food allergy reaction, an epileptic attack, a bad case of the runs. You can’t have a friend call you with an “emergency” — this trick has been done to death. And you definitely can’t have any friends stop by to “save” you.
  6. There are only two exceptions to the 45 minute rule: when your date is a pants-on-fire liar or a complete ass. Maybe they posted a decades-old photo online or exaggerated their weight by, oh, a hundred pounds. (Note: a couple of extra pounds, a few missing inches, or a change in sideburn length does not count.) Or maybe they’re a racist or a sexist or a homophobe. In any of these cases, feel free to say you’ve been mislead or are uncomfortable, and then hit the road. In all other cases, suck it up and suck down that drink.

This column also appeared in print in Metro

Dear Dr. Vanessa: Doc Told Me I Have a Tiny Cervix

February 23, 2011

1 Comment

photo by eclaire

Every few weeks, Dr. Vanessa Cullins, a board-certified obstetrician/gynecologist and vice president for medical affairs at Planned Parenthood® Federation of America, will be answering your questions here. To ask her your own question, click here.

Dear Dr. Vanessa,

I’m 24, and have not yet had any children. At my last gynecological exam, the clinician remarked that I have “the tiiiiiniest cervix!” I didn’t ask anything about it at the time, but now I’m wondering, is this something I should be concerned about? Will I have a difficult time giving birth?

– Tiny Dancer

Dear T.D.,

Please don’t let this clinician’s remark bother you. The remark may be more a reflection of the inexperience of the clinician than the size of your cervix. Regardless, having a small cervix does not mean that you will have a difficult time giving birth. You do not need any special evaluation or procedure because of this “lame” comment. Cervical size varies, but one thing is for sure, your cervix is small because you have not had any vaginal deliveries.

The cervix is the narrow, lower part — neck — of the uterus, with a narrow opening connecting the uterus to the vagina. A woman’s menstrual flow leaves the uterus through the opening of the cervix, which is called the os. Optimally, a pregnant woman’s cervix is long, thick, and firm so that it can provide support to keep the pregnancy within the uterus as well as to stretch open wide enough to facilitate childbirth. During pregnancy, the os is also plugged with cervical mucus to protect the pregnancy. Read the rest of this entry »

Naked News: Justin Bieber Doesn’t Stand with Planned Parenthood

February 23, 2011


photo by Stephen Eckert

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Dream Interpretation: My Ex Was Attacked by Pirates

February 22, 2011


Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had a very weird and vivid dream last week involving two men that I have been involved with in the past few years. First I dreamed about an old friend of mine that I have hooked up with a few times in the last year — and stopped after he said he wanted to keep a friendship. I dreamed that I saw him rowing at a regatta, and then I looked down and saw a giant gash on my chest (on the left side of my sternum). I was on the other side of the bay getting it stitched up, when I saw pirates row up the boathouse of the regatta and invade the regatta. Since I was far away, there was nothing I could do but watch, while someone stitched me up. Very odd, I know.

Later on that night, I had a SECOND dream. I was with a girl friend and we went to a dating seminar. Sitting behind me was my ex-boyfriend who broke up with me over a year ago. He pretended he didn’t see me, and didn’t make eye contact. The seminar instructor was asking everyone about their last relationship and why they broke up, and my ex said that he broke up with me because I was too much of a tomboy. I got very upset with this, but apparently no one else in the class heard him speak and everyone ignored me when I protested.

Lauri: Our dreams can be so helpful to our relationships…or lack thereof. I believe your dreams are helping you to understand why these two relationships ended. Being armed with that knowledge is sure to help you with any future relationships.

In your first dream, the guy who decided to keep you in the friend zone is in a rowing competition. In my research, I’ve found that any form of boat in a dream can often be connected to a romantic relationship. He’s on the other side of the bay, so that is reflective of the fact that he distanced himself from you in real life and that ship has sailed, so to speak. That is why you then discover a gash on your chest. Your chest is where the heart is and therefore represents where you hold your feelings. When he put you in the friend zone, he metaphorically tore at your heart. The fact you were getting stitched up is a good sign that you are getting over it just fine. The pirate invasion is your inner realization that, you were just a “booty” call after all, so you shouldn’t be too torn up about it. The message of this first dream should be read in the voice of dear ol’ Mom: Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free?

In your second dream you are at a dating seminar with your ex-boyfriend sitting behind you. The fact that he is behind you in the dream means he is in your past, that which needs to be put “behind” you. Since he’s right behind you in the dream, he may not be far enough behind you in the past just yet, and therefore he still is in your thoughts somewhat.

His pretending that he doesn’t see you may be connected to YOUR pretending the breakup still doesn’t bother you. Be honest and ask yourself if that is the case. The question the instructor asks everyone in the dream is really a question you are asking yourself in this dream — dreams are a conversation with the self, after all. Why did your last relationship break up? That is a very healthy and introspective question to ask yourself! The answer you get, even though you protested it, is something you need to ponder. “You are too much of a tomboy.” Are you? If not, then ask yourself if you were too dominant or assertive in that relationship. Even if you wear skirts and pink, fluffy sweaters, did you play the male role? The message of this second dream is: If being in charge is your M.O., then you need yourself a man who’s happy in the passenger seat.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site.