The blind date is alive and well, thanks to online dating and well-intentioned grandmothers. But what if your blind date turns out to be a loud talker with halitosis and a goiter? Given the odds, itâ€™s amazing that otherwise intelligent beings ever agree to a blind date. Call it hope triumphing over experience. Or maybe youâ€™ve just got a soft spot for your grandmother. Whatever got you there, remember that by agreeing to the date, youâ€™re bound by a social contract to act nicely, regardless of the growth the size of a football protruding from your date’s neck.
- There are several ways to ease the inevitable pain of the blind date. First, plan it with care. No dinner (too long), no movies (too anti-social), no weekend getaways to Niagara Falls (too freaking weird). Just one coffee, one drink, or one quick bite on your lunch break — the operative word here being ONE. Itâ€™s way easier to extend a date on the fly than it is to cut one short.Â If either of you is a fan of pool or darts, then youâ€™re in luck: Both activities allow for conversation while providing a mild distraction if that conversation should prove to be less than scintillating.
- Set up your escape route beforehand: Have somewhere to be later. It makes a bad date more bearable if you have something pleasant to look forward to. And let your date know up-front that youâ€™ll eventually have to dash, so they donâ€™t take it personally when you do. If things are going really well, why not be old-fashioned and save something for the second date â€” delayed gratification always makes things hotter.
- Once the blind date has begun, you have to let it play out. We think 45 minutes minimum is a nice gesture. Think of it as a deal with Cupid: You give up 45 minutes for the chance to meet the love of your life (or at least get the best sex of your life). If this doesnâ€™t happen, well, sucks to be you. But youâ€™ve still got to make good on your end of the deal. Call it karma. And no, staying until you finish your drink is not leading someone on, itâ€™s simply the nice thing to do.
- As is being attentive for that 45 minutes. We donâ€™t care if you realize within the first 30 seconds you have no desire to know or do this person. Rudeness is not the right way to let them know youâ€™re not interested. At the very least, turn the encounter into a learning experience â€” they must know something you donâ€™t (capital cities in the southern hemisphere, perhaps?). Just because a human interaction is an isolated occurrence, doesnâ€™t make it meaningless or worthless.
- Which means, yes, you canâ€™t excuse yourself to the bathroom and never come back. You canâ€™t fake anything: a cramp, a food allergy reaction, an epileptic attack, a bad case of the runs. You canâ€™t have a friend call you with an “emergency” â€” this trick has been done to death. And you definitely canâ€™t have any friends stop by to “save” you.
- There are only two exceptions to the 45 minute rule: when your date is a pants-on-fire liar or a complete ass. Maybe they posted a decades-old photo online or exaggerated their weight by, oh, a hundred pounds. (Note: a couple of extra pounds, a few missing inches, or a change in sideburn length does not count.) Or maybe theyâ€™re a racist or a sexist or a homophobe. In any of these cases, feel free to say youâ€™ve been mislead or are uncomfortable, and then hit the road. In all other cases, suck it up and suck down that drink.