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Wise Guys – What’s the Male Consensus on Period Sex?

Tue, Feb 22, 2011

Advice, Wise Guys

photo by greenchartreuse

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks,”What’s the general male consensus on period sex?

Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): Period sex, like most forms of sex, falls into the category of sure, why not. The truth is we are generally happy to be having sex, even if it’s a bit messy at times. It also comes down to a level of comfort. Often when you are comfortable in a relationship, this is something that is not a huge deal. On the flip side, if it’s the first time, it might be better to wait a bit before leaving a permanent mark on the boudoir. At the end of the day, sex is sex is sex and it’s all good. Period.

Straight Married Guy (David Jacobs): Limits the menu somewhat and helps to have a dark towel handy, but that said I’m fine with it. Period. I know some women I’ve been with I’ve been with seemed a little skeeved by it, but I always suspected there was really something else going on. After all, sex is supposed to be messy, right? But menstrual blood is a pretty primal reminder of the whole cycle, and of the possibility of impregnation, which (alas) probably weighs a bit heavier in most women’s minds. That said, I doubt most guys feel strongly about it. Bad metaphor, but why look a gift horse in the mouth? We’re usually just thankful to be getting some.

Gay Single Guy (Jay Dyckman): What is period sex?¬† Is that like when you tell someone ‚ÄúYou and I are having sex.¬† Period.‚ÄĚ?¬† If so, I am all for that.¬† If it has to do with a certain monthly ritual, uh, not so much.¬† I guess it depends on how nice your sheets are. I like “True Blood” and all too but let‚Äôs not go crazy.

Our ‚Äúwise guys‚ÄĚ are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is David Jacobs, a NYC-based photographer; our Gay Guy is Jay Dyckman, an LA copywriter; and our Single Straight Guy is Tyler Barnett of Tyler Barnett PR in LA. To ask the guys your own question, click here. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

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27 Responses to “Wise Guys – What’s the Male Consensus on Period Sex?”

  1. Claire Says:

    It always amazes me that there are men who won’t have period sex b/c “it’s gross” but will do anal (and some who are even fixated on it). The vagina is pretty self-cleaning and period blood doesn’t have the bacteria, etc. that feces does…and even if a woman (or man’s) anal cavity is free from feces, it still has that bacteria present…So why are periods gross, but anal isn’t?

    I knew a man once (not a lover) who loved to rim both men and women, but would not have period sex with a woman b/c it was “unclean”. WTF?

    Not knocking anal, as I have enjoyed both giving and receiving, just saying there seems to be a logical disconnect to me.

  2. Elizabelibby Says:

    This is a cultural question…. there are cultures (Arab for example) where many men believe that women are unclean when they are having their period. This is not a religious thing it is cultural and frankly frustrating for an American woman who is used to men like the ones who have commented above.

  3. vizsalvr Says:

    I think period sex is gross. It’s messy and I just don’t like it. I’m a woman and I don’t think I’m “unclean” when I’m menstruating. I just don’t enjoy it. It’s four days a month. No big deal.

  4. Madamoiselle L Says:

    I want to thank the Wise Guys for their comments. My Man feels the same way, (Jay, hilarious comment, BTW. Thanks for weighing in. ;) )

    I figured out that if we didn’t have sex while I was having a period (which My Man doesn’t mind at all and in fact talked me into many years ago) we would go an average of 84 days a year with NO sex! That’s too much time without sex for both of us. So, we get the maroon king size sheet and the maroon old raggy towel, and if it gets messy, we’re both washable. Take a hot bath beforehand, and there is little more mess than any other time of the month.

    I don’t see the problem. Menstrual fluid is mostly mucous anyway, only a small part of it is actually blood. (OK some people are grossed out by mucous. That’s what female arousal fluid at least in part is very similar to. That isn’t gross in any adult’s book.)

    I’m glad My Man is an adult and doesn’t have a problem with menstrual sex, as I not only really want to have sex a lot during my period, but climaxing really helps my cramps and my mood. That should be enough to make all but the most skeevish people want to do it then.

    Mileage, like many things.

  5. RTS Says:

    In the days before birth control pills were widely used, this is the time most girls were eager to have sex. During this time, they felt safe having sex with no condoms getting in the way of total feeling. I remember in the 60′s a lot of girls eagerly calling to say their period had started and they were eager to spend the evening in bed and not out on a date. A lot of towels to launder, but, kind of fun to pull the string and un-plug them…back then most girls used tampons.

  6. Slartibartfast Says:

    Period sex has absolutely never been a problem for me, although it was a bit of a shock the first time. I didn’t know she was having her period and when I went into the bathroom I had an instant of panic (“Medic!”). When I realized the red was hers and not mine, I figured out what was going on and all was well.

    Most of the women I’ve known were pretty into period sex. Well, they were generally more into sex, period. Plus, they said it helped with their cramps. As a giver by nature, I was happy to help.

  7. Madamoiselle L Says:

    Slart, you are right. A woman SHOULD warn her partner she is menstruating. Although not “Gross” it is something a woman needs to tell her partner before he gets his face or his Manhood in there.

    That’s just good sexual etiquette.

    :)

  8. Black Irish Says:

    I totally agree with telling your man about you menstrating. It was a bit of a shock the first time I had sex with my GF when she was on her period at how much blood there was on us.
    She says and I’m surprised that no one else has mentioned this but she says she has alot more feeling when she is on her period its like extra sensitive for her which she happens to like alot. So im happy to make her wish come true. I even earned my red stripes the first time we tried it.

  9. jazzmina22 Says:

    Props to open-minded guys who are not bothered by it, but I don’t even know how some women can WANT to have sex on their period. For me it would be totally physically uncomfortable! I tried it a couple times but since then have always said no.

    And seriously people, a few days of anticipation never hurt anyone. Once I dated a guy that was so used to women saying yes to it, he actually got mad when I said ‘no thanks’. He tried to tell me it would make my cramps better! My reaction was, ‘Ew! Do you really understand whats happening in my body right now? Friction is definitely NOT going to make me feel better!’

    So please gentlemen, respect when the lady-parts need a break.

  10. jazzmina22 Says:

    okay, i just read the ‘unplug them’ comment by RTS. That is totally freaking disgusting.

  11. Brittnee Says:

    My last boyfriend got me into period sex, and he would “un plug” lol at first i found that disgusting but after awhile it didn’t bother me. I found sex is super amazing during that time everything is more sensitive. But my new boyfriend doesn’t want to touch me during that time. I’m finding it very frustrating cause my hormones are through the roof!! I want to jump him when I see him. But I can’t. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t want his fun, but I find that so selfish!!

  12. Drfowl07 Says:

    My boyfriend is super understanding. The moment I knew he was the one was when I started my period at his house in the middle of the night and it got on his beige sheets and absolutely ruined them. The next morning when I realized what happened he said its no but deal honey. We can get new sheets! I fell in love right then!! We have period sex every now and then but he doesn’t push it and I don’t push it, if we’re in the mood we go for it if not that’s perfectly fine too. It should be a mutual thing and if one person is uncomfortable then let it be.

  13. Artemis Says:

    my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time and then a few days later I had my period and I know most girls don’t want to do it during their periods, let alone after doing it for the first time but I was so horny I wanted to jump him. He didn’t mind and it was so amazing we did it every day because I was in to it as much as him. He wasn’t thrilled about the mess but he didn’t care because I was more abandoned then usual which he loved

  14. Alida Says:

    m,y man wont even touch me in any way that might contrued as sexual so long as I’m on my period. This has been going on for four years. Itell him how it hurts my feelings, and its just blood, its not a big issue and he still freaks out and makes me feel miserable and tells me ‘its not me, it’s him. Dont make his problem my problem’ excuse me? HOW CAN I NOT!?!?!?!? He’s a really great guy and we have awesome sex, just not when that crimson wave comes around. I’m going crazy and I don’t know what to do anymore. We talk, we talk, we fight, we don’t have sex, sometimes we do, and usually he wont touch me with a 10 foot pole. I’m not mean or cranky when I’m on my period all I want to do is hang out, cuddle, kiss, and let it go to sex. Is feeling like I hate myself, disgusting, and undesirable an overraction to this?

  15. S.W. Says:

    Alida,
    Wow. That is pretty major. I think some guys will always be weirded-out by the V, in a way. You know, loving it and not. Then throw blood into the mix, many men cannot think of it in a sexual way when its bleeding. Unfortunately, some people think of childbirth or other extremes just because if the nature of blood. It may be his complex, don’t let that discourage u. Just give him a few days break during that time and hope he comes around on his own.

  16. experienced Says:

    alida,
    yes i agree with the last post. that is pretty major. ive been there i think. seems that you have low self esteem and you are wanting his acceptance. (so sorry if im wrong)…sometimes through sex maybe? does he make you feel happy in other ways? do u feel secure with him otherwise? sounds like its really bothering you a lot. im sorry :( hope you get it worked out.

  17. LEE Says:

    WOMEN CAN GO to there doctor the new shot they have is available where you can get your period once a year or every 6 months . Stop complaing periods are no big deal anymore thanks to science

  18. Michelle Says:

    My husband and I regularly have sex during my period. It helps my moods and it helps my cramps – I’m also incredibly horny during my period. He used to take my tampon out for me (the intimacy of that is amazing) but now I find if we keep a small tampon in he can push it up across my cervix and we can have blood free sex. Just remember to hook it out immediately afterwards and replace it. You really don’t want to forget about it. Shower sex is great too.
    By the way, a good orgasm will produce uterus spasms which clear out a whole load of period blood – so wear an extra large tampon or towel afterwards! You’ll notice your period is over quicker!! Yay!!

  19. K Says:

    Bloodless sex is possible at that time of the month if you use an instead softcup. I also prefer them to tampons and pads even when I am not doing the deed, since they do not have to be changed nearly as often and they don’t dry out the vag’ or chafe. Sometimes you can even “forget” you are on the rag.

    http://www.softcup.com/

  20. dallas Says:

    I’ve had period sex a few times and to be honest I’m not too crazy about it. I’m hornier than usual a few days before my period, but as for having sex during, it’s uncomfortable for me and I feel anything but sexy. It just feels like nothing should be up there during that time except tampons. Of course toward the end of my period its not as bad but the first couple of days, forget it! Another thing that I’m surprised no one has mentioned is the odor. Period blood doesn’t exactly have a pleasant smell, particularly the last couple of days. I’m not sure if that’s a non-factor for most people but it sure is for me.

  21. Vampire Says:

    I find that the mere thought of having sex during her period will give an instant hard on. We have always combined the mess with another thing I enjoy.
    I love to watch my lady apply lipstick, the more the better, and the redder the better, and then while we have sex we do deep kissing and I have the intense pleasure of smearing and kissing her lipstick off, sometime she even put reapplies it if it disapears to fast. This combined with a heavy blood flow is a real turn-on and blood is not the only thing that flows heavily.

  22. ValerinaJS Says:

    K –

    I’m so glad you brought up Softcup… I ordered a sample pack a couple weeks ago and I’m really excited to try it out tomorrow when I stay with my boyfriend. Is there any advice/tips on how to use? Do you really not even feel it? I’ve been with my partner for a year and we’ve had period sex once or twice, but I can tell he’s not really into it so I have never pushed the issue during that time. If these are as great as they sound, I’m excited!

  23. Nohsara Says:

    Why is the opinion of a gay man on this article listed? Complete waste of a response. Of course he’s not interested in period sex…. Just stupid.

  24. mil87 Says:

    I got told my cock would fall off and that i would contract every std going… curious as i am i scoured the internet looking for answers to my problem and all it came up with was i will be fine just use a condom…. just because theres a bigger risk of infection and shit…

  25. Johnny Says:

    ^ JUST a condom? Are you crazy? This is the female PERIOD we’re talking about!

    If you want to survive period sex, you need to get a wetsuit, cut out a hole in it for your wiener, put on the condom, then get in the wetsuit so that absolutely no skin is exposed.

    I’m just glad I got to you before you got yourself killed.

  26. curiousityjoe Says:

    i did it to this girl last week on our first date. weird huh but the chemistry was off the charts. it was messy, soiled the sheets an towel then she was like stop its too gross. and 20 mins later she rode my dick until she cum twice. i loved it only one problem all the blood made the pussy kinda slippery

  27. Teejay Says:

    My husband refuses to touch me when I’m on my period.. problem is, due to a medical condition my period lasts 10-20 days of the month. He says that ‘it’s gross!’ which really upsets me.. but i obviously can’t make him if he is uncomfortable.


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