We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below:
Dear Em & Lo,
I broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years four days ago as I didn’t feel like I was in love him him any more. I had been thinking about breaking up for so long and really thought I was making the right decision. Anyway, we said we would stay friends (he’s been my best friend, and me his, for the last two years, and I would hate it if he left my life altogether). The first few days were full of ups and downs but overall I felt like it was going well (a lot better than I expected to anyway). We are both at the same university doing the same degree so have every single lecture together, which I admit does make things slightly more awkward.
Last night he came round to my house and we were talking about how we were both feeling and we ended up kissing. One thing led to another and … well, I’m sure you can guess what happened next. It felt like the right thing to do at the time but now I’m so confused about what I’m feeling.
Ever since I told him I wanted to end our relationship, he’s gone back to being the sweet guy I met and was besotted with two years ago. He says he would like to try again at a relationship, but taking it slowly, i.e., going on dates and trying to rebuild my feelings for him. Part of me is tempted to try again, but then I don’t want to just completely disregard the feelings I had before I ended it — that would feel like taking a step backwards.
We’re only 20, and I don’t want to be tied down to someone this young, whereas he is sure he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I’ve asked for a few days to think about what I want to do, but I feel like whatever I choose, I’ll always be wondering what would have happened had I chosen differently. Please help. I don’t know what to do.
What should Torn do?