In the first book the two of us wrote together, a sex manual called The Big Bang, we included the throwaway line “multiple orgasms for men — sorry, that’s a whole ‘nother book.” (What can we say, we only had a few hundred pages to work with, and it seemed to us that women who had never had any orgasms of any kind deserved a bit of attention.) Well, a reader named Alan Oberman wrote to us recently to say, “It doesn’t have to be a book. I’ve written an article, based on personal discovery, on how man can become multi-orgasmic.” He’s been so pleased with the results that he asked if he could share his experience with our readers — and given how many men write to us asking about this topic, how could we say no? (Though we must admit that we did demur when it came to hearing about Alan’s personal experience building his own perfect artificial vagina!) So, without further ado, here is Alan’s story, in his own words:
“Come again? You can keep it up for how long?”
“An hour, more if I want, but my partner has usually had enough after 20 minutes.”
Welcome to the male multiple orgasm. Being multi-orgasmic means that you can remain aroused for as long as you wish. Your penis will not go limp; you choose when you wish to stop. The pleasures of stimulation can be enormously prolonged. You cannot make any one orgasm last longer, but you can have a lot more of them.
Following a typical male orgasm, it usually takes hours, if not days, to get it up again. Being muti-orgasmic means that when you decide to end your sexual activity, you could, if you wanted, instantly return to it.
How to Become Multi-Orgasmic
It helps with any personal discovery to know in advance there is something there to be discovered (there is) and that it’s worth the effort to get there (it is). The essence of becoming multi-orgasmic is gaining control over a system (your reproductive machinery) that fires off willy-nilly. And gaining control means practice, practice, practice.
Most men do not distinguish between orgasm and ejaculation. The word “come” is used both for the orgasm and the ejaculation, as if they were one and the same thing, occurring simultaneously. But this is not the case. The orgasm precedes ejaculation. This is important because it is the ejaculation, and not the orgasm, which brings about the consequent loss of arousal. If we could embrace the orgasm without bringing about ejaculation, it would leave us ready to recommence arousal to subsequent orgasms. Fortunately, by learning to control the drive to orgasm, we can indeed separate orgasm from ejaculation. What we give up is the instinctive, uninhibited, unrestrained drive to climax. What we gain is as many hours of pleasure as we like.
Start by arousing your penis. Proceed very slowly. Keep stopping, to see what your response is. You often cannot tell how close you are to orgasm until you cease moving. If you are confident you are nowhere near orgasm, move more rapidly and with bigger movements. Keep stopping to check. If you are becoming too aroused, make slow, small movements. The pace and amplitude of your movements is your accelerator towards climax. Experiment with raising or lowering your acceleration. If you are getting anywhere near orgasm, stop altogether for a minute or two, waiting for your arousal to ease. Your eventual aim is to come to a stop at a line, with your orgasm this side of the line and ejaculation on the other side. You cannot do this at speed.
Every one of us is different, so it is impossible to prescribe exactly what is right for you. The following is just a guide and you can only know what works by experiment. Take yourself to where you just begin to have orgasmic feelings. This might possibly take a minute or two. Stop, completely relax, and wait for a minute letting those feeling decline. At this stage you will not be able to gain an orgasm without ejaculating. Start moving again, perhaps going a fraction closer to orgasm. And stop again. You may need to do this six or more times. Then some change in your body takes place. With experience you learn to recognize this change and then you know you can go on to orgasm without ejaculating. The process might take ten minutes or so. Having achieved this new state of feeling, it’s possible to move to orgasm without ejaculating. The trick is to move really slowly on approaching orgasm.
Imagine that you’re trying to control a sailboard. You want the board to fly along at the highest speed (orgasm). So you lean out as far as you dare, maximizing the force of wind. But you don’t know where the tipping point is. It’s only by going too far and falling in the water (ejaculation) that you gain a feeling for how far you can go. If you sense that ejaculation is inevitable, you might choose to go for it and enjoy it rather than trying to hold it back. Continuing the analogy, you might prefer to jump rather than fall.
One technique that helps stave off ejaculation is to control your breathing. A big breath inward precipitates ejaculation. So breathe in slowly and gently and breathe out forcefully. Similarly, rapid shallow breathing can help. With experience, you won’t need to do this — in fact, you might easily go weeks or months without ejaculating. But even the most skillful multi-orgasmic man will occasionally, inadvertently ejaculate. And of course, there may well be times you choose to push on to ejaculation because that is what you want to do.
Achieving Super Sensitivity
It takes a little time (ten to fifteen minutes) to reach a state where you can orgasm without ejaculation. After that, you might have climaxes every three minutes or so, with a lowering of arousal between orgasms. If you then continue multi-orgasmic sex for a much longer time, the frequency of orgasm changes until, after an hour or so, you reach a state in which your arousal is continuous. Feelings of imminent orgasm do not subside. You feel like you’re always on the edge of orgasm and each time it may require only some 20 movements forward of the penis to reach orgasm. The waves of pleasure are intense. You have then reached the state of super-sensitivity.
Oh, and just a heads up, as it were: While you’re in this state, the shape of the penis changed. The head end of the penis is swollen and is super-sensitive to touch. Don’t panic! Once sex has ceased, the penis soon reverts to its normal shape.
Remember, the only way to gain a new skill is to keep practicing it. The more you do it, the more satisfying it becomes. Take it from me — being multi-orgasmic can contribute enormously to your well-being, happiness, self-esteem and joy in life. What’s not to love?
— Alan Oberman