Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “How can I get a guy to cuddle more?”
Straight Married Guy (Ben): Two ways really. One — I find I’m at my cuddliest immediately post-orgasm, especially if it’s a really big one that comes from an especially intense build-up – like a long blow job, or really slow and deliberate sex (dare I say, “love making?” No. I don’t.) The risk here is that I’m just as likely to be cuddly as I am to fall asleep. So unless you’re interested in zombie cuddles, best to take this route when your guy’s wide, wide awake. The other way to more cuddles – date him for over a year. At that point, he’ll lose interest in sex altogether and only want to cuddle. Risks there too, I guess.
Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): I think affinity toward cuddling is something hard-wired into the brain (or not) of individuals: some guys are just not into it and some could cuddle all week. But if you’re looking for more comfy cuddles, there are a few things you could try. My man loves massages after a long day of work, or really any time, and he’s putty in my hands if I offer him one. Get some massage oil or lotion, get him nice and relaxed, and afterward he’ll be ripe for the cuddlin’ — and, it can easily lead to something a lot more fun than cuddling. If you’re looking for a couch cuddle, spritz yourself with his favorite scent and fix up a bowl of popcorn or some other food you can share. It’s the perfect opportunity to snuggle in close to your man.
Straight Single Guy (Max): If you find yourself feeling like your man isn’t cuddling enough, then you face one of two problems. The first, sadly, is that there is something wrong with your relationship. Maybe you like your guy more than he likes you, perhaps his mom didn’t hold him enough, or maybe he just sucks and you should find a more cuddly dude. The second is that you haven’t added enough incentive. Cuddling should (at least sometimes) lead somewhere, and in my opinion that somewhere is either sex or food. Think about it. What man would say no to a lady holding a sandwich?
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Ben, a writer and artist living in Los Angeles who runs AdultParlorGames.com; our Gay Guy is Jon Ross, who works for a network news program and lives in Brooklyn with his husband and two dogs; and our Single Straight Guy, Max, is a recent college grad in New York City. To ask the guys your own question, click here.