Em & Lo's RSS Feed Em & Lo's Daily Email Feed Be Our Facebook Friend! Follow Us on Twitter!

Halloween on Amazon

Buy on Amazon Kindle!

Good Vibes Bat Crop

LEVI's on Amazon


6 Rules for Outdoor Sex

Thu, Jun 2, 2011

Advice, How To

photo via Flickr

Now that the weather’s turning warmer, many people are overcome by two urges: to get outside and to get it on — two great tastes that taste great together! And so the season of outdoor sex has begun. But it’s not all fun and games like naked Slip n’ Slide — there are some practicalities to consider before you answer the call of the wild:

  1. Outdoor sex, a subset of public sex, by definition includes the perpetual potential danger of being discovered — that’s part of its thrill. But most people don’t want to see you doing it. Therefore, you must calculate the risks and unless the chances of being discovered are next to nil, don’t do it.
  2. Avoid nudity in public places (unless you’re at a nude beach, at college or in Europe). Ladies, wear a skirt or dress and forgo the underwear. Your partner will have easier access to some of your fun bits, while being able to maintain a modicum of discretion. Plus, you can make a faster getaway if you’re not caught with jeans around your ankles!
  3. Bring a blanket to lay down over dirt, rough ground, sand or itchy grass. Poison ivy on your butt is no picnic.
  4. Use sunscreen on any flesh that doesn’t usually see the sun (e.g. your pasty bum), making sure not to get any in or around your very private parts.
  5. If intercourse is on the agenda, use a condom (even if you two don’t usually) ‚Äď it’ll keep everything tidier, especially when there’s no running water near by.
  6. Like all good campers, pack in what you pack out. Don’t leave any unsightly evidence of your tryst for innocent hikers or beachcombers to stumble upon.

Tip: If it’s a chilly night, hop in a sleeping bag (or two zipped together) in the missionary position–the close quarters might increase your body contact ratio, which many women find helpful in their orgasm endeavors.

This article also appeared in Metro

, , , ,

 

2 Responses to “6 Rules for Outdoor Sex”

  1. no Says:

    dont be stupid, there are no rules. what a pathetic waste of space.

  2. Furbert MacGillivray Says:

    Rule 2 expansion: Gents, channel your inner Scotsman and wear a kiltie.


Leave a Reply