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10 Reasons Your “Ugly Vagina” Is Normal and Gorgeous

Wed, Jul 27, 2011

Advice, Dear Em & Lo

photo via Flickr

Dear Em & Lo,

A male acquaintance recently started a conversation about “ugly” vaginas with my friends and me. He said that some vaginas resemble “kebabs” and that a lot of guys are really put off sex when they get a hot girl naked and find that her vagina isn’t as “neat” as they imagined it would be. It made me feel really self-conscious about my own, even though I never have been before.

Anyways, as I have never really seen many vaginas before, I decided to Google “ugly vaginas.” I was curious about what an ugly vagina actually is, and whether mine was one of them. Oh my god! I was shocked. What I thought was normal is actually “kebab-like”!!!! There were images of “beautiful” and “ugly” vaginas. The Vagina Institute in particular compares the two. The “beautiful” ones have plump outer labia and you can’t see the inner labia poking out from them…but the ugly ones are just like mine, when you can see the inner lips slightly.

It has made me feel so self-conscious. I hate to think of my ex and future partners being turned off by my vagina, especially as I try to keep it neat by trimming and waxing! Now I feel like growing a bush to try and hide my lips!! The horrible things is, I think when I was younger my vagina was more beautiful (I’ve seen the pictures of me running around naked on the beach as a child)…at least it looked more like the beautiful vagina pictures. It looked more like a little bottom than an adult vagina. Do you think that I have made it look worse by having lots of sex or something? Or is it just where I am older (I am 22 now). Can you have surgery on your vagina? I really want my inner lips to be made smaller. Is it possible?

–”Ugly” Betty

Dear U.B.,

Oh man. Where do we start? We could write an entire book on this topic. And it would involve a lot of ranting and swear words. Let’s try for the abridged version.

First of all, the bad news: We hate to say it, but yes, there are plenty of guys out there who, like your pal, use terms like “roast beef” or “kebab” to describe what they consider to be “ugly vaginas.” (Ignoramuses! The correct terminology for external female genitalia is vulvas, not vaginas, so we’ll be using that from here on out.) We wish we didn’t live in the kind of world where sexist idiots come up with insulting names for female anatomy, but damn it, we do, and much as we’d like to lie to you and tell you that all guys are just happy to get access to any vulva, no matter what it looks like, we can’t.

These same guys will probably tell you (if you ply them with enough drinks) that a so-called “ugly vagina”, where the inner lips protrude beyond the outer lips, looks that way because the woman has had too much sex. And this is why they find “imperfect” genitalia a turn-off — it makes them think the vagina has too much “mileage.”

First of all, what the double-standard fuck? But second, they’re flat-out wrong. Sex does not make your labia “grow.” Let’s say that one more time: The size and shape of a woman’s labia has nothing to do with the number of notches on her bedpost.

But now the good news: Just because some guys think this way, doesn’t mean they all do. Nor does it mean you have to put up with it. Say no to vulva prejudice! Here are ten things you should know that may help you fight the good fight.

1. Even though seedy quack operations like the Vagina “Institute” (no link for them, they’re assholes) will tell you that vulvas like yours are “abnormal,” they’re not. There’s no such thing as abnormal when it comes to labes. (Okay, maybe if you could play hackysack with your inner labia, that would be a bit abnormal.) Labia come in all shapes and sizes. Most women’s aren’t symmetrical, and it’s incredibly common for a woman’s inner labia to protrude beyond the outer labia. (It’s for this reason that we always use the terms “inner labia” and “outer labia” rather than “labia majora” and “labia minora,” which falsely represent the scale).

2. You know the only place where the vast majority of vulvas do look “perfect” (i.e. the same)? Porn. And it’s for the same reason that most of the ladies in porn have big boobs: It’s a job requirement, so if they weren’t born that way, they go under the knife to get that way. It stands to reason, therefore, that guys who watch a ton of porn are more likely to have strong (and wrong) opinions about your labia. Check out this Australian (NSFW!) report on how porn is responsible for the rise in labiaplasty operations.

3. Yes, you can have surgery on labia. And NO, YOU SHOULD NOT EVEN CONSIDER DOING THIS. If you don’t believe us, Dr. Kate says the same thing. Your labia are full of nerve endings. Every day we are inundated with letters from women saying they can’t orgasm–and you want to lessen your chances?!! Labiaplasty (that’s the “technical” term) to trim your inner lips definitely won’t make sex feel better for you, and it definitely could make sex less pleasurable or even painful.

4. The more a guy is into you, the less likely he is to give a shit what your vulva looks like. Sure, there are some guys out there who have an unbending aesthetic preference, love be damned, just as there are some women out there who can’t imagine sticking it out with a guy who’s less than average-sized. But just as most women will overlook a man’s size if they’re in love with the man attached to that penis, so too will most men learn to love your labia. Hey, it’s not the worst thing in the world to hold off on getting naked with a guy until you’re sure he likes you for more than just your genitals.

5. Some of our best friends have classic “ugly” vaginas. And you know what? Anecdotally speaking, it makes sex better. Like we said, the inner labia are chock-full of nerve endings, and they encase the clitoral head, which means that during intercourse, there’s a whole lot more friction going on. Friction = stimulation = Big Os for her. So there, you vulva fascists.

6. You know what we think is ugly? That plucked-chicken look a vulva gets a few weeks after a full Brazilian (or sometimes even a few days after). Sure, maybe that makes us vulva fascists, too, but we’re just saying is all: Back before people started taking it all off down there, nobody stressed out about their “ugly vagina”, so far as we know. We don’t think you should opt for re-growth to “hide” your vagina–you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of–but you should know that nobody’s adult vulva looks like a little girl’s, with or without pubic hair. So stop trying!

7. And you know what? We’re kind of glad that nobody’s adult vulva looks like a little girl’s. Who wants their vulva to look like a 7-year-old’s? Or a little mini tushy on a kid? That’s some fucked up shit!

8. Next time you’re feeling self-conscious about a body part, do NOT Google it. The Web is overrun with horny 13-year-olds who have unlimited access to porn and very limited knowledge of real women.

9. Libraries are supposed to be “neat.” Office cubicles are supposed to be “neat.” A lawyer’s side part is supposed to be “neat.” Your labia are not.

10. If, like us, you wish we didn’t live in this kind of world, then start changing it, one man at a time: Educate your guy friends. Don’t sleep with men who make you feel self-conscious about your vulva. Do sleep with men who feel self-conscious about their penises. Better yet, find the kind of guy who likes longer inner labia — there are plenty! — and reward him. Educate your female friends. Love your vulva.

Yes, we just lit a patchouli-scented candle.

Em & Lo

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179 Responses to “10 Reasons Your “Ugly Vagina” Is Normal and Gorgeous”

  1. Melisa Says:

    Love life, enjoy sex & immediately dismiss the idea of an “ugly” vagina from your brains.

  2. Cassie Says:

    Haha omg, this is great. I smiled the entire time while reading this. I honestly can’t ever imagine any vagina being ugly.. But I know a lot of guys can and mine would be included in that. Thank you for this beautiful article.

  3. Justin Says:

    I just want to say that I feel for women worrying about their vaginas. I for one don’t really care much about how it looks. I would like to say that this though, is not a case of sexism. I have had women and society making me feel bad about my penis for years. I’ve also had women talk for hours about terrible sex with men in front of me further making me feel really worried. This is something both sexes do in order to escape insecurity about their sexuality. Its a little game we all like to play. After years of staring at my penis to make sure its ok, I realized that it is fine. Just like your vagina is fine. When it comes down to it, that guy doesn’t care. He is just saying that to give himself the upper hand in the insecurity game. Don’t let it work.

  4. Nick Says:

    I’m a guy. There are no ugly vaginas. There are lots of guys who have never seen a real vagina that are ‘experts’ though.

  5. Luna Says:

    Nick, you are soo right! Ha ha! Ladies, most guys that are talking about ugly vaginas don’t get to see a lot of vaginas up close. Johnny’s point was also right on!

  6. James Says:

    Well if women are going to say men need circumcision to improve the appearance of their penis, then I think its only fitting you ladies do the same.

    No seriously why cant we all just love what is there naturally ?

  7. John Says:

    There is nothing to feel self conscious about. I found that women that have large “lips” enjoy oral sex much more and have more and easier orgasms. If a guy has the chance to become your lover, he is thanking his lucky stars to just get a near you. Enjoy your condition, many guys would love to enjoy it as well.

  8. Pierre Says:

    Vulvas, just like breasts, just look their best when they are NATURAL.

    I really hate the tendency nowadays for the shaved look and the trimmed pussy lips, there’s nothing left! I agree with the authors: who wants a vulva that looks like a 7-year-old’s?

    Bring back the 70s when women were natural, confident, and not put under so much stress about what is supposedly “normal”.

    I for one put in one more guy’s vote for just loving women for being women! And for enjoying sex with a woman because I love her AS A PERSON and therefore find her attractive, not because her anatomy matches a blueprint of what is supposedly perfect.

  9. Dan Says:

    I must say at first I was a little taken back by my girlfriends Vulvas because from my experience from past girls and yes watching porn I had not seen one like that. Its funny at first I also wondered how it got like that and I thought jeez probably a lot of sex, or her ex must have been huge! But I loved her and she was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen so it did not matter to me one way or the other. I did always wonder though until I fell upon this thread. I am glad now I am more educated!

  10. Tired of insecurity Says:

    It’s a personal preference that’s all and anyone is entitled to like what they like. If someone finds one look more appealing than another then than live and let live. I wouldn’t critize a man who is attracted to tall, blondes with huge boobs but I know that I wouldn’t never be his girlfriend. No offense taken he likes what he likes and he’s entitled to it that doesn’t make me hate my height and if I allowed personal preferences change how I see myself then I’m the one that needs help.

  11. Compagno Says:

    Pierre has said it all.

  12. Siobhan Says:

    @ Justin, thanks for commenting! We really do play the insecurity game and I’m always having to reassure my partner about whether he is ‘big enough, wide enough, shaped normally, curved wrong, long enough, hard enough, good enough’. Porn does not make sex education. All penises, all vulvas, all breasts, all bums are perfect and gorgeous as they are- naturally!

  13. chris Says:

    I am a bloke and have recently only just encountered these discussions, I feel really bad if I have ever added to the stereotype of neater is better. I agree porn has probably screwed up our whole generation.

    However isn’t it wierd to say all vulvas HAVE to be considered beautiful as certaintly society doesn’t say or think all penises are perfect!
    Unfortunatly society will always want to push some stereotype or other, maybe better sex ed is needed!!

    I think it all comes down to the person, if you love someone, you’re normally into what they look like. No one should ever make you feel bad for what you look like!

  14. felix Says:

    Pierre, totally agree with you!
    I too prefer woman who is natural, hate the shaved off..just love them for being themselves! Woman are to be loved, there is no such thing as ugly Vagina..love how it “blossoms” with the right kisses.. :p

  15. Maruato Says:

    Okay, I was with you until reason #5. Then I got pissed. You are saying now that large inner labia is BETTER? Are you saying my small inner labia is making me less orgasmic, and I am not experiencing the same pleasure as these women with “ugly” vulvas? Now you just made me feel bad about my “neat, perfect vagina.” I will never understand why we cant make the self-conscious feel good about themselves without putting down the other side of the spectrum! Its just like how overweight women cant embrace and love their bodies without first telling skinny women (like me) that we aren’t what men want and that no one finds us sexy and that we are anorexic bags of bones a gross. Why couldn’t you just say BOTH are good. Your statement about large inner labia making sex better is bollocks and downright hurtful. Shame on you. I didn’t even read the last five reasons.

  16. Kristina Says:

    @maruato
    Totally agree!!! I am thin, work hard to stay in shape, and have “compact non visible” inner labia. I have women treat me unkindly out of their insecurities, say anorexia comments. Those are not ribs, they are abdominal muscles – serratus or intercoastals. I am completely shaved…..have yet to meet a man who hates that look. It feels better, and who wants to perform oral sex with all that nasty shit in your face. I love giving head & pleasing – but only when man is closely trimmed or shaved. I gag otherwise…..yuck. Manscape already! Maybe you’re right that there are more nerve endings in large inner labia. I believe the best sex & orgasms come from feeling confident about your body. So……for the other side, with shaved, tidy, compact pussy, we also look amazing!!!!!

  17. dallas Says:

    Maruato, I also completely agree with everything you said. Don’t feel bad about your dainty slit! Small inner labia are not some sort of sexual punishment; my “neat” pussy has certainly never denied me pleasure or orgasms.

  18. Lucy Says:

    I’m a bit shocked at some of the responses from women in this thread… bringing weight into the vagina-shape discussion? Weight has nothing to do with the shape of your vagina. I think it’s great that you’re in-shape and happy with your body… there’s no need to slam anyone here at all. Just because you “take care of yourself” does not mean you will not have a symetrical vagina.

    I repeat. WEIGHT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SHAPE OF A VAGINA.

    As other people have said, if you love someone, you love their bits… massive or tiny… there is nothing wrong with liking a “neat” vagina, and nothing wrong with liking an asymetrical vagina.

    The same goes for male genitalia. There’s no point in me talking about my personal examples of this as I’m just one person, for reference sakes though I don’t care what shape a man’s penis is. However, out of the 100′s of women that I have known and discussed sex with, I know only two women who have admitted to only liking a certain shape of penis, and neither of those women would call it a deal-breaker, either.

    I think the only “normal” preference to have regarding genitalia is that we don’t want our partners bits to look like a childs genitalia. This is not to say that I totally agree with the opinion that women (or men) should NOT shave because of this. You can still shave without looking like a child.

    If genitalia is a deal-breaker for you then it is my opinion that you’re pretty shallow… but what shallow person cares that they are shallow? However just the nature of a lack-of-depth means that you are already hightening your chances of unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

    Already my comment is too long, I could go on about this forever. I just don’t like how we got to this place in society at all. As Chris said earlier “porn has probably screwed up our whole generation.”

  19. Maruato Says:

    I only brought the weigh issue in, Lucy, as an example of how people need to turn the tables of judgement in order to feel good about their own bodies. I know weight is an entirely separate subject. I was just hurt by the way they implied that my small neat vulva somehow makes sex less pleasurable for me than someone with long inner lips. That’s all. I believe we can help people feel good about their bodies without making others feel BAD about theirs!

  20. PinkLady75 Says:

    I found this site by Googling ‘ugly pussies’. I have been watching porn for the last few months and was curious of the high percentage of women with IMO, hideous hanging vulvas. As a Lesbian I have seen many vaginas and have never came across anyone whose inner lips could be seen without ‘spreading’. I automatically thought they(porn stars) were simply ‘overused’. This article has opened my eyes, I didn’t know women where born with ‘extra skin’. It does make perfect sense, women have various body types…so EVERYTHING would be included in the mix. Great article:)

  21. Mila Says:

    Kristina- just because bitches have been rude to you doesn’t mean you need to stoop to their level and call anybody’s anything “nasty shit”. Sounds like you’re the one that’s insecure.

    I think women should be proud of what they’ve got no matter what it is. And I also feel nobody should ever go under the knife unless it’s absolutely necessary.

  22. Joy Says:

    Love the article. My ex used to tell me how much he loved my inner lips, which are longer than the outter. I’ve always been self conscious so I appreciate reading things like this.
    I’m curious why there are links to what appear to be the same type of trashy web sites that would criticize this larger inner lips just above the comments.

  23. Matt Says:

    Ridiculous!!! My fianc√© has a “neat” vagina, and I find myself fantasizing about the so called “ugly” vaginas more often than not.. I miss that and wish she had one….. More to play with! =)

  24. Mike Says:

    Personally I like the look of a “neat” vulva, I actually prefer the look better over “ugly” ones. My girlfriend has an “ugly” vulva but it doesnt stop me from enjoying it or loving it! Just the same as I prefer curly haired brunettes(which is what my girlfriend is) over blondes. Do I think blondes are unnatractive? Hell no! Women are beautiful in all colors, shapes and sized.

  25. dallas Says:

    LOL @ Matt…maybe your fiancee is on another forum wishing you had “more to play with” down there too. Just a thought.

  26. Johnny Says:

    ^ HIYOOOOOO!

  27. Jack Says:

    Sigh.. I hate to say it but its kind of a big deal ladies.. And I say that with the utmost respect.

    I’m currently dating the love of my life, and I was so terribly devastated to discover that she doesn’t have a neat little box. As this article points out, it’s not the end of the world, and I like her so much that I’ll do what it takes to get past it, but it’s SUCH a turn off for me. I know it has nothing to do with past lovers, but it def gives the impression of an old worn out pussy that’s been around the block a few dozen times… Not exactly what a guy wants to be thinking about while having sex. I’d say it’s comprable to a girl dating a guy with a 3.5 inch wee wee. Can she get past it? I’m sure she could convince herself to look beyond it… But ultimately she’d prob end up craving something more.

    Sorry to be pessimistic. Just thought I’d share a mans pov here. I’m sorry to hear that surgery isn’t a viable option..

  28. Amari Says:

    I am so glad that I found this thread. For many years I was in a relationship where the jackass used to say that my female genitalia looked the way it did from having a lot of sex with numerous guys. Prior to him I had only been with 3 men so I was a little confused but I let myself believe that if I maybe would have had sex with only one i would still have the “perfect” look. When we would fight he would say nasty things about how he didn’t believe i was a good girl and that he thought I was a whore because of the way I looked down there. After hearing it for so long it took a long time for me to finally look down and think to myself “its pretty”. If you love yourself, you will find confidence and beauty in everyone of your physical attributes. NO ONE has a “perfect” down there. no man or woman, but then again who’s to say what perfect is? Go ahead and Google “pretty pussy” the image results you get will surprise you it is the widest range of different looking genitalia you will see in your life. The funny and interesting part is after all those years of him tearing me down with insecurities, I think he was trying to make up for what his ego told him he was missing. My genitalia actually looks like what that awful “institute” claims “pretty” or “normal” is, its kinda frustrating after so many years of believing it was ugly…even if it was ugly i’d still love it because I now Strongly love myself and everything about me. So again who is or can really be the judge of what “perfect” is? NO ONE!!! I hope my story helps someone. And I wanna say thank you for this article, I hope someone out there who is currently going though the same thing I did years ago gets a chance to read this and see a woman’s body no matter what is pure beauty…just love yourself first!!!

  29. alana Says:

    I have a closed in “neat” vagina…. to be honest until I watched the doco on Vagina’s I had no idea there was any other kind. I also read that it’s not normal to have small labia if your a grown womean – well I have plenty of sex and it’s never changed. Don’t put down women with “neat” ones though just becuase so many other women have bigger labias. Who really cares though??? Everyone wishes they could change something about themselves. Just focus on what assets you do have.

  30. ShakeMyHead Says:

    This whole thread is ridiculous. Why would anyone fuss so much over one inner labia that may be a few MILLIMETERS longer than some other one? It’s so minuscule. I am a female and I don’t even want to say if I am “neat” or “ugly” because just using those labels make me disappointed in society. We are ALL neat.

    Listen. Some balls are big, some are small, some are hairy, some are smooth, some are white, pink, brown, yellow, some hang to the right, to the left… Some penises are long, some short, some thin, others thick, some straight, curved, smooth, rigid, cut, uncut… Some vaginas are bald, others hairy, some are more plump others are small, LIPS; inner and outer come in ONE general shape that may vary my a few millimeters. There is nothing in this paragraph that should be considered “ugly”

    In the end, it’s just a ball sack, just a penis, and just a vagina. If you’re going to be concerned about anything, be concerned that your bits are healthy, clean and working the way they should.

  31. mike t Says:

    im a guy,aged 26,im in my 4th of studying medicine, i have been with a reasonable number of women, all i have to say is: I LOVE VAGINAS, they ALL look so tasty.

  32. LLS Cardholder Says:

    I hope there are a lot of women out there that read this through this thread. .
    I was very insecure about my LLS(LongLabiaSexiness<-Clever hey? Haha) most of my youth.
    When I met my husband a few years ago, I decided to face my fears and google "what men really thought" about a vagina like mine. Stumbled on a website that contained comments, discussions and explicit(but classy) pictures involving longer labias and was astonished by how much sexier I felt!!
    Just like a man saying he'd prefer a "neat" tidy little area. It is all preference.
    What I think is interesting is where that preference stems from?
    I think my sense of LLS(lol) was heightened immensely by educating myself on the internet.
    I think Men who enjoy pornographic material have obviously become accustomed to seeing this so called neat pkg.
    Do you think the opinions of men and women would be different if mainstream porn contained all types?
    And I don't believe this would have been a topic 50 years ago.
    So obviously media influence does play a good and not so good role in our "opinions."
    It can create expectations that a man does not understand, but can also show women like myself that their goods are just as tantalizing ;)
    Now everyone get off this forum and go enjoy the big OR small beautiful labias in your lives!
    -sry for the rant. My first time commenting on a forum ;)

  33. anonymous girl Says:

    i am 20 years old, and have the “longer labia” and thank god i came to this website and and a few more. I just got into a relationship with my best friend, we have known eachother for almost 6 years and we are currently in 2 separate states. Im going to see him soon and I was worried because in the past he’s talked about vaginas and how he hates the “roast beef look.” we Skype sometimes and he wants to see my body almost all the time and i won’t go anywhere past my underwear. It’s really hard to try to be or talk sexual to him when im not feeling too good about myself. i didn’t think it was a problem and hope it wont become one for him. it would suck losing a relationship and friend over something so stupid.

  34. lalaland Says:

    That was a great article for confidence boosting, I am of the “ugly” variety, though bald as a coot lol, can’t bear the idea of hair!
    I have to say that I agree with some previous posts that comment 5 is really harsh, girls all talk to their friends about this stuff and none of my “neat” amigos have any issues with sex.
    What does make a difference however is confidence, if you love yourself and are happy with your partner sex is always fantastic. This is why I am planning to get surgery on my labia. I prefer the “neat” look and feel uncomfortable receiving oral from my partner, he is indifferent to what I look like down there but I want to enjoy every aspect of our sex life to the full.
    Everyone should be able to love and appreciate themselves and be empowered to make changes if this is not the case.

  35. JR Says:

    It’s a shame (and a sham) that we live in a world where you ladies always take the few outspoken males, who talk about sex like a middle school kid, and lump all men into that category. I know a few assholes like the one mentioned in your article, but that makes up maybe .01 percent of the entire male population. The guys who many women might find as pleasing, respectful companions don’t blab about such ridiculous nonsense. Unfortunately, human nature doesn’t favor nice guys. To be a nice guy is considered by many women to be a doormat, and for some reason women don’t take earnest, sensitive men seriously until they’ve dated every asshole on the planet. even then many don’t get any wiser. If you wanna change the world, then do it. No one is stopping you. the only reason men have been in charge for so long of history is that most women are happy not challenging the status quo, and settle for a role in the background complaining. Everyone’s life is difficult, with the exception of a few, and it’s childish to say things like “men have it so easy”. We don’t. We are constantly blamed for things like not listening by a woman who doesn’t know how to listen. I have been fortunate to have met a diamond in the rough who doesn’t infer with bullshit. She actually knows how to communicate.

  36. Butterfly Says:

    Bahaha! Most men don’t care what it looks like, as long as it don’t smell & taste good!

    I got a fat cat n I hate it, but men love it. There is always going be something we don’t like about ourselves :)

  37. Candi Says:

    I’m so glad to find this site but I’m still a bit insecure when it comes to my vulva. Reading through all these comments about long and short inner labia make me feel even more of a freak because one side of my inner labia is short and pink while the other is long and dark. It’s so uneven. Thank goodness I married a man who loves me for me (stretch marks and all) though we still make love with the lights out per my request.

  38. erika Says:

    I can personally vouch that longer inner labia are more sensitive. Like Candi, i have one long and one short lip. The long one is extremely sensitive and is my “go to” spot. I often can’t orgasm unless that lip is stimulated. When i was about 20 i dated a guy who when angry would make rude commentsabout my “oversized lip”. I refused to let that bother me. Of the dozen or so men I’ve been intimate with, he was the only one who ever said a word. They knew they were lucky to be with me! I can also vouch that large lips have nothing to do with how much sex you’ve had. Mine was that way long before i lost my virginity.

  39. Oldfart Says:

    I LOVE my wife’s labia. They are big enough to slightly protrude when she’s unstimulated. When she’s aroused, her inner labia swell and spread even further over her external labia. I will admit to being a cunnilingus addict, so I doubt there would be any natural woman that I’d have problems with by sight (smell and taste??). OTOH the thought of having those sensitive bits sliced off, unless they were truly interfering with their owner’s motions, etc., just seems barbaric. I suspect that being old enough that I wasn’t exposed to the vast quantity of porn that exists online before I was exposed to real live girls and women helps shape my attitudes. I find it shocking that any horndog would be willing to criticize a woman that was willingly sharing her lower lips with him.

  40. Katie Says:

    Hi everyone! I’m a 23 year old female who has been feeling “ugly” for quite a while now! I never felt this way until I started dating my current boyfriend. We’ve been together for 2 years now and I know he thinks I am very sexy. BUT, he also doesn’t hide the fact that he enjoys porn (past partners have). So I started watching porn as well- sometimes with him but sometimes on my own. That’s when I started getting the idea that my vagina was “ugly”. It really, really made me sad. It made me not want to even be naked with him- and that’s our favorite thing to do! When we hang out at home or whatever, we’re very often naked. Some days I feel more self conscious than others but some days it’s so bad I will keep my clothes on and he doesn’t know why. I want to talk to him about how I feel but it’s embarrassing and painful. When I started watching porn and thought that my vagina wasn’t as “pretty” as others, I started remembering things from high school. Guys would say that some girls had “roast beef” vaginas or better yet, I remember a song that went something along the lines of.. “Do your lips hang low, do they wobble to and fro…” It’s really hard to feel sexy when these thoughts are attacking your brain as soon as your clothes come off. I’m really glad I have access to posts such as these and to know that I’m NORMAL and beautiful! It’s sad that women feel this way. I KNOW that I am an attractive 23 year old woman, but when my panties come off, all that goes out the window. Thank you everyone for the comments! We are all BEAUTIFUL- no matter what!!!!!!!!!!! And any man who thinks differently doesn’t deserve any of us!

  41. Katie Says:

    And for all the men who are wondering why women lump these few outspoken assholes into one group and think our vaginas are ugly… Well, men love vaginas- when we think ours is ugly or different, it makes us not want to show it off. Then we have people like Jack a few comments up who is TERRIBLY DEVASTATED that the love of his life doesn’t have a “neat little box”.. well Jack, that’s ridiculous. You’ve found the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. Most people NEVER FIND THAT. So don’t be posting online that you don’t like her vagina. If she ever saw your post on here, I think she’d drop you in a heartbeat.

    So men and women who are offended by this article because you either have a “neat perfect pussy” or because you prefer that, THAT IS FINE. But stay off of this thread!!!!! We aren’t saying that your pussy isn’t amazing and beautiful! I’m sure it is!!!! These threads are out here to try to help the women who feel self conscious because they don’t have your “neat perfect vagina” … So consider yourself lucky that you don’t have this self conscious issue and google something else.

  42. babygur Says:

    I came here after googling “why do I think vaginas are ugly”, and I am a woman. I KNOW they’re not ugly but honestly I become physically ill at the sight of most vaginas. I am bi curious and love everything about women except vagina.

    It’s strange. I don’t like it. And I don’t know why I feel this way. I’ve only recently started to like how my own vagina looks. I always thought it was ugly and now I am realizing that it isn’t ugly, but I still find most vaginas to be not appealing (to put it nicely).

  43. Rachelle Says:

    I suppose my kitty would be considered an “ugly” vagina- but that’s besides the point. I came here to talk to all the girls with “neat” vaginas ( or so society thinks) you should stop posting comments about how you feel put down! This is NOT about you! Look at porn if you wanna feel good about yourselfÔľĀ all of them have well kept vaginas. this is for the women who don’t feel particularly well about that area and this is not your place to bitch about it.

    Sure sure, you feel like reason 5 was offending but, really!? Why?? She wasn’t offending anyone! The author never stated anything about a larger being BETTER all they said was that it gave more friction and face it that means more pleasure- but if you’ve never had an issue about how much pleasure you get, why are you complaining?!

  44. Zee Says:

    I’m the opposite. I don’t like plain boring ones. I like ones with character

  45. Cas Says:

    I want to say thank you because I’ve always felt this way about myself, that my lips were too large. They honestly aren’t that large! Not one person I’ve been with has thought so or disliked the way I look. I honestly don’t know where the idea came from. I’m in love with the greatest guy who adores me and my vagina, tells me how beautiful I am and it is everyday. I still can’t kick this surgery idea… I told him about my thoughts…. He said are you crazy you’re perfect! Id be devostated if i lost feeling down there. i have no issue with orgasms actuslly i can have quite a few during sex and oral sex! What the heck Is going on in my head that I still think there’s something wrong with me :( I want so badly to just accept, be comfortable and love myself entirely. This website has been a great insight though. I’m going to keep trying to find positive information. Thank you ladies!

  46. dave Says:

    i am pleased to see that its not only men who worry about their sex parts. i am 56 and have had multiple sex partners. some women had small labia minora, some larger. it made no difference to me. smell and taste were more important. all women are beautiful to me. i once had a woman tell me my penis was to small for her. yes, it hurt my feelings and made me feel less confident in bed for quite a while. but i got over it. to all you lovely ladies out there, you are beautiful just the way you are. but remember, if you judge men, then its only fair that men judge you. i have never judged a woman for the looks of her vulva. don’t even care if its trimmed or not. being clean is important for both genders. i love going down when she is clean. i love being able to please her orally. but i could care less about the looks of her labia.
    just my two cents worth.

  47. Teresa Says:

    I stumbled across this while doing a search on ugly pussies. My whole sexual life I had never put any thought into what my vagina looked like until a group of my closest guy friends were scrutinizing a picture of a girls vag. They all commented on how disgusting it looked because of the coloration and labia size. They referred to her as “beat” and “roast beef”. I went home and pulled out a mirror and realized that my labia were larger, darker, and longer than the girls. I actually thought her vag was quite pretty! As if I wasn’t being stupid enough, I ended up dating one of these moron guys for four years. He refused to do oral sex on me. I hated my “ugly” vagina. Now that I am older I realize how stupid it is to feel that way. My husband thinks my crotch is awesome and can’t get enough of it! As for that guy I dated years ago… trying not to be cynical or poke fun, but one day it dawned on me. Yeah he thought it was ugly and wouldn’t go near it, but he also never lasted more than 10 seconds, so there must have been something good about it!

  48. J7N Says:

    I haven’t seen a real vulva, but in porn closeups they all look incredibly ugly and impractical. Erotic photos that don’t show the parts down below are generally better. I’d rather wish women had penises, which would also make their life easier… if many of them had them that is. I’m not sure how photo-edited the pictures of transgender women are, but they look much neater than the trimmed pussy.

  49. nikki Says:

    There are very few attractive vaginas in porn especially those that look neat most do look worn out but thats because they do have sex a lot so i wouldnt compare an average woman vag to a porn stars vag

  50. nikki Says:

    Thank you for this beautiful article….. :) xxx


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