Other people‚Äôs dreams are never interesting‚Ä¶except when they‚Äôre about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
Some background: There’s this guy that goes to the same college as me. For the longest time he never showed ANY interest in being friends at all, even though we both come from the same place. I never wanted to be anything more than friends, especially since he already had a girlfriend. But I always tried to be somewhat friendly with him.
Now the unfortunate thing is I keep dreaming about him. And most of the time, it’s the same dream in which he woos me and makes me fall in love with him. For example, in one dream, he called me to the back of a stage and gave me a necklace before kissing me (I could feel the kiss even after I woke up, which really made me wonder) and then slow danced with me on stage in front of the entire school!¬†And then right when I left from the stage I heard him telling everyone how he was only using me because his actual girlfriend was at home, and he should get the chance to play around while at college, right?
Now the thing is, I’ve started talking to him. And I know for a fact that the girlfriend’s out of the picture. Should I just try to repress the dream, even though it’s always in the back of my mind? And is it normal to actually be able to feel him in the dream, especially since we’ve hugged in real life and it feels remarkably similar to what I felt in my dream?
Lauri: Your dreams may have originally started because you did want to have some kind of connection with him, even if only as friends. Would you say that the more aloof he behaved towards you the more you wanted to break that ice, the more you wanted him to like you‚Ä¶ even if only as a friend? This may be why he is the one wooing you in the dream. Your dream takes place on stage because you must have some waking life concern over how others perceive you, most likely how he views you. The dance is connected to the waking life “dance” you have going on with him, the things you say and do which are carefully choreographed and calculated. You must be feeling that you two are now working in harmony together as he is no longer resisting a “friendship” with you in real life. The most interesting part of the dream is when he says he’s using you and that he should be allowed to play. Now keep in mind, this dream is coming from you therefore these are your inner thoughts, not his. I believe that what he said is really your inner self asking you if this relationship is really useful to you ¬†because it has been somewhat of a game so far.
Now to answer your questions. Is it normal to feel hugs and kisses in a dream? Absolutely! Even sex dreams feel real, which is why we often actually orgasm for real when having one. Should you repress these dreams? No! Repressing, whether it be memories, emotions or dreams is never a healthy thing to do. Memories, emotions and dreams all need to be experienced, processed and redirected into something positive, otherwise you wreak havoc on yourself. The dreams you are having about this guy are actually a helpful guide as far as how to understand the relationship and what to do about it. Thus far you seem to have been enjoying the dynamics of the relationship but now your inner mind seems to be saying “Proceed, but with caution.” Your dreams won’t steer you wrong. Good luck!
Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don‚Äôt forget: you can get access to Lauri‚Äôs Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site.