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Comment of the Week: More on the Orgasm Gap

Wed, Aug 3, 2011

Comment of the Week, Confessions

image from nDevilTV

Clandestine, commenting on a study that showed women orgasm about 80% as often as men do in close relationships but only 32% as often in first hookups:

I’d suggest that a broader explanation [for the orgasm gap] may be that our definition of sex is very intercourse-focused, and we conventionally define sex as over when the man climaxes (since it’s pretty difficult to continue intercourse afterwards). There’s little incentive to get your partner off in a one-night stand, [especially] since it’s more difficult to make most women climax. ¬†But there’s considerable incentive to help a partner you’re emotionally invested in to achieve orgasm.

It also reminds me of all those studies testing whether men or women are more receptive to sudden offers of casual sex. The finding that men tend to be more amenable is often used to defend the premise that men have higher libidos. Sometimes people make the very good point that accepting an offer of casual sex is a more dangerous proposition for women than it is for men, or that women are just tired of being sexually harassed. But the other obvious explanatory factor – that there’s a good chance the woman being approached won’t get off, while there’s a good chance the man being approached will – often gets ignored.

It does kind of make me happy that it gives me a comeback the next time someone pulls out the old “women want relationships and men want sex” thing – well, if that’s true, maybe it’s not that we’re emotionally needy, maybe we’re just seeking out relationships because the sex is better! ;-)

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One Response to “Comment of the Week: More on the Orgasm Gap”

  1. Tom B Says:

    I would also argue that in a closer relationship you’ve had time to ‘feel’ each other out and find out what makes each other tick. While it’s easy to mechanically get a guy off than a girl off when you’re invested in it you are always looking for ‘new’ ways to get your partner off, or finding ways that are more consistent.

    at least I am, maybe I’m weird.


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