I think we can all agree now that plenty of women enjoy masturbation at least as much as men. But the way women enjoy masturbation can vary widely — and many need a bit of extra help getting themselves in the mood. I like to think that my masturbation dates deserve just as much seduction as my partner explorations. So here are my 5 suggestions for fashioning an unforgettable night in with yourself:
- Mood Music. I have an iTunes playlist covertly entitled ‘rr’ for rabbit rock (named after my rabbit vibrator, naturally). Every time I find a song that would be a good romp session anthem, I add it to my self-loving rr soundtrack. This is also fun because later when you hear one of the songs — at a party, say, or in the supermarket — you are reminded of those same tingles you felt before and it becomes a private inside joke with yourself.
- A good sex toy. I have become a kind of connoisseur of sex toys over the years and have found that a quality vibrator will always do the trick. I am a firm believer that one size (and shape) does not fit all when it comes to sex toys, so it’s up to you to find what you like. Experiment and explore. You and your sex toy will make for the ultimate tryst.
- Fantasy fucking. Sometimes I will turn to porn, sometimes music, but when all else fails, a wild fantasy can never do me wrong. Our brains are one of the most powerful sex organs and masturbation is the best way to exercise our creativity. Try to stay conscious of the things that turn you on throughout the day in order to better discover your own sexual appetite and use it as material for a future self love session.
- The freedom to be loud. My usual go-to noise canceling option is to have my vibrator under the sheets and to breathe my heavy breaths into a pillow. However, once I get to know my roommate’s class or work schedules, I find myself enjoying more home-alone time. When you don’t have to worry about anyone overhearing (or walking in on) your bliss and buzz noises, you can let yourself go and ultimately feel your orgasm much bigger and better.
- Tuning in to yourself. This is a little more abstract compared to the rest and probably much more vital. I close my eyes and take full breaths. I make sure to be very conscious of every part of my body. It’s important to be completely engaged by all your senses. What do your sheets feel like? What does your skin feel like? (Moisturize with sensual lotions if your answer is “scaly.”) What can you smell? (Light some candles if your answer to that question isn’t pleasant.) What does your breathing sound like? And so on. Remember that loving your body, physically and emotionally, is key to getting pleasure from it.