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Confession: A Taste of One’s Own

Thu, Sep 1, 2011

Confessions, Personal Post

Max, one of our Wise Guys, has a confession to make:

Ladies, face it: After a blow job, your average man would like you to swallow his seed, plain and simple. Whether that’s because of pride, practicality or a penchant for raunchiness may vary from guy to guy, but a lover’s choice of spitting over swallowing is something that almost all men take quite personally. Do we taste that bad? Do we disgust you? Aren’t you into us?

I was not surprised then when I recently heard a chef at my restaurant bemoaning the fact that his lady, despite her willingness to perform certain acts, would not ingest the spoils of her apparent victory. The cook simply could not understand why she wouldn’t swallow it after it had already been in her mouth.

Now, most men who work in a kitchen have a high tolerance for all that is salacious, perverted, even gross — much higher than your average citizen. So it was natural then for me to wonder whether my disgruntled chef had himself tasted his own “love juice.” After all, if he objected to a woman not devouring something that he produced (a touchy subject for any chef), he himself must have been brave enough to taste test all that came out of his kitchen.

“Have you ever tasted your own?” I asked.

For the first time in any kitchen that I’ve ever worked, everyone went silent. They stared at me, their faces contorted in disgust. I saw then that, even if any of them had, their homophobic instincts would not allow them to admit that they had tasted any man’s semen, even if it was just their own.

I, on the other hand, had to come clean. I told them that not only had I tasted my own, but that it was not, in fact, all that bad. I suggested that maybe they should do the same before they started preaching the virtues of swallowing over the sins of spitting. (I also briefly considered highlighting the fact that the taste of one’s semen is dictated by one’s diet and that, in light of the sheer amount of junk food and booze the majority of them consumed daily, their sexual partners might have had good reason to spit; but I decided this blow was literally below the belt). They, in turn, have decided that I am far stranger than they had originally thought and, since I beat them at their own game of sexual one-upmanship, treat me with a bit more respect than before.

Still, the fact that most men are uncomfortable even discussing the idea of tasting their own ejaculate amuses and confuses me. I’ve heard those same cooks obsess over the joys of anal sex, “doing” women on their periods, and having their girlfriends slip a finger in their bums during a blow job, and yet something so standard as their own come is too much for them? Isn’t the idea of feces and menstrual blood a bit more concerning?

Gentlemen, face it: we are being ignorant. We can’t handle the heat and yet we practically live in the kitchen. It’s time to try new things. I know this might be hard to swallow, but every woman who has gone down on you has gotten a taste, and I think that it is now up to us to share the load.

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31 Responses to “Confession: A Taste of One’s Own”

  1. Engie Says:

    HELL TO THE YES!

  2. matbo Says:

    I applaud you!

    But to swallow or not to swallow? Who cares, can’t we just enjoy sex…it’s a helluva lot sexier to spit into a napkin after a succesful finish than it is to swallow and start gagging, making throw-up noises, rolling your eyes, shaking your head and shuddering in (involuntary) disgust. I don’t think your sperm is grow, just like I don’t think dirt or pee is grow. That doesn’t mean I’m good with the whole swallowing thing though. Blow to your self esteem? Just DEAL. WITH. IT. It’d be a blow to me-being-your-girlfriend if I had to swallow to protect your ego.

  3. matbo Says:

    gross* obviously. I don’t think your sperm is gross.

  4. lily Says:

    it’s always been a texture thing for me. the taste is usually fairly mild (i did have one guy whose spunk smelled bleachy ew) but i just can’t get over the consistency and texture.

  5. David-FL Says:

    How about deep-throat – If the penis-head is past the mouth when he ejaculates, mpst would bypass the tast/texture buds.

    A nice addition would be suggestions of how to improve on the taste. Celery, perhaps?

    I’ve read that if a guy consumes aspargus, it was really bad for the taste of his semen.

  6. BCofUIMHere Says:

    A few slices of plain cucumber takes away the taste of semen. (for some reason, seasoning the cucumber makes the taste stronger)

  7. Johnny Says:

    To me, in the mouth beats out of the mouth hands down on a sensation level. But once I’ve come I don’t care whether she swallows or not. I mean, swallowing is sexier, but I wouldn’t get hung up on it if she didn’t want to.

    It’s the in-the-mouth part that’s important.

  8. anon1 Says:

    Ok,along the same lines- Why do some men get skeeved at the idea of kissing their woman (partner)after she’s performed said act? I’ve never understood that.

  9. Jennifer Says:

    Deep throating so that the ejaculate rushes down your throat is a good way to choke. There’s no control over how much goes down when and you can end up getting it down the wrong tube.

    I think the whole issue is silly. Sperm is usually not tasty. I don’t think *I* am tasty. I dont think it’s worth the effort for either myself or my partner to change our diet just so we taste marginally better. As long as the performing partner is polite about spitting after and not making a big ego-crushing deal about it the ejaculating partner should learn to deal.

  10. K Says:

    Ok, so I really don’t mind swallowing. But each guy tastes really different. I’ve found that guys either follow the “baking soda” taste or “sweet” taste. Oddly, I think I prefer the baking soda. I don’t really understand guy’s swallowing obsession, but if it is that important to him, I’ll try to oblige!

  11. Mikey Says:

    For me, if she doesnt swallow I end up moving on. No question. I know it sounds shallow, or whatever, but I honestly have no complaints about moving on to the next experience with a more adventurous and willing partner anyway. I prefer women who swallow, plain and simple. If you dont do it then feel free to enjoy those men out there who are spineless enough to pretend they dont care. if men want to settle, that’s cool. But trust me, men care about this. Ladies, if you arent doing it, he’s defintely making a mental note of it. You become “one of those” girls. And ALL women will swallow for the right man. If she isnt swallowing for you then that pretty much tells you how deeply into you she really is.

  12. oof Says:

    Wow, fuck you Mikey.

  13. oof Says:

    Wow, fuck off Mikey.

  14. Mikey Says:

    Aw, that’s not very nice. My friends and I have discussed this very subject many times and amongst my male friends this is UNANNYMOUS…Sorry, but I guess they say truth hurts. Now I do have to honestly take into account that my friends and I are all driven, type A personalities that you’d probably class as “alpha” type males. So, ‘OOF’, that frumpy, Seth Rogan-type cashier at Barnes and Noble you had your eye on might be of a totally different opinion on this.

  15. annonymous Says:

    When I got together with my “now” husband he used to pull me off just before because where he came from it was disrespectful to let a women get a mouthful but as i told him I spend all that time down there and I get as much joy in making him climax because “I” did it “I” made him feel that way and it makes I enjoy it and like to finish it right to the last moment (and thats just my feelings on doing that with him) there has been times like mikey says Im not into the guy that much and do not want his sperm in my mouth let alone swallow so hes right on the button with me I will do anything (almost) for my husband !!!

  16. annonymous Says:

    also mikey ive left plenty of men once i found out they wont or cant give me oral very well
    sure you get me hahahah

  17. T Says:

    I think if you left a girl for not swallowing, you’re doing her a favor. And HAVE you tried your own spunk? I don’t think you have any right to insist on it that strongly unless you have. And I have to admit… I’m sort of picturing you sitting around with your tanned bros drinking grey goose redbulls and popped collars… are you on Jersey Shore by chance? You’ve just become ‘one of those’ guys…

  18. Mikey Says:

    There is alot of truth to what T is saying about “doing her a favor”… its true. Relationships should be about compatibility – as soon as one or more parties realizes an area of incompatiblity that is pretty damn important to them, they SHOULD move on. And in doing so they are freeing that partner up to have future experiences they otherwise never would have had. Alot of people bristle when they see the truth in black and white about issues like these. If you dont want to hear the truth about what people think about stuff like this then dont read the comments. MY truth is that if you dont do it, it tells me alot about our relationship, you, and whether or not we will continue to see each other. If you dont like that then fine, you can deal with it in your own way

  19. Jess Says:

    I have always swallowed in relationships. I think it has a lot to do with getting caught up in the moment and wanting to experience all of my partner. In fact, when I fall in love, invariably I find that I really fall in love with the way my man tastes as well.

    That said, no matter how much I enjoy swallowing, I would have to break up with a guy as soon as I found out that he cannot spell the word “unanimous” when typing a comment online–particularly if he puts it in all caps. What with spellcheck and Google right at his fingertips, I would find such a lazy misspelling to be too much of an indicator of beta-male status. He would be relegated to being “one of those guys”.

  20. Mikey Says:

    nice one – I now consider myself “Beta-status” because of my ongoing beef with spellcheck. lol. Tough pill to swallow.

  21. Jess Says:

    I’ve heard there are harder things to swallow, Mikey. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

  22. johnny Says:

    May I offer a different perspective? As a middle aged gay man,and a devout practioner of the oral arts,it really boils down to this: If they are into you they will swallow,if they arent,they wont.Period. Rare is the “love gift” that is so fetid,so foul and unpleasant that swallowing isnt easily accomplished.So Mikey,while unsubtle,is actually making a valid point.

  23. Uncle Bob Says:

    I must admit that I really don’t care what happens to the liquid once it’s no longer in my possession. However, it is much easier to clean up around the area, if it has been swallowed. I also note that when it has been caught in the mouth and swallowed, there should be no fear of experiencing a stinging sensation in one’s eye, nor the embarrassment of needing to make a “Lewinski” trip to the dry cleaners.

    SOME LEARNED ADVICE FOR MEN WHO LIKE SWALLOWS:
    - I’ve been informed that the consistency is very similar to that experience when eating raw oysters on the half shell, so search out someone who enjoys oysters, as they will have little cause for complaining about consistency. If they enjoy the oysters, then they should enjoy the other (and another, if you will).
    - I’ve also learned that it is very appreciated when I have minimized my consumption of red meat, while partaking in increased quantities of lemonade within the 12 hour period of time leading up to distribution. Try it and see if you don’t get compliments about flavor, and an eagerness for refills, too.

  24. Mario Says:

    Well personally, I think I need to get to know Jess a little better. That’s all that really matters right now, lol jk.

  25. Mikey Says:

    I guess I’ll take your (expert) word for it. lol.

  26. elizabeth Says:

    great post. I think he’s a hero. More people need to start doing little things like that to challenge these arbitrary sexual taboos. I like anyone brave and free enough to do something that most people won’t even speak of.

  27. cg Says:

    I have been with my husband many years. On this point we worked together. He pulled me away at first, then as time went by we talked and he said yes it would be better if I swallowed. So my only concession was if I were in total control. He needless to say abliged me on this point. He said it made him feel yucky and nastey and I did not want that. My advice is talk to your partner and work it out together. It only makes the experience better.

  28. SQ Says:

    I always have and always will swallow…It is a personal preference though… no mess to clean up afterwards! I had to beg my ex-husband to let me go down there… He is my ex now… LOL

  29. KenN Says:

    I have tasted my own for many years. In my late teens I was flexible enough to actually touch my lips to the tip, in the shower for “direct injection”.

    I have no major objection to the spit or swallow choice, although swallow is preferred. My objection is to letting go before I am finished, which is what I put up with.

    Kissing after? I love it, you’ve already tasted it, let me taste it too.

    Ladies, how about if we go have a big spit after pleasuring you, or better yet, stop just before you have your pleasure and let you finish yourself off.

  30. CU_guy Says:

    I think the thing that really makes swallowing the preferred method is that the male ejaculation in an “ongoing thing.” In my younger days it would sometimes include 3 or 4 spurts to complete. So, I naturally wouldn’t want to extract myself from the woman’s mouth while this was happening, and she had to swallow and breathe in the process. Then there is also the fact that finishing things off with a stroke of the hand is a sorry follow up to the warmth and softness of a woman’s lips and tongue.

  31. Steve Says:

    I dated for many a year until I finally found a woman who swallowed. It was an awesome feeling for me — quite the egotrip. A few years later I met my wife. She’s not a swallower — just not her thing, and I respect that. On the other hand, one rather fun weekend we both discovered that she REALLY enjoyed having me go down on her after we had sex. So… you know…. its a matter of timing I suppose.


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