Other people‚Äôs dreams are never interesting‚Ä¶except when they‚Äôre about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:
I had a dream that I was in a war, then I teamed up with this girl and we “fought” together for the remainder until we won. Then she was leaving and I chased after her because I didn’t know her name and I wanted to be with her, like in a relationship. Then I woke up and I still wanted to be with this mystery girl. It was as if my dream self fell in love with her or something. I’ve always thought that I may be bisexual but I’ve always only thought of girls in a sexual way, never a romantic way. I’ve also never had a dream about wanting to be in a relationship with someone because it frightens me. The fact that I had such a strong feeling for a woman (albeit a dream woman) and never a man makes me wonder if maybe I’m starting to become more lesbian than bisexual.
Lauri: Dreams of wanting or being with the same gender are extremely common if you are straight. This is because unknown males and unknown females in dreams are most often connected to the dreamer’s own male assertive energy or female nurturing energy and suggest the dreamer, in waking life, is utilizing that particular energy well in their life. The dreams sometimes make the dreamer wonder about their sexual orientation but I always say, if the dream is the only thing that is making you wonder, and you otherwise have always had stronger feelings for one particular sex, then it’s a pretty safe bet that waking life is your true sexual reality.
Of course, this one dream isn’t going to give me or you a definitive answer as far as your orientation — not if you’re questioning it when you’re awake. What I can tell from the dream is that you have been having some inner conflict lately, as symbolized by the war. Your inner conflict is probably related to your fear of relationships. Do you see your friends in relationships and sort of want that for yourself but another part of you won’t allow it? Do you not feel you are worthy of a loving, healthy relationship?
It seems to me that the victory you had in the dream means the part of you that wants to have a relationship is winning over the part of you that does not. And that is a very good thing! Relationships can be very fulfilling and if they don’t work out, they help us grow as an individual. We learn what we do and don’t like, what qualities in a person are compatible with our personality and what is not. So leave yourself open to one. Start dating. If you don’t start experiencing relationships, you may never know what team you truly bat for‚Ä¶ and being true to yourself is the key to living your best life.
Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don‚Äôt forget: you can get access to Lauri‚Äôs Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri‚Äôs new book Dream On It, available everywhere!