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Email of the Week: Love Comes to Those Who Stop Hating Their Bodies

Wed, Sep 7, 2011

Advice, Dear Em & Lo

These are actually several emails over the past few months. We exchanged them with the reader who wrote into EMandLO.com about how hating her imperfect body was keeping her from having sex with a smoking hot guy:

Butter Body: Hey, Em & Lo! So, I think that I just might (fingers, eyes, everything but legs crossed) get cozy with a guy I’ve been crushing on forever. We’re friends, but frequently get a bit romantic when we hang out and naughty-text once in a while. I would love to have a relationship with him. He’s funny, adorable, and we get along so well. Then there’s the problem. He’s HOT. I’m talking smoke show. Super muscular and athletic, cute face, perfect teeth – the whole shebang. All of my friends think he’s a babe. However, I am not physically perfect. Far from it. Don’t get me wrong, I think I’m quite pretty, but I have lost 140 pounds, and had a baby. So basically my body is WRECKED. I really need a tummy tuck (or three), but I can’t afford it and insurance doesn’t cover it. And no, it’s not like a little pooch. It’s a big ol’ deal. I usually have great confidence in the sack because the few guys I’ve been with had their own body-quirks, too. I look pretty decent with clothes on, but I’m afraid that if it ever were to happen, he might get weird. (All of his past girlfriends had good bodies). I know I should be all “girl-power!” but I just don’t feel that I can muster up enough to get nekkid in front of him. I don’t want to not be my confident, happy self. I wish I could just ask him “hey, would this be a big deal?” but that seems weird. Help! Please sign me, ButterBody (everything’s good but her body)

Em & Lo: We LOVE you! You are awesome. Let’s make a deal: if we give you “official” advice, do you promise to write us back when/if you have sex with this guy and let us publish it on our site? We just love your voice! Let us know…

Butter Body: Yes, I will!! Thanks so much! This is killing me. For the meantime, I’ve decided that if the opportunity arises, I’m gonna hit that. Like a sledgehammer. :)

Em & Lo: Not sure if you noticed but we answered your question last week here [in which one of our tips is "Make like a honey badger and don't give a shit"]. Keep us posted!

Butter Body: Omg! You are fantastic. I’ve been on a trip in the boonies for a week and haven’t had Internet access! I will keep you posted and send you an email soon because there’s news to be had! Holler! :) ¬†P.S. We’re totally friends and I about peed myself because my new¬†honey badger T-shirt just came in the mail today! I adopted it as my new motto before I read your reply! Wha?

Butter Body: So…here’s the deal. I worked, strived, so hard for this hard-bodied guy’s attention. Never came. Once I stopped obsessing over how he’d judge my body, I found my own groove. Once I realized that I didn’t have the best body, but that I was seriously ok with my tummy, I found a guy who not only thinks, but BELIEVES that I am the sex goddess that I am. He is not perfect himself, and thinks that I am. And I think that he is! The sex is hot and amazing. Yay!

Em & Lo: Aw yeah. You go, you crazy little badass honey badger!


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3 Responses to “Email of the Week: Love Comes to Those Who Stop Hating Their Bodies”

  1. Shelly Says:

    Hi Em & Lo
    I too adopted the honey badger motto. I am 42, also very unhappy with my imperfect large body. Following my new motto, I hopped on a dating website. Well lets just say I’ve now got myself a 28 year old toyboy, who adores my body and makes me feel amazing. woo hoo

  2. HoneyB Says:

    Em and Lo, I just want to say thanks for answering (again!) my letter to you. I thought long and hard (hahahaha) about what you said, and I think that it made me more open to some positive self talk.

    Me and the new guy are still going hot and heavy. It’s been a month, and we already have notched that bedpost to smithereens. Whoo! We’re having the time of our lives, in our mid-30′s, because we’re not that worried about how we look, but how we make each other feel. And that is amazing!

    I really want to be your friends. Because you’ve helped me see the (happily dimmed) light.

  3. ROBIN Says:

    I CAN TRULY SAY I HAVE NOT ALWAYS BEEN COMFORTABLE WITH MY BODY. BUT WHEN I MET MY NEW MAN MY BOO HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS THE SEXIEST WOMEN ALIVE. I LOVE MY BODY AN HOW HE MAKES MY BODY FEEL. SEE REAL MEN SEE BEAUTY IN ALL SHAPES.BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER.


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