Sometimes it’s good to review the basics — you know, take a refresher course on a sexual staple like fellatio, especially if it’s been a while or you’ve gotten into a rut or you’re simply not as confident as you’d like to be in the oral skills department. If you happen to fall into any of these categories, then check out the basic steps below to help get you over the hump, as it were. (For those of you with female partners, tune in tomorrow morning for the cunnilingus primer!)
â€¢ Don’t always wait for him to ask: surprise him with it when he least expects it (or when he’s had a particularly bad day at work).
â€¢ It’s like The Little Engine Who Could: If you think you’re great at oral sex, then you will be. Confidence is key.
â€¢ Tie your hair back (or have him gently hold it back for you) to keep any stray strands from getting in your way and to give him a better view.
â€¢ Having full disclosure about potential STDs and using a condom if necessary will help you better focus on the pleasure at hand, rather than being overwhelmed with worry about the potential of exchanging infections (in either direction).
â€¢ Don’t worry about how you look down there: at that moment, you’re the most beautiful person in the world to him.
â€¢ Your tongue should be in constant motion, especially at the beginning: if his genitals are a blank canvas, then your tongue is a soft paintbrush that makes swirls like van Gogh’s.
â€¢ Don’t be afraid to get wet and messy with your salvia â€“ it’s more fun that way, not to mention easier.
â€¢ Breathe through your nose.
â€¢ Deep-throating is overrated. It’s not cheating to use your hands. In fact, making your hands an extension of your mouth can often mean the difference between out-of-this world oral and out-of-this-universe oral.
â€¢ If you’ve got a free hand, rub his surrounding territories: his tummy, inner thighs, perineum and testicles need tender loving care too.
â€¢ Make noise: it lets him know youâ€™re having a good time, plus, the vibration can feel nice.
â€¢ Gradually get into a groove, a steady up and down rhythm â€“ think of a sewing machine bobbin, only sexier.
â€¢ No need to do your best toothless-octogenarian impression, just keep your lips loose and soft, and keep your suction level set to low or off.
â€¢ It’s okay to come up for air whenever you need to, just be sure to continue the motion with your hands.
â€¢ If you don’t like him thrusting his pelvis or moving your head with his hands, speak up. This should feel good for you too (or at least, not uncomfortable).
â€¢ Once he’s on his final lap, fast and steady wins the race!
â€¢ What to do when he climaxes is your choice: whether you want to take a drink, use a spittoon, or finish him off with your hands is completely up to you.