We recently published an article on this site called “10 Tips to Stop Hating Your Body Enough to Have Sex.” All of the tips were well-intentioned and most of the them were of the warm-fuzzy variety. But one of them, #9, stated: “Fuck like a dude. Make like a man and hook up with a hottie if the opportunity presents itself without shame, reservation or (too much) self-reflection. Donâ€™t worry about him and what heâ€™s thinking; instead focus on your pleasure and how pumped youâ€™ll be to be able to tell your friends you did it with a smoke show.” To which reader Kyudin responded:
In the middle of a post about overcoming societyâ€™s bogus expectations, youâ€™re going to drop _this_ stereotype?
Um, touchĂ©. We should have specified that we were talking about stereotypically macho attitudes about sex, that we were focusing only on the positives that can come from not overthinking things, living in the moment and making your own pleasure a priority, while downplaying the negatives of such approaches (like selfishness, rudeness, lack of consideration, etc). None of these qualities — positive or negative — are the sole domain of either gender, of course. We were just using the stereotype as short hand (albeit inelegantly) for inspiration.