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Archive | 2011

Top 10 Sex Scandals of 2011

December 23, 2011


photo of DSK graffiti via Flickr

It’s the most top-10-list time of year! And we’re not even going to try to resist its allure. 2011 was no stranger to sex scandals (is any year?). Most were political and/or not really all that surprising. And so, without further ado….(click on the link for a summary of the scandal):

  1. DSK
  2. Shirtless congressman on Craigslist
  3. Arnold’s love child
  4. Nude celebrity photos - the leaked, the faked, the hacked
  5. Anthony Weiner chweeting
  6. Herman Cain’s runaway “love” train
  7. Beiber as babydaddy
  8. Bye bye “bunga bunga” Berlusconi
  9. Ashton’s betrayal
  10. Penn State

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Dear Dr. Kate, Why Are Some Periods Worse Than Others?

December 23, 2011

1 Comment

photo by greenchartreuse

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City and she answers your medical questions every few weeks on EMandLO.com. To ask her your own question, click here.

Dear Dr. Kate,

Why is my period worse some months more than others?

– Bloody Mary

Dear Mary,

Blame normal fluctuations in your hormone levels. Sometimes your uterus is stimulated with more prostaglandins, the chemicals that cause cramping, so you’re hitting the Advil bottle more than usual. And if your lining is thicker one month than another, you’ll see heavier bleeding and sometimes even clots. Variations like these are normal, albeit a pain to deal with. The easiest way to get predictable periods (both in flow and comfort) each month? Most hormonal birth control methods, especially the vaginal ring and the progesterone IUD (Mirena). They’ll make your periods lighter, shorter, and less crampy.

– Dr. Kate

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. She also lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. She generously shares her medical wisdom with EM & LO readers every few weeks. Check out more of her advice and ask her a question at Gynotalk.com.

Did Mariah Carey Invent the Sexy Santa Look?

December 22, 2011

1 Comment

Earlier this week on our site, we asked our Wise Guys what was up with the sexy Santa lingerie thing. Which naturally lead us to thinking about Mariah Carey, and how she basically owns the entire sexy Santa category, not to mention the sub-category of soft-core porn Santa. We know she didn’t exactly invent the look — scantily clad Santa’s helpers have been around for decades, and someone saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus years ago — but she’s made it her own again… and again… and again (Google-image-search “Sexy Mariah Santa” if you can handle even more).

Well, just in case anyone dared to think that the arrival of twin babies would cause Mariah to zip up her Santa suit to cover her cleavage, she recently unveiled — quite literally — her 2011 edition of Sexy Mariah Santa. This time around, it’s in a video for her remake of “All I Want For Christmas” with Justin Bieber. In the video, Mariah is apparently supposed to be a vintage animated Christmas card and Justin Bieber acts like he’s her awkward new stepson. She bumps and grinds against a wall while Bieber and his boy buddies push shopping carts around Macy’s looking for presents. Because when you find yourself alone in a Macy’s after hours with a Sexy Mariah Santa who could eat you for breakfast — you need backup, dudes.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

What’s the Worst Present You Ever Received from a Partner?

December 22, 2011


photo via flickr

Occasionally on this site, we ask you guys a nosy question and you can share your answer in the comments section below. Feel free to share your age, gender, relationship status, sexuality, etc., if you feel that it’s relevant to the answer. This week’s Question of the Week:

What’s the worst/most inappropriate/most disappointing gift you’ve ever received from a romantic partner at the holidays?

Oops! I Slept with a Co-Worker at the Office Holiday Party

December 21, 2011


Dear Em & Lo,

I slept with a co-worker after our holiday office party. We were both very drunk, and while I don’t regret it, I don’t want anything further with him. Unfortunately, he’s giving me all the signals that he’d like for us to continue what was, for me, just a one-night thing. To be honest, I’d probably be up for the occasional booty call, but I think he’s looking for more. We’re both at the same level in the company, so it’s not like there’s a power issue, but it’s definitely getting more awkward every day. Any ideas on how to extricate myself without making things worse?

–Hiding Behind the Office Plant


We know this isn’t particularly helpful, but we’ve gotta say it: We told you so. What were you thinking?!

Okay, clearly you weren’t thinking; the eggnog was in charge. So your New Year’s Resolution for 2011 is this: follow our advice to the letter. When we tell you to avoid the mistletoe at your holiday office party, we mean it. (What, you thought we were just jealous because we work from home and didn’t have a holiday office party?!)

In the meantime, you need to extricate yourself from this sticky situation (was it literally sticky? Please don’t tell us you got kinky with the eggnog). Given that the oversized office plant isn’t always going to be there for you, it’s time for a little old-fashioned communication. Invite your colleague to coffee and break out the old “I don’t shit where I eat” chestnut–though we recommend using a more delicate turn of phrase. (Not the pen and inkwell one either, lest he mistake you for a 55-year-old executive who just slept with his secretary.)

But don’t go overboard and imply that you’re head over heels in love with him and that you two are star-crossed lovers divided by a cubicle wall, because he might just quit his job in order to be with you (even more awkward!). Just keep things as vague as possible. Tell him, “I’m feeling a little bit uncomfortable about what happened at the party and I hope we can still be friends.” Or make light of things and say, “I hope we don’t make it into the next company newsletter… in the meantime, do you think we can just chalk it up to the eggnog and be friends?” For his ego’s sake, don’t let on that you know he’s really into you…just act like you both got drunk and did something stupid, and let him play along. (If we know guys’ egos, he will.)

By the way, don’t consider this a permission slip, but if you don’t have the labes for a coffee date, then emailing him some or all of the above is better than saying nothing at all. It’s still wussy as all hell, mind you, but the sooner you break the news to him, the better.

And next time? Don’t make us say we told you so. It may seem as if we like saying it, but we don’t.

Still telling you so,

Em & Lo

Comments of the Week: What’s Good for the Goose Is Good for the Gander

December 21, 2011

1 Comment

photo via Flickr

We wouldn’t want you to think EMandLO.com is anally fixated or anything, we just really appreciate the whole “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” argument when it comes to defending straight men being receptive to a little backdoor love. Hence, the second comment of the week in a row dedicated to anal attention. Several commenters have expressed similar notions, and we’ve included the best below, but we think BCofUIMHere really got to the heart of the matter most elegantly:

BCofUIMHere Says:
December 17th, 2011 at 3:22 pm e
Before I answer if anal play makes you gay, answer me this: Does going down on your girlfriend make you a lesbian?

Dannie Says:
November 30th, 2011 at 11:48 am e
It’s only gay if you’re having sex with a man. Gay men do anal, but they also have oral sex, so by your proxy reasoning, would having oral sex with your girlfriend make you gay, too? NO. Gay men kiss one another, too. So if you kiss your girlfriend, does that make you gay? NO. Gay men might hold hands sometimes, so if you hold hands with your girlfriend…you get the picture?

figleaf Says:
November 30th, 2011 at 1:09 pm e
1) Yeah, what Dannie said. Gay men have zippers on their pants, buttons on their shirts, and they brush and floss their teeth too. Brushing your teeth doesn’t make you gay, it just makes your girlfriend or wife a lot more interested in having sex with you. Having more sex with your girlfriend does not make you gay.

10 Rules for Surviving Your In-Laws This Holiday Season

December 20, 2011


You may tie each other up every Monday and feel completely comfortable exploring each other’s less traveled orifices, or you may consider doggie style to be “experimental” — but when it comes to the holidays, we’re all just a bunch of overgrown kids hoping to survive extended time with the in-laws (or potential future in-laws). We interviewed therapist Dr. Terri Orbuch, author of the book Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, who says she has found, in her long-term study of married couples, that when a husband or wife fails to get along with the in-laws, it’s predictive of marital unhappiness down the road. “On the flip side,” she says, “in the happiest marriages from my study, both spouses reported that they felt close to, or at least got along with, their in-laws.” We distilled Orbuch’s advice into 10 rules for making sure your relationship survives the onslaught of questionable family members this holiday season.

  1. Make your partner a priority — and stand up for them. You can affect your parents’ behaviors and how they treat your spouse by treating your spouse with respect, dignity, and validation. If your parents love you, they want what is best for you. And the best thing for you is a happy spouse who wants to spend time with your family.
  2. Set a time limit. Short visits may be the happiest ones.
  3. Manage expectations. Don’t expect praise, warmth, and approval from your partner’s family. Realistic expectations reduce frustration.
  4. Your mother-in-law is not your partner. Don’t let the anger you have toward your mother-in-law (or your partner’s drunk inappropriate uncle) be misplaced on your partner.
  5. Learn to say when. You may need to accept the chill between you and your in-laws and simply learn to be decent and get along.
  6. Maintain your relationship privacy. Meddling in-laws sometimes want to invade the privacy between you and your partner. Set clear boundaries regarding what you will tell your in-laws and parents, because they often make terribly biased and unhelpful relationship counselors.
  7. Be a reporter. One of the best ways to keep conversations light is to ask questions and get your in-laws talking — about their work, childhood, interest in hedge trimming, etc. People love talking about themselves.
  8. Deflect — or at least postpone — negativity. If your in-law criticizes you, your partner, or a member of your family, simply smile and reply with a neutral comment, such as, “Think so?” Later, after the holidays are over and you have more control over the setting, you can share that it hurt your feelings.
  9. It’s the holidays, do you really need to make an issue out of whether or not you and your partner get to share a bedroom? Besides, who wants to have sex after overindulging in a massive, rich, holiday meal?
  10. Take a walk with your partner. Everyone understands the need for a walk after a big meal. Get out of the house and take some deep breaths together to remind yourselves of who you’re dating/living with/married to (i.e. not each other’s parents!).

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Naked News: Rogue Sperm Donation, Teen Group Sex, and the End of Marriage

December 20, 2011


Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Wise Guys: What’s with the Sexy Santa Lingerie Meme?

December 20, 2011

1 Comment

photo from Santa Speedo Run

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “– What is up with the sexy Santa lingerie meme?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Married Straight Guy (Jake): This one is all about word association and sneakery. Santa determines if you are naughty or nice, sneaks into your house in the middle of the night and leaves you something. It is almost automatic for the male mind to transfer this to a sexy red lace-clad hottie, a naughty one, jingling your bells with her one horse open sleigh.

Single Straight Guy (Megan): There is a fetish for everything: stuffed animals, high-heels, latex, role-play and even Cloverfield monsters.  The sexy holiday thing is another one of these. And there are enough guys who are into — or at least enough guys who’ll fall for a marketing gimmick — to make it mainstream. Personally, I just can’t get behind, as it were.  There is nothing less sexy to me than the thought of my partner in an outfit that reminds me of four-legged animals with pointy antlers; the icy North Pole; tiny, Spock-eared toy-makers in green skirts made of burlap; and the presents I didn’t get for Christmas.  My partner in a Santa outfit is as sexy as watching David Hasselhoff eating a cheeseburger off the floor.   I’d rather listen to Mike Tyson and Gilbert Gottfried sing Christmas carols than see my lover jingle all the way in a stocking cap.  All of that said, I think I’m going to have to try it.  You never know, right?

Committed Gay Guy (Dwayne): Since the very first sexy Santa, the meme snowballed and now it’s just the done thing. Over the past few decades, the “trend” to wear sexy santa lingerie became mainstream thanks to its use in advertisements, appearances on YouTube, etc.  Sex sells in our culture, from the “Sexiest Man Alive” and celebrity sex tapes to pundits debating Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann’s attractiveness; it gets everyones attention, especially men’s, and especially when linked to an icon. Of course, it didn’t hurt that dressing up in themed underwear is always a great way to shock and entice a lover (never worked for me — usually just gets a laugh). So it reached a tipping point, and since most people feel comfortable doing what “everyone” else is doing, it’s now a traditional part of our Christmas culture (like it or not).

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Committed Gay Guy is Dwayne Resnick, a mid-20th-century decorative arts dealer in NY’s Hudson Valley; our Single Straight Guy is The Meeglet blogger Megan, a former librarian whose Men of the Stacks calendar benefits the It Gets Better Project, and our Married Straight Guy is Jake Kulji, a Minneapolis-based freelance writer who blogs at Analogue Living and who has written two Minnesota hiking and camping guidebooks. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Gift Guides for That Special Someone

December 19, 2011


photo by plindberg

After your dad, your significant other is the most difficult person in the world to buy presents for. After all there’s so much pressure — you want it to strike the right note, convey your love, perhaps your desire, show just how well you know them, and at the same time be a surprise. So here are some gift guides to help you get it right with the one you love. (We know you need this because you still haven’t gotten them something yet, procrastinator):

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered