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Wise Guys: What Would You Do As a Woman for One Day?

Tue, Jan 31, 2012

Advice, Wise Guys

photo via Flickr

dvice from three of EMandLO.com‚Äôs¬†guy friends. This week they answer the following:¬†‚ÄúWhat would you do if you had one day to be and think like a woman?‚Ä̬†To ask the guys your own question,¬†click here.

wiseguy_benStraight Married Guy (Ben):¬†The very first thing I’d do is make out with my wife — ¬†so hot when she kisses other women. And really, I hate to be so cliche, but I’m probably like 9 out of 10 guys in that, with just one day as a woman, I’d prolly focus in on the physical experience of being a woman. In other words, lots of sex — lots of it with my wife and lots of it with whatever guys I could find (don’t worry, all okayed by my wife should this ever occur, as long as I play safe, she says). I’d probably have to leave the house at some point for more supplies (food, condoms, men, etc.) and I imagine it’d be at that point that I’d find out all about things like objectification, sexism and just how terrible men are as a class. This, I figure would be completely overwhelming and depressing. So I’d beat a quick retreat home and back into bed.

anonymous_suitStraight Single Guy (Max): Obviously, the first thing I would do is try to have an orgasm. Or rather, orgasms. As many as possible. As a man, I’ve always been a bit jealous and very curious about the possibilities of multiple orgasms, and given this opportunity, I would go for it. After that? I’d probably go out and try to get some nice young man to buy me a whole lot of drinks, a fancy dinner, and maybe torture him a bit before I went home, alone, and pursued even more orgasms.¬†Because hey: I’m still a straight guy, even if I’m in a woman’s body. I assume that I would retain my sexual orientation within such a magical transformation, and thus would not want to take a dude home. I’d feel bad about it, and I certainly don’t encourage women to take this route, but experimenting with men as a woman… well, it gets confusing.

Gay Single Guy (Daniel):¬†I have often wondered what the difference is between straight women and gay men when it comes to how they think and feel about men in general. My suspicion is that it’s probably very similar. Even more interesting to me is how women approach sex with a man. Having enough male privilege, I could say that I’d fearlessly go after the kind of straight man I could never have as a gay man. But since I’ve never really experienced a fear of sexual violence towards me, that aspect would surely add another layer of complication/fascination to pursuing said straight man. Oh, and while I was at it, I’d definitely masturbate a lot so I could experience the most ecstatic multiple orgasm ever.

Our ‚Äúwise guys‚ÄĚ are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Ben, a writer and artist living in Los Angeles who runs AdultParlorGames.com; our Gay Guy is is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; and our Single Straight Guy, Max, is a recent college grad in New York City. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

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12 Responses to “Wise Guys: What Would You Do As a Woman for One Day?”

  1. Straight Married Guy Says:

    No doubt, I would do everything in my power to have as much lesbian sex as possible. Just imagining soft, silky skin on more soft, silky skin gives me goose bumps. I would probably try to lick my own girl parts.

  2. figleaf Says:

    I guess it depends on how “as a woman” I really was. It sounds like most of the answers assume that you’d still be interested in other women.

    I’m going to assume that if you’re hetero before the switch you’d still be hetero after.

    Which means I’d probably want to figure out how to spend the time having sex with a man.

    Which might sound like an odd choice but hey, day after that you’d be back in your old body, right? And obviously assuming you were straight before then you’d go back to interest in sex with women partners.

    Since I’m… pretty sure most people, men and women, like the idea of figuring out what their partners would enjoy during sex, I think it would be a good idea to try and find out what experiencing you is like to your partner(s.)

    Call me a rebel here but… I’d be curious to know how many switched-for-a-day men would be as enthusiastic about facials, spontaneous unprepped anal, and high heels in bed after trying it themselves.

    A question that might illuminate where I’m going would be “What would you do if you and your partner switched sexes for one day?”

    Great question.

    figleaf

  3. Johnny Says:

    Besides the obvous lesbian sex? Sex for money. Dead serious. This isn’t the first time this scenario has crossed my mind. My willingness to perform almost any sex act combined with the hot appearance I’d inherit (he, we’re fantasizing here) could earn me a fortune. A few porn scenes later and I’d turn back into me up a few grand, and with no recrimination! I’m guessing no one would know that hot freaky woman was me.

    That’s if I had one day. If I had a whole month, in addition to getting rich off my hot bod, I would further my understanding of gender relations by actually entering relationships with men (assuming I inherited some female-to-male attraction during this magical switcheroo).

  4. Dannie Says:

    I love how all these men assume off the bat that they’ll be a hot, desirable woman with no problem getting sex. I’d like to see what would happen if they were a plain woman, or even an ugly one. Of course you can learn about sexism while being hot, but it’s a different flavor. The sexism one experiences when not the typical definition of “attractive” is harsh, unveiled, and mean. Speaking of self esteem, I wonder how women would picture themselves as men? Super hot, or just themselves with masculine features, or something else?

  5. Johnny Says:

    ^ I took advantage of the hypothetical situation to imagine myself as a hot chick, yes. But if my actual appearance as a man were transmuted into womanhood, I’d be pretty unexceptional-looking.

    As for the sexism that comes with looks-ism, I have no doubt that it exists, and that it stings. But don’t assume that looks-ism is something just women experience. Men get it plenty. If a better-looking guy is in the room, it’s like you’re not even there.

    In fact, I remember specifically relating to the average-looking female experience once when I hit the town with my hot player friend. Once he walks in, it’s game over for every other man in the room. Like you’re invisible. You try to talk to a woman, and she’s like, “huh? yeah, whatever… What were you saying, Hot Player?”

    I do well with women, which is what it all comes down to for me, so normally my average appearance doesn’t bother me at all. But on that occasion I felt pretty bad about myself. Just really insecure, unimportant, and ignored based solely on my appearance. I imagined that I was experiencing exactly the same thing that many women do, and it kind of marked a major shift in perspective for me.

  6. Johnny Says:

    ^ Oh and by the way, if we imagine ourselves as hot chicks, it’s not just a sex appeal thing. It’s an overall power thing.

    People talk about the white male like he’s the pinnacle of power and privilege. Wrong. There is no more powerful and privileged type of human being than a beautiful woman.

    So yeah, the idea of walking a mile in those shoes – those 4-inch heels – is HIGHLY appealing.

    By the way, I said I’d rent my bod for sex because that’s what I like, and I’ve only got a day. If I were a corporate type and you gave me a DECADE as a hot woman, I’d make a billion dollars.

  7. Dannie Says:

    Lol @ Johnny. I totally got what you were going at; my comment wasn’t directed at you, though it was inspired by you. The others just took it for granted that they’d be able to get sex whenever they wanted. You stated your premise from the beginning. And looks-ism is definitely not just a female thing; I just thought it interesting.

  8. Max Says:

    I’d probably only have sex once, unless there was something I really wanted to research about it. I’d definitely try to spend as much time out in public as possible, it would be ridiculously interesting to see what it’s like in the social world being a woman. I wonder if all my assumptions about it are all wrong.

  9. Annica Says:

    I think it’s funny that so many of the men mentioned trying those amazing multiple orgasms we women are walking around having all the time. I think they’re missing all the statistics on how hard it is for a lot of women to orgasm even once. It takes a god awful amount of work for a lot of us, and sometimes that doesn’t even do it. If I were a guy, I’d like to try one of those easy orgasms.

  10. Pinkrose Says:

    I find it interesting that none of the male respondents have addressed the difference between having testosterone as one’s primary hormone and having estrogen as one’s primary hormone. There have been studies (I am not sure which, and don’t have the resources to search them out), that have shown a link between estrogen levels and a women’s mental heath.

  11. A BiPolar Guy Says:

    If I were a plain woman (like I’m a plain guy) would I really have trouble getting sex? I’m not talking about getting dates or a relationship or even being picked up in a bar. I mean flat out walk up to a single guy, say you really want to have sex asap, no strings attached. Would it be that hard to get a yes? Seems to me the only real problem would be getting over the suspicion problem. A lot of people don’t trust things that sound to good to be true. Fi

  12. Joe Anderson Says:

    If i was a woman for a day I wouldn’t be thinking like a man because there will be no testosterone, if i randomly turned into a completely female one day, I would be thinking like a female because of the estrogen and progesterone in my body. This will cause me to want to have sexual intercourse with male partners. Think about dream wedding. Checking out men. Wearing women clothing and enjoying shopping. I will be very emotional and I will probably want to get pregnant with a baby. And the effect of me being a women that day will cause me to want to be a women forever.


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