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Comment of the Week: What I’ve Learned in 50 Years of Oral Sex

Thu, Feb 23, 2012

Comment of the Week, Confessions

photo via flickr

In response to the post “How Do I Tell My BF He Sucks at Oral?” reader Dr Mountbank wrote the following (to massive acclaim from his fellow posters):

I’m an Old Guy, 70 to be exact. I have over 50 years of experience going down on women, and I can say without hesitation that each woman is different. Patience young men (and young women, too!), patience and a willing heart combined with a woman who feels SAFE telling you what she wants and can do so clearly…that is the key to bring many women to peak passionate release. For me there is nothing quite like pleasing a woman; first learning about her, and then pleasing her.

I want younger men and women to know that when I say practice and learning and all that, that I am not talking about years or even months. You can earn – as I did – the appellation of “an educated tongue” within a few hours or a few days. I was 23 when I was told for the first time – post cunnilingus, of course – that I had an “Educated Tongue.” And she wasn’t talking about linguistic facility in Mandarin. But she WAS talking about communication, that is communication between us via my tongue, lips, chin (yes boys, chin) and…this may be the most difficult to imagine without guffawing: my nose. (Settle down, Children, settle down…)

Now using virtually all of your facial features to pleasure a lady may seem not only far-fetched but just plain weird, but I’m trying to stir your imaginations; women are happy if you just learn to use your tongue intelligently and passionately (really truly enjoy what you are doing, Boys!). But if you’re willing to put in the time, then you may one day be able to surprise your woman with a double-tucking chin push followed by a nose-over combination double-twisting tongue-flip. That’s what took me fifty years to perfect! And I am only being slightly silly there, Lads. Some of those things I can actually still do!

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5 Responses to “Comment of the Week: What I’ve Learned in 50 Years of Oral Sex”

  1. Jenna Says:

    I hope I’m this awesome when I’m 70

  2. elizabeth Says:

    seconded. nice to hear from an enlightened guy.

  3. john Says:

    I’m only 66 with still much to learn, but I’ve known for at least 45 years that oral sex is at least as much fun to give than to get. And, I love getting it!

  4. 28yo female Says:

    This is the wisest and funniest damn comment I’ve ever read.

  5. D-Man Says:

    So well put!!! Communication is KEY. Don’t take it for granted because ALL women are different and it will sometimes seem that what worked last time isn’t what works ALL the time.
    But….
    Once the lines of communication are open and the techniques are properly worked out…..THEN you gents will learn what it means to “Have the flower bloom on your chin”!!!


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