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Comment of the Week: Why I Don’t Fantasize During Sex

Wed, Apr 18, 2012

Comment of the Week, Confessions

photo via flickr

Figleaf does it again this week, dropping his wise words on the topic of sexual fantasies. This was in response to a post titled, “Question of the Week: Do You Fantasize About Other People During Sex?”

Pretty much ever since I first heard an “expert” mention sexual fantasies, I’ve heard that it’s not only common but “perfectly natural” to fantasize about someone else during sex. I never have.

Actually, technically that’s not true. At one point I deliberately tried to, but it didn’t work and wasn’t very interesting anyway. And who knows, maybe it’s just that I do fantasize about sex with other people often enough to get it out of my system or something. But… sex with the person I’m with has always been interesting enough for me.

I dunno. When I’m at the beach I don’t fantasize about going skiing. When I’m eating I don’t fantasize about drinking tea. When I’m reading Em & Lo I don’t fantasize about reading Dan Savage. Call me short-sighted or uncreative but it’s the same thing with sex.

Finally, I wouldn’t mind if a partner fantasized about someone else while she was having sex with me. It’s not like it’s a value judgment. Just because I’m not wired for it, doesn’t mean nobody else should be either.

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