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Top 10 Worst Things to Hear on a First Date

Wed, Apr 11, 2012

Advice, How To

photo via Flickr

Consider this advice on what NOT to say on a first (or second or third or fourth or fifth…) date:

  1. You remind me of my ex.
  2. I can’t stay out too late tonight — the season finale of “The Bachelorette” is on.
  3. Cutco knives are so awesome.
  4. I only cry during rom coms…and right after sex.
  5. I should warn you, my penis is unusually large.
  6. Contraception is not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.
  7. I can’t wait to show you my teddy bear collection.
  8. Just a sec, I have to text back my mom.
  9. The last novel I read? That one by Snooki.
  10. It’s chilly, I should have worn my cape.
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14 Responses to “Top 10 Worst Things to Hear on a First Date”

  1. Nikki Says:

    Ha! I had a job selling Cutco knives for about three days right after high school.

  2. Paul Says:

    What’s wrong with teddy bears? I’m a perfectly straight male who happens to like them. :)

  3. Lamia Says:

    Lmao! I sold Cutco too! I still have two of the knives and the scissors.

    Those knives are pretty awesome

  4. Johnny Says:

    I too sold Cutco knives for 3 days in high school. Remember the rope-cutting demonstration? My friend’s dad sliced off a small bit of my finger tip during that part. My finger print now has a distinctive smooth area.

  5. jim Says:

    Hold on, we’re all assuming this is a date that’s going well! These are some of my go-to lines to bail! ;)

  6. Johnny Says:

    ^ Ha!

  7. Michael Says:

    I just want to tell you up front that I have herpes. Talk about a buzz kill!

  8. natasiarose Says:

    “Let’s get matching tattoos” Yeah, she said it. I considered it for a second. :p

  9. Tessa Says:

    Hey, what’s wrong with capes? They’re good enough for super heroes, they’re good enough for me. *grin*

  10. Aub Says:

    Capes are cool. Just saying. :)

  11. Kay Says:

    Not gonna lie, I told my guy that I sold Cutco up front, except mine was to brag- sold over $30,000 in 4 months. Those knives ARE awesome! :D

  12. Angela Says:

    Whatever you do…don’t ask if there’s a spark! Got asked if there was a spark…was the most awkward uncomfortable reply ever…definitely no.

  13. ddawn Says:

    Another “buzz kill” when someone tells you that yes they’ve had numerous partners in the past few years and no they haven’t been tested for std’s! Cuz there are quite a few ‘asymptomatic’ carriers in the world of sexually transmitted diseases.

  14. dmc Says:

    “I’m crazy”… (cackling laugh, forced thru frozen smile) “can’t say you weren’t warned!”… (beady eyes fixed, watch for any reaction)..

    (small talk… subject change… current event throw-away line)

    “I’m crazy!… can’t say you never knew!…”

    check, please

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