Committed Gay Guy (Dwayne):
1. talking about ex boyfriends
2. planning the wedding
Married Straight Guy (Jake): This is the kind of thinking that we need to break away from. There are no three top things, three best things, three worst things that will make your first date the best. Checklists that other people create for you can cause neurosis, unnecessary worrying and sweaty palms. This is a battered and bruised cliché, but seriously, just be yourself. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by acting, talking, eating and laughing naturally. Anything else is a waste of time.
Single Straight Guy (Megan): My most recent first date turned into four dates in the same day with the same woman. She broke quite a few rules from my style manual. She made fun of my cardigan. (I still have it and it is pretty atrocious, but still..). She played games when I asked for her phone number. She was a wee heavy on the makeup. She got buzzed and emotional. She accepted a flower from another man. Each of these is a no-no for me. Despite those violations, we had an amazing day. We had lunch together. We went for a midafternoon drink. We met again for dinner. We met back at her place for a late night dip in the hot tub. We would not have gotten past the lunch if there wasn’t something there. We wouldn’t have gone for a drink if there wasn’t something there. We definitely wouldn’t have warmed up the hot tub if there wasn’t something there. If you feel it, ignore your rules. Go with your gut, but know your limits, too. If she had talked on the phone throughout lunch, I would have walked; but she didn’t. Sometimes it’s better to swallow your rules. You’ll learn more about the person opposite you, but you’ll also learn something about yourself. Your palate might just be ready for those brussel sprouts you’ve avoided for so long.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Committed Gay Guy is Dwayne Resnick, a mid-20th-century decorative arts dealer in NY’s Hudson Valley; our Single Straight Guy is The Meeglet blogger Megan, a former librarian whose Men of the Stacks calendar benefits the It Gets Better Project, and our Married Straight Guy is Jake Kulji, a Minneapolis-based freelance writer who blogs at Analogue Living and who has written two Minnesota hiking and camping guidebooks. To ask the guys your own question, click here.