Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “We read a lot about women who ‘have sex like men.’ What do you think it would mean to ‘have sex like a woman’?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Straight Single Guy (Tom Miller): I think it just means liking to have your hair pulled. I kid. I think, very broadly stereotyping here, that a fella who wanted to have sex like a woman would want to take things very slowly. Hours of foreplay followed by slow, rhythmic lovemaking, plenty of eye contact and scented candles. Afterwards there would be much cuddling. But, in real life, some ladies like it hard and fast and doggie-style and some guys want to orgasm simultaneously and hold hands and collapse into tearful, sleepy embrasure. Allegedly, it’s easier for dudes to have sex without emotional connection, but who knows if that’s true.
Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): I hate it when people say this or that woman “has sex like a man.” No, it just means we’ve got really dim stereotypes about women and sex. So I’m not enthusiastic about rising to the “sex like a woman” bait. But if I had to answer I’d say “to have sex like a woman” would be to (only on average, obviously): a) when younger, have sex slightly more often than he really felt like it but not quite as long as he liked when he did have sex; and b) when older have sex slightly less often than she really felt like it but a little longer than she liked when she did have sex.
Another way that, I think, a lot of people have sex that is attributed to “sex like a woman” is noticing all the really pleasurable things about sex that aren’t orgasms… while possibly wondering why he can’t have orgasms with his partner as easily as he can have them by himself.
Gay Married Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): I’m going to go with wishful thinking here and say it means having orgasms that last twenty seconds and can be repeated over and over and over again. You lucky bitches.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. Tom Miller writes the Tomfoolery blog for YourTango; this week’s Gay Married Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish; and our Straight Married Guy is Figleaf, the guy behind RealAdultSex.com. To ask the guys your own question, click here.