photo via flickr
Other people‚Äôs dreams are never interesting‚Ä¶except when they‚Äôre about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it.¬†This week, a reader asks Lauri:
I hope you have some kind of idea why my girlfriend (not me) had this dream. It’s not a serious matter (so far), but I am worried my girlfriend is having a bigger problem with my ex or the story around it than I assumed.
A necessary story before I describe her dream:
I fell in love with my girlfriend in mid- March. I was sure she wouldn’t be interested in a relationship. So I left her study town again after a “friends with benefits” weekend” to continue my study stuff. ¬†I had the chance to stay at my ex-gf’s place for two nights but went there with real bad feelings. Well, we had “petting” but I didn’t have sex with her and went to bed. I couldn’t do it with my girlfriend on my mind.
After the weekend, I went back to my girlfriend and told her, with a bad conscience, that I stayed at my ex-gf’s place. I told her that I couldn’t have sex with my ex because I had her in mind the entire time (which is true). I showed her the¬† text message from my ex, which said, “Is there a reason why we didn’t have sex?” Well, yeah. This should be enough of the pre-story.
Last Wednesday my girlfriend messaged me, while I was in the office, that she felt really “sick” because she dreamt of me and my ex-gf “having fun in bed and I can’t stop thinking about it.” Quote from my girlfriend: “One part of myself is going crazy, screams and wants you to delete her from Facebook, Skype and the other part tells me that’s nonsense, I don’t want to be like that.”
Well, I was kind of shocked… I don’t know what the trigger was (I have no contact with my ex anymore, since my girlfriend and I got together). My ex-gf hurt my feelings especially bad, and I had sexual contact with her while Steph and I had strong feelings for each other — we just hadn’t admitted it to each other yet. ¬†Those are the two things I can think of. But can’t find the link (except for the obvious one: jealousy).
Lauri:¬†The thing about the dreaming mind is that it forces us to be brutally honest with ourselves when the waking mind refuses to be. Your girlfriend’s dream is a clear indication that she is very much bothered by what went down between you and your ex.
The emotions we have when we wake from a dream can be directly connected to those same emotions we have regarding something in our waking life. She is “sick” and upset about it… even though it seems she is trying to be “cool.” ¬†¬†Her dreams aren’t going to let her lie to herself.
Calling you and telling you about the dream is pretty much a call for help. She is hurt and she wants you to make her feel better. Is it really necessary to have a connection to your ex on Skype and Facebook? Give your girlfriend some peace of mind — and better dreams — and delete the ex.
Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don‚Äôt forget: you can get access to Lauri‚Äôs Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri‚Äôs book Dream On It, available everywhere!