Other people‚Äôs dreams are never interesting‚Ä¶except when they‚Äôre about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:
My husband and I have been having trouble in bed. I’ve gained some weight and I can’t seem to turn him on. We haven’t had sex in over a month. Partly due to my period and the fact that I was out of town a few weeks but I have been home for 2 weeks now and no sex still. This morning he told me that he had a dream last night about a threesome. He said we were in Las Vegas (we went recently and have been talking about going back soon) and that I asked him to go hire a hooker because I wanted to have a threesome. I’m not bi at all and I would never consider the idea of a threesome. He knows I am very jealous. What does this mean? Does it mean he wants a threesome or he will cheat because he is unsatisfied with me? He says he loves me and would never be with another woman and I’ve never had trust issues but I’m scared since I don’t turn him on. What should I do?
Lauri:¬†Since this is hubby’s dream, you’ll have to do your best to get inside his head and his thoughts so we can figure this out. I am going to go ahead and assume that he is not testing out the waters with you by telling you he dreamed of a threesome but instead I will take him at his word that he did actually have this dream and that he does mean it when he says he would never be with another woman.
The threesome in the dream is most likely symbolic of something else. You mentioned right off the bat that you have gained weight and don’t believe your husband is turned on by you anymore. You could be right. A woman’s intuition is a powerful thing! Through this dream, it seems your hubby is trying to adjust to the new you. With the added weight you probably look and act sometimes like a person your husband is not used to. This may be where the third person (the hooker) comes in. The hooker represents your sexual side, the part that wants to hook him and reel him into the bedroom! You asked for the hooker in the dream because you are the one asking for sex in waking life. He may feel that having sex with you now, with your new body, will feel like a different person than he is used to. I do think this dream shows he’s trying.
My hubby has told me several times that men are visual creatures and need to be visually stimulated. Why do you think so many women succumb to getting breast implants, weaves, lip fillers, etc.? Of course, this is certainly not true for all men… but it is true for many. Your hubby may need some visual stimuli. Next time you’re in the mood, try tramping it up… you know, fishnet, garters, a lacy push up bra and stilettos. And there’s certainly nothing wrong with opening a bottle of wine and renting a porno to – ahem – get the juices flowing! And if you’re not feeling as fit as you’d like, then by all means start doing some cardio. Not only will it make you healthier, you and hubby will probably find yourselves wanting to spend a lot more time in bed too!
Dreamer’s Response:¬†Thank you for your reply! I feel like you hit the nail right on the head. I had been feeling down because of my insecurities and he noticed. Finally after a few days of him asking me what’s wrong I told him that I was scared of him cheating because he was not sexuality attracted to me. He opened up and said that although he loves me and is truly committed to our marriage vows he is not happy with my weight gain. He says that me being so sedentary during my time off is a turn off and would like me to start working out. He wouldn’t just say that he had a dream to see what I would say. He actually looked worried to admit it which scared me more. He shows me he loves me all the time and after talking to him I know it’s exactly what you said. When it comes to sexual things I’m just not the same person he was attracted to before, I’m different to him. When it’s normal things he’s comfortable because that’s the personality side that he fell in love with. Thanks again for your help! I am working out now and I am starting a new diet!!
Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don‚Äôt forget: you can get access to Lauri‚Äôs Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri‚Äôs book Dream On It, available everywhere!