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Wise Guys: Is There Such a Thing As Too Much Porn?

Tue, Sep 11, 2012

Advice, Wise Guys

Advice from Ask the Wise Guys
Your Own Question!
three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends
. This week they answer the following: “Is there such a thing as too much porn? If so, how much is too much?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Straight Single Guy (Tom Miller): Yes. If beating off makes getting an erection to have sex with an actual person difficult or unseemly, it may be time to block RedTube. I‚Äôm not sure how many guys really love porn, we just like anything that facilitates ejaculating and doesn’t require much effort. If stepping on tacks would give us a boner, foot-related Tetanus would be rampant in this country.

joel_derfner_100Gay Married Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): My therapist thinks there is, but I think he got his degree while Queen Victoria was still on the British throne, so I don’t listen to him. I suppose that if a guy ends up preferring porn to you, then you’re in trouble — but in such a case, the porn isn’t really the problem.

anonymous_suitStraight Married Guy (Figleaf):¬†Not sure I understand the question but I kind of like it. Too much porn in relation to what? Too much bad porn? Sure. Too much to “enjoy” it all in a lifetime? That too. Too much for it all to be produced consensually and in work-safe and health-safe conditions? That too. Too much to be able to watch or read as much as you want and still have time for a real-life partner? Or, for that matter, for a real life, period? Sometimes, maybe, but usually not.

Bottom line for me is that yes, there’s “too much” porn just like there’s “too much” sports on TV, too many knitting patterns, too many yard sales, too many parties, and too many beaches and playgrounds to use your metal detector to find old nickels and bottle caps. Most people manage how much they consume, and make sure what they do consume, they consume in a responsible fashion that doesn’t interfere with their lives or the lives of their loved ones. Other people have problems. But I think it’s usually more about having a problem, period, not what you have a problem with.

Our ‚Äúwise guys‚ÄĚ are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. Tom Miller writes the Tomfoolery blog for YourTango; this week‚Äôs Gay Married Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish; and our Straight Married Guy is Figleaf, the guy behind RealAdultSex.com. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

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3 Responses to “Wise Guys: Is There Such a Thing As Too Much Porn?”

  1. Johnny Says:

    Oh yeah. With my gal out of the country for ten days, I am currently in the throes of “too much porn.” I have been abusing myself like I was 18 again. She comes home in 2 days, so I cut myself off yesterday to restore my depleted vigors.

    How to determine what’s ‘too much porn’ is easy.

    Too much is when you watch for much longer than it takes to get a boner and jack off.

    Too much is when your stroking becomes increasingly furious yet your fluid output dwindles to practically nothing.

    Too much is when you couldn’t get laid even if your dream girl stormed your bedroom because you’re so wanked out.

    Too much is when you develop a sore on your penis (not to leave women out, but let’s face it: very few women masturbate their genitals raw compared to men).

    Too much is when watching a beautiful young girl have sex is no longer enough, and you need to consume increasingly sick shit to get turned on.

    I could go on, but I feel like those are the main points.

  2. Luna Says:

    Johnny, I always love your responses! You seem like an intelligent, balanced, and laid-back gentlemen! I have a question for you, when you go on a a little “porn binge” like you describe above while your girl is out of town, how does it affect your sex life when she gets back? Does it change anything? Just a girl curious. I am trying so hard to be porn positive in my relationship :)

  3. Johnny Says:

    Thanks Luna.

    Yes, the porn binges have a negative effect on my real-life sex life. That’s why I quit a couple days before my little lady gets back. Last time she left town I wanked continuously until the day before she got back, and that wasn’t enough time. It led to less-than-optimal erectile performance (maybe 70% of full power). It also caused reduced sensitivity in my wang. And, predictably, that pissed her off. Having not gotten any in 2 weeks either, she was hoping for more than that.

    That episode made me feel old. As a young man no amount of pornographic masturbation could slake my thirst for the real thing. I guess I’m past my prime – shit!


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