Advice from three ofÂ EMandLO.comâ€™sÂ guy friends. This week they answer the following:Â â€śIf we’re talking about guys making a move on a stranger, what makes someone approachable?â€ťÂ To ask the guys your own question,Â click here.
Married Bisexual Guy (Bryan Sebeck): As somebody whoâ€™s spent a decent amount of time giving advice to guys who want to go out and meet people romantically, I can tell you that itâ€™s quite simple. Guys will look for any number of things that all tie back to one central question: â€śHow likely is it that they’re going to shoot me down?â€ť Itâ€™s a big risk that a guy is taking by approaching someone that he doesnâ€™t know and so I always tell guys to look for signs that they’re into you, or at least open to talking.
If thereâ€™s one thing for you to take away from this, itâ€™s to look like youâ€™re having a good time. No guy is ever going to approach somebody who looks like they’re having a bad time unless he lost a bet or Mystery is around the corner giving him challenges. This is as simple as laughing, smiling, and talking to the people youâ€™re with, but it makes all of the difference. From there, you just make it known that you want him to approach you.
In the â€śpickupâ€ť industry, they call these Indicators of Interest. They work like a charm. Make eye contact when nobody else in your group is looking his way. Keep the eye contact for a few seconds before looking away, repeat. If youâ€™re in a crowded bar, brush lightly against him as you walk past. Heâ€™ll notice you, and probably think itâ€™s a complete coincidence. Just remember that guys are horrible at picking up subtle signals and need a little bit more guidance than you think they ought to. When in doubt just ask yourself what you can do to make it clear that heâ€™s not likely to get shut down. With just a little practice, you should be able to have him approaching you in no time.
SingleÂ Straight Guy (Nick): There are a lot of things that are fairly universal in this area: smiling, laughing, being energetic, talking to other people who are around, making eye contact. Most dating and courtship studies show that men will typically only approach a woman if there is a moment where the two make lingering eye contact. On the other side of that, when men DO approach a woman when no eye contact has been made, or if the eye contact is fleeting, he will usually be shot down.
If there is a specific guy that you want to approach you, let him catch you looking. When he does catch you looking, donâ€™t look away, allow your eyes to lock for a moment. Chances are heâ€™ll come over and say hi.
Single Bisexual Guy (Jack): Having been hit on myself, I have heard a lot of crazy lines from being asked my sign, to if I was psychic, to a rather inept description of someoneâ€™s endowment (that was supposed to be some sort of lure). In every case, though, Iâ€™d say I was open and willing to talk to people, and thatâ€™s the only thing I can think that made me approachable.
RELATED LINKS ON EMandLO.com:
- How to Pull Off a Cheesy Pickup Line
- How Women Can Ask Men Out (Part 1)
- How Women Can Ask Men Out (Part 2)
Our â€świse guysâ€ť are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Married Bisexual Guy is Bryan Sebeck, a newlywed engineer and artist working in Detroit, MI who blogs at A Yooper Steampunk; our Single Bisexual Guy is Jack, a software consultant based in Phoenix, ArizonaÂ who blogs at Facets of Our Lives;; and our Single Straight Guy isÂ Â Nick German, a network technician based in Minnesota. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
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