Other people‚Äôs dreams are never interesting‚Ä¶except when they‚Äôre about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it.¬†This week, a reader asks Lauri:
Real life info: I’m in a new relationship, one that is very healthy for me and I’m quite happy. I have had an ex remain in my heart for several years, not in the healthiest of ways. We talk occasionally, but less and less the closer I get to my new, loving beau. (Not common in my past attempted relationships.)
Last night I had a dream that this ex and I were being very intimate, having sex(ish?). Dream-me didn’t register it as cheating. There was no one around but the two of us, our significant others didn’t seem to exist, and we were enjoying it. It was a loving interaction. Makes sense as there are still flickers of desire between the two of us.
Here are the things I found unusual:¬†I felt no guilt, paranoia, confusion, or distraction as I do in other intimate dreams.¬†I was not so much myself, but a camera, watching me and the ex in our interaction, from varying angles.¬†I think we were lying on stairs, stairs and a landing (heads facing upward), or floating.¬†Lastly, I supposedly reached orgasm in the dream and came all over. But there was blood everywhere. Dream-me knew it wasn’t my period starting, or my “cherry being popped,” yet there was blood all over my underwear and on him. I couldn’t figure out why I had a blood-gasm.
This strange dream has had me in a funk. Please interpret!
Lauri:¬†I believe your dream is trying to help you with this emotional triangle you are in. The guilt and paranoia are not in this dream because this ex has resided in your heart so deeply or for so long that it must seem natural and feels like home as opposed to other sex dream partners.
Your perspective in the dream is that of a spectator rather than a participant because, even though he feels comfortable to you, you are trying to detach yourself from him for the sake of your current relationship. It is also very significant that your dream takes place on the landing of a staircase. The landing is an in-between place and you are in an in-between place emotionally with this ex. You can either let these emotions build and progress (going upstairs) by continuing to have contact with him and entertaining thoughts of him, or you can let them fade (going downstairs) by cutting off contact and redirecting those naughty thoughts when they occur. The landing suggests you are “at a place” in your heart and mind where you need to decide which direction to go.
Now let’s talk about that blood-gasm, shall we? As lovely as that imagery is, it is also just as significant. So in order to figure out the significance we have to look at what an orgasm is: It is a satisfactory ending or completion of sex. It seems your dream is trying to help you “see,” just as you were a spectator in the dream, that this relationship with your ex is over. Obviously parts of it were very satisfactory to you, since you still hold feelings for him, but again, this dream is trying to help you move on.
And that is where the blood comes in. When we bleed in a dream it means that something is draining us in real life. It may be that you are giving too much of your energy or emotion to this ex and aren’t getting back what you are putting into it. And the blood is all in your underwear because this is something you have to keep under wraps.
The funk it left you with is important. I believe it is because deep down you realized what your dream was telling you: that in order to fully give yourself to your current boyfriend, you have to end the emotion you are still giving to your ex. The idea of completely letting go may be painful but, if you are planning on having a long, healthy, and trusting relationship, this has to end.
Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.
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