Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): Intimacy and laughter are what turn a hook-up into a lasting relationship. Continued intimacy and laughter will then lead to marriage — at least, in my experience. Hot hook-ups when I was single were great and all, but if the guy bored me, or if there was little connection outside the bedroom, there was no chance I was about to be picking out curtains at Ikea with him. Of course, guys are weird and sometimes a man just isn’t looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend. So even if he’s busting his gut and a nut every time you’re together, he just might not be ready. Ask, and move on if that’s what you’re looking for.
Straight Married Guy (David Jacobs):¬†A baby!
Straight Single Guy (Adam):¬†I can’t speak for everyone else, but for me, a hook-up turns into someone I want to have as my girlfriend when I don’t just want to hook up with her. If I spend all my time thinking about all the things I want to do with my hook-up other than hooking up, then that’s a telltale sign she’s not just a hook-up.
As for whether a hook-up has, in fact, transformed into an actual girlfriend, I think that’s something that can only happen after we’ve both had a conversation about it. It would probably be one-sided and go something like this: “Hey remember when I was treating you like a piece of meat? Yeah, so I’m all done with that, and I’d really like to take it to the next level. I realize I didn’t treat you with a lot of respect before, but I’m totally ready to buy you flowers and kiss puppy dogs with you and all that shit. What do you say? … Hey, where are you going?”
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Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is David Jacobs, a NYC-based photographer; our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross, who works for a network news program and lives in Brooklyn with his husband and two dogs; and our Straight Single Guy is Adam, a lawyer and native Floridian in his early thirties. To ask the guys your own question, click here.