Your Call: Why Does He Watch Porn When My Sex Drive Is Higher?

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We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

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Dear Em & Lo,

My boyfriend watches porn and I am ok with it. However, my concern is that I am a very active sex partner and he is the who isn’t (not as often as I would like), so what would be his need for porn????

— Left Hanging

What should Left Hanging do? Let her know in the comments section below.

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11 Comments on "Your Call: Why Does He Watch Porn When My Sex Drive Is Higher?"


2 years 4 months ago

Left Hanging, VARIETY is the key to an exciting sex life, especially for men. You have to look at how often he is watching porn. Is it daily, weekly, etc? What type of porn is it? Is it gay porn, S&M porn, etc?

I don’t care if a man is having sex daily with a woman, he still is going to want to watch porn, go to a strip club, or call a phone sex line.

Keep in mind that you don’t have to be left out. Watch COUPLES porn together. Once again, VARIETY is the key.

mrscb
2 years 4 months ago

I say go buy porn that u like and the two of u watch it together. Hopefully it’ll get the mood right. Make a sexy game of it and be willing to be a pornstar for him in that moment.

piglet
2 years 4 months ago

I’m having the exact same problem too. My bf and I only have sex once or twice a month and it’s killing me. I’ve asked him about it but he only says it’s because he’s tired from work and that I should stop pressuring him. He has a fetish that he refuses to include me in, and now I’m too shy/ have such low self-esteem that I don’t even have the heart to try turning him on anymore. Sorry to jump on another person’s thread but this situation is so baffling for me :(

Mike
2 years 4 months ago

Sex involves two partners while masturbation involves one. There is no pressure on yourself when you are masturbating, not to imply that you are putting pressure on him. It just occurs, especially if he is aware that you want sex more often than him.

Could just be a way for him to get what he needs minus some of the stress or anxiety of having sex.

A
2 years 4 months ago

I’m having the same issue. Basically, I’m down for sex whenever. I have a pretty high drive. But my guy’s drive is low. But he manages to have enough of a drive that he jerks it to porn every time I go to work and sometimes when I’m off showering. I told him I’m ok with him looking at it as long as he isn’t passing me up for porn and he says he’s not. But I don’t understand why he is jerking it 5 or 6 days a week and but only giving me time once a week. All it does it make me feel bad about myself. I don’t know how to approach him about it either. I don’t want to guilt him away from porn/masturbating. I’m all for having your own private sexy time. I just want more together sexy time too.