Dirty talk can terrify even the most seasoned sexual adventurer—people are afraid of sounding stupid or afraid of like a pornstar… or perhaps they’re afraid of not sounding like a pornstar. But when you break it down, dirty talk is actually much simpler and more approachable than you might think. Here are five easy ways to try it out:
1. React to What’s Happening
If something feels good, say so. Start with moans and sighs (they count, too!), or a breathy repetition of your partner’s name, and work up to “Yes!” or “That feels good” or “I love it when you do that”—and eventually you can build up to “I love it when you [BLANK] with your [BLANK].”
2. Ditch Your Thesaurus
Speaking of the [BLANK]: As a general rule, the more words a term for the genitals contains, the more likely it is to induce giggles or a wince. On the other hand, you probably want to steer clear of terms that a gynecologist or urologist would use—penis, vulva, vagina, etc. (kind of a buzz kill!). You’re safest sticking to the casual basics for his junk, i.e. cock or dick. For her, if you’re comfortable with pussy, then go for it. Or, you could just work around specific terms and simply substitute “you” and “me” instead, e.g. “I want you inside me”; “You feel so good on top of me”; etc.
3. Compliment Your Partner
Compliment each other’s body parts, compliment the way a partner feels or looks or smells or sounds, tell them how sexy it is when they climax, tell them how turned on you get when they moan, and so on. In context, you’d be surprised how dirty this all sounds.
4. Ask Questions
“Do you want me to [BLANK]?” “Do you like that?” “How does that feel?” “What do you want me to do with my [BLANK]?” “Does that feel good?” “What do you want me to do next?” “What would turn you on?” “What do you want to do to me?”
5. Give Directions
“Touch me here.” “Kiss me there.” “Take off your clothes.” “I want you to come.” “Close your eyes.” “Turn over.” “Leave that on.” “Put your hand here.” “Don’t move.” “Don’t stop.” “Please don’t stop.”
Whatever you say, make your voice a little lower and softer or huskier than your regular voice. This will probably come naturally—kind of like how your voice automatically gets higher when you talk to a baby—and the more you do it, the more naturally it will come. Now get out there and verbalize!