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My BDSM Relationship Is Giving Me Nightmares

Thu, May 23, 2013

Advice, Dream Interpretation

“Em & Lo’s Shades of Play Kit” at GoodVibes

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I have, for lack of a better word, a f*ck buddy who I see pretty regularly. We primarily engage in bondage, dom/sub play… basically, if one of us suggests something, and the other is interested, we’ll try it. I’ve made it very clear from the beginning that I was not interested in any kind of relationship outside of the bedroom, although I do have the suspicion he may be developing feelings for me. Any sign of emotion I politely turn down and then usually leave.

In my dream we lived in the same building, and I lived on the floor below his. Everything in both our apartments was very clean, modern, white/bright, and sterile looking. He was on top of me, missionary position, and we were fooling around. He was talking dirty, calling me dirty names, all the things I usually like. I told him to stop, and when he asked me what was wrong, I told him nothing, I just wasn’t in the mood. I then told him I had to go home and feed my pet or it was going to eat me.

I took the elevator downstairs and in my apartment was either a white wolf or a white tiger. It was showing signs of anger, and I remember being extremely scared of it as I fed it chunks of raw meat. As I fed it, it and myself started to calm down, but I was still very tense and afraid of it killing me. I woke up still feeling tense and on edge.

Lauri:¬† VERY interesting dream. Let’s dive into it and see what insight it has for you regarding your current situation. The building you live in together is the relationship you have built. It’s not a committed relationship, but it is a relationship nonetheless. Since you live below him in the dream, you must play the submissive one in your relationship.

The clean and sterile look and feel of the apartments is your perspective of the relationship: don’t muddy it up with emotions. You telling him to stop in the dream may really be you telling yourself to stop the relationship in real life. Remember, dreams are a conversation with the self happening in one’s own mind so whatever is said in a dream is something you are saying to yourself.

You also tell him you have to feed your pet or it will eat you. THAT is very interesting. Your pet represents the bondage you like to engage in; it is a “pet” project, so to speak. You need to feed it or it will eat you. This is all about your need to feed this desire for BDSM play, and if you don’t feed that need, it will eat away at you until you do! This desire for BDSM is being shown to you in the form of a predatory animal because this is something you have to hunt down in order to bring into your life.

This part of you is angry at you and you fear it because YOU are angry that what you thought was a sterile, non-emotional relationship has turned on you, and you fear it will cause you problems. But just as you feared the predatory animal would hurt you, do you also fear you will get hurt if the relationship becomes emotional?

Also, you feared the animal would kill you. That tells me you fear that if the relationship became emotional, it would kill off who you are right now. The fear you experienced in the dream and the angst you felt upon waking need to be addressed. Sex and emotions are very hard to keep separate. At some point the two worlds will collide. It seems your dream is trying to show you that you can only feed one for so long before the other starts to eat away at you.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it.

 

 

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