Dear Em and Lo,
I love my girlfriend, but she isn’t as hot as other girls I see around, and I’m attracted to them, too. I would likely bang one if I had the chance. What should I do?
Let us guess, you’re Dirty Sanchez’s pervy younger brother, yes?
We don’t think you’re entirely clear on the definition of the word “love.”¬†Please break up with this girl immediately and give her the chance to meet a guy who actually deserves her.
Also, if you insist on using “bang” as a verb, then you should get used to spending a lot of time with your right hand. Actually, we’re pretty sure you should get used to spending a lot of time with your right hand, period.
We hope you grow up to be a better dude.
Em & Lo