We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.
Dear Em & Lo,
I am so frustrated being nearly 24 and never had a relationsship. I’m outgoing, I have great friends, I’m doing well in grad school, I have traveled extensively and I have many interests. My confidence is usually okay, I’m actually most confident in clubs as I do get a lot of looks from guys.
But the problem is I feel most guys look at me as hookup material. I’m blond and have a nice figure, but I usually try to chat to guys about my studies and things that interest me or my travelling (and of course ask a lot about them as well).
Why is it so hard for me to find guys that are looking for a girlfriend? I have not been on a date for half a year and very often I am not attracted to the guys that ask me out on dates. I usually say yes just to try it, but without attraction there’s no point for me to continue seeing them.
I hope I do not come off as shallow, I did date this great guy for three months but in the end I realised I was not attacted to him at all. Some friends of mine later said I really should up my standards, which made me question why it’s so hard for me to find an attractive guy to date. I do catch handsome guys on the street looking at me quite often.
So how to find guys I am actually attracted to who do not just look at me as hookup material? Are my standards to high? You might suggest internet dating which I have tried and did not like. Also my spare time is limitied, so I find clubs and bars to be the easiest place to meet guys.
Thanks so much.
— One Is the Loneliest Number
What words of wisdom do you have for OITLN? Leave your feedback in the comments section below.